Imamother vs IRL re health and safety opinions

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Forum -> Children's Health

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amother

Arcticblue

Wed, Mar 22 2023, 7:43 pm

amother Phlox wrote:

In most cultures, mothers co sleep with their young ones. As mothers did throughout the generations. Separating a baby from its mother is a very recent western innovation.

Yes and they also covered them with blankets and put them to sleep on their stomachs.

It's a wonder the human race survived at all. /sarcasm/

amother

Peony

Wed, Mar 22 2023, 11:13 pm

Amarante wrote:

Yes I realize this is the go to mantra of imamother that size is irrelevant in terms of being able to provide quality attention to every child.

Yes of course there are terrible parents who have one child.

But in terms of the average normal person, the quality of attention that is able to be given to each child is going to be better when there are well spaced children.

I just don't see how this could be denied unless it is a wealthy household and the mother has sufficient help so that all of the time can be spent in the higher level aspects of parenting and the mundane care is done by housekeepers or other servant.

It's not a go to mantra, I see it in real life. In my community, there are families of all sizes, and I really don't see a direct correlation. Parents for the most part provide for their children's physical and emotional needs. Sure there are some mothers who get very overwhelmed and stressed, but that is their personality type and usually nothing to do with how many kids they have.

I have a nice amount of kids BH, though not double digit, and I fully devote my time to my kids. I am fully present when they come home from school, I am not running errands at that time, I give them lots of attention.
Do I cut corners in other areas to make that work?
You bet. We use paper goods during the week, I don't iron (I get wrinkle free shirts), and things like that. Nothing that comes at the expense of the kids needs though. And I have some cleaning help.

amother

RosePink

Wed, Mar 22 2023, 11:43 pm

amother Arcticblue wrote:

Yes and they also covered them with blankets and put them to sleep on their stomachs.

It's a wonder the human race survived at all. /sarcasm/

Has no one here had a baby that would not sleep on their back or without a blanket? I tried sleep sacks but they don't work...
I think an exhausted mom is worse than letting a baby sleep on their stomach. And if you read the actual studies the risk of SIDS from that is quite low!

lucky14

Wed, Mar 22 2023, 11:47 pm

honey36 wrote:

This says you should share a room with baby until 6-12 months. Who actually does that, lol. Do the people who make these guidelines even have kids?

Me. I do. Not sure what’s so funny about it but glad you are amused. And I actually enjoy looking over at night and seeing them sleeping all cute in their crib.

honey36

Wed, Mar 22 2023, 11:59 pm

lucky14 wrote:

Me. I do. Not sure what’s so funny about it but glad you are amused. And I actually enjoy looking over at night and seeing them sleeping all cute in their crib.

Oh goodness, looks like I will never live this comment down. I thought it was funny because I cannot imagine wanting my baby to be in my room past newborn age, and same for everyone I've spoken to about it. I don't sleep as well, the baby doesn't seem to sleep as well, and DH also doesn't like it.

The few times ive had to share a room with my older baby (like on vacation) when they see us there in middle of the night they get all excited and think it's time to play! Then it's a whole process getting them back to bed 😂

But I see now many people like it! Whatever floats your boat! ⛵

Amarante

Thu, Mar 23 2023, 12:22 am

amother Arcticblue wrote:

Yes and they also covered them with blankets and put them to sleep on their stomachs.

It's a wonder the human race survived at all. /sarcasm/

You do realize that survival rate of infants was very low until the 20th century so sleeping on stomachs as a cause of death would be a blip.

It is only with modern medicine with antibiotics and vaccines that essentially eliminate childhood deaths have people been able to look at other causes of death or harm to children.

However I think many infants were swaddled and so wouid not have blankets and would sleep on their backs even in ancient cultures 🤷‍♀️

lucky14

Thu, Mar 23 2023, 12:37 am

honey36 wrote:

I hear that. Makes sense. Luckily it works out for us.

amother

Emerald

Thu, Mar 23 2023, 12:46 am

And strap your babies in the stroller. I was on the Jewish Williamsburg bus one day, and a mother was pulling the stroller up the steps to the back of the bus. That stroller tipped over and the baby flew right out, landed face-down hard on the steps.
I see mothers walking with babies as young as 3 mo or younger unstrapped in their strollers all the time in borough park. It’s shocking.

giftedmom

Thu, Mar 23 2023, 1:45 am

Just use your g-d given instincts, a healthy dose of common sense, and research if you feel it’s warranted.
I did alot of research on many of the scenarios above and make informed decisions.
Regardless of what my neighbors do without thinking, or the hospital booklet says because the AAP told them to write it because once upon a time someone decided they needed an easy fix and something to pin SIDS on.

amother

Tiffanyblue

Thu, Mar 23 2023, 6:25 am

Laiya wrote:

So ask questions and evaluate each issue. Don't blindly trust, but also don't dismiss something that might be right. There's no downside to being safer with babies in cars.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yA7r92TFMY8

imasinger

Thu, Mar 23 2023, 6:33 am

Are there really so many people who dismiss their pediatricians as clueless?

I've shopped around, and always had great ones, BH. If they didn't know enough about something I asked, they'd research further, and would tell me where they looked, and how they came to that opinion. Just like my rav when I ask a question.

The internet is good for people learning things they might not otherwise have known. The proper step when hearing about a stricture that is new to you is to research it properly.

Saying, "well, nobody I know ever heard that or did it, so clearly it's fake" is not productive.

honey36

Thu, Mar 23 2023, 7:25 am

amother Tiffanyblue wrote:

I've seen this video before and don't like it. Anyone else notice that the dummy with the coat and the child with the coat on we're not strapped in properly in the first place? Not saying its safe to keep the coat on, but at least in the video they should show the dummy with straps in the same place for both "crashes". I wonder if the middle harness was actually at underarm height for the crash if the dummy would have still gone flying.

Laiya

Thu, Mar 23 2023, 8:03 am

honey36 wrote:

Good catch. They should've fastened the seatbelt properly. But, I think the point remains valid. A puff coat can compress under impact. They also only tested on a car driving at 30mph.

Chickensoupprof

Thu, Mar 23 2023, 9:33 am

Regarding health:
-Does the baby poop/pee regularly?
-Does the baby have a normal temperature?
-Does the baby drink/eat well?
-Is the baby alert and lively?

If your answer to these questions are yes, then there is nothing wrong with the baby.

Regarding safety, every car seat that is sold in the West with a CE certificate for example (is in the EU) is safe for usage. I won't get a pram or car seat from AliExpress just for that reason.

amother

Charcoal

Thu, Mar 23 2023, 9:37 am

honey36 wrote:

This says you should share a room with baby until 6-12 months. Who actually does that, lol. Do the people who make these guidelines even have kids?

OP, I totally agree with you and make fun of these things all the time. Especially the hygiene stuff. Like what's going to happen to your kids if they only shower once a week? As long as they don't smell, I think that's fine. (For the record, my kids do shower more often than that, but I don't judge others who are too busy or whatever)

Or like if one kid is sick, try not to spread the germs with other kids in the house . Lol. Anyone who has kids/toddlers knows that of they have a runny nose, the germs are literally everywhere. It's a losing battle so why make yourself crazy? Kids get sick, that's part of life.

What's funny to me is that the safety and hygiene stuff is so important, but the nutrition no one really cares about.
https://www.imamother.com/foru.....04027

I have a large family BH and I do that. Who doesn’t do that? Babies belong near their mothers for the first year.

amother

Charcoal

Thu, Mar 23 2023, 9:39 am

amother Beige wrote:

No it's not instinctive, many people sleep better in a separate room and there is nothing wrong with that.

There is something wrong with that. Babies belong near their mothers. This should be basic and intuitive.

amother

Taupe

Thu, Mar 23 2023, 5:19 pm

amother OP wrote:

Anyone feel like Imamother is totally different than IRL opinions re children's health and safety?

For instance coats in car seats. I learned on Imamother that it can be very dangerous if there is a crash. But IRL, everyone I see has their kids wearing puffy coats when strapped into their carseats.

Same goes for blankets with baby in crib. Or everyone I see IRL has their babies in high top European style shoes, while on Imamother only Robeez are OK. Etc

Because most people just go eh & get on with their life, but those who have very strong opinions will let everyone know what they are & make a point of replying to the question.
I did not know that a baby should not wear a coat in a car seat - especially a puffy one, but that has not stopped me putting my kids in with them on. I get shoes that the store sells, that fit my kids and that they dont complain about how they feel. I get on with my life but dont go around telling people not to listen to the official guidelines.

amother

Steel

Thu, Mar 23 2023, 5:46 pm

amother Emerald wrote:

The issue is pulling a stroller up the steps with the baby inside. Most bassinet strollers don’t have straps. If they do have straps then they aren’t safe for sleep.

amother

Steel

Thu, Mar 23 2023, 5:49 pm

amother RosePink wrote:

You can swaddle the baby, or tuck the blanket under the mattress so it is secure. The risk is enough to be statistically significant.

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