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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Giving Gifts
watergirl
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 12:01 pm
Please help me understand this. Why do people suggest towels as gifts as a PERSONAL gift, like a birthday? Especially from a MIL to a DIL. I truly want to understand what the thought process is.
I am asking specifically this:
If you are a DIL, do you appreciate receiving towels from your MIL?
If you are a MIL, why do you give towels to your DIL?
Personally, my MIL recently gave me hand towels and I was honestly baffled. She does not have to give me anything, ever, and I appreciated the thought, thanked her, and used them when she came. But I was actually offended (maybe because the gift came along with a note telling me she wanted me to put them out when I was hosting something specific at my house).
I see why towels would be a great wedding or engagement gift and are of course on wedding registries. I can always use new towels, but want to pick them myself and I just grab some from Target.
I see towels as a gift for the house, never as a gift for a person. How is it a gift for ME?
Thoughts appreciated.
[Post has been edited for clarity, I am referring specifically to a MIL who gives a DIL towels for her birthday or as a personal gift, not a house gift]
Last edited by watergirl on Thu, Mar 23 2023, 1:27 pm; edited 3 times in total
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amother
Moonstone
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 12:07 pm
Because they wear out fast and always need replacing.
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watergirl
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 12:11 pm
But how is it a gift specifically for a DIL? It’s a house gift. It’s not hers.
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ap
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 12:12 pm
Because nice hand towels are more expensive than the ones I'd buy for myself..
Definitely considered gifting them as a guest
I enjoy nice things in my house so I do see it as a gift for me..
Not sure about the part where you wrote she asked you to use them specific times?
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rachelli66
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 12:21 pm
You can keep them for yourselves. You and DH. You can keep them for visitors and put them out when they come. There is always a use for them and they do get worn out quickly.
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amother
Dill
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 12:22 pm
I often but my siblings towels, they have big families and a few good quality towels are really appreciated.
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amother
Blueberry
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 12:29 pm
My MIL has gifted me towels 2x in the 20+ days years I am married.
One was about 6 months in for absolutely no occasion, she had a set monogrammed in the color I decorated our first apartment in, with our initials. To be honest, they are still fairly new, as they are too nice to use, I have bath sheets that are so much bigger, and no longer match my guest bath.
Maybe five years ago, she was in the xmas tree shop, and saw I hand towels with the letter of our last name. She bought those for me too. Those do match and they are in my powder room. She loves to buy any napkins and Amazingly Savings, water pitcher which was with MM, stack of Post-It’s, stationary, or anything else with the initial. It is never a real gift it is “I saw this and bought one for us and for you and local SILs. She is incredibly thoughtful and sweet. She is looking to bestow love and family connections.
It is definitely a house gift (and is just because) which is very different than a gift for me for a birthday.
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amother
Cantaloupe
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 12:48 pm
People think it is a “safe” gift everyone can use and likes
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amother
RosePink
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 12:52 pm
What kind of towel?
Sorry I just had to ask.
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watergirl
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 12:54 pm
rachelli66 wrote: | You can keep them for yourselves. You and DH. You can keep them for visitors and put them out when they come. There is always a use for them and they do get worn out quickly. |
Are you the MIL who gives them, or the DIL who loves getting them?
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DrMom
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 1:21 pm
watergirl wrote: | Please help me understand this. Why do people suggest towels as gifts? Especially from a MIL to a DIL. I truly want to understand what the thought process is.
I am asking specifically this:
If you are a DIL, do you appreciate receiving towels from your MIL?
If you are a MIL, why do you give towels to your DIL?
Personally, my MIL recently gave me hand towels and I was honestly baffled. She does not have to give me anything, ever, and I appreciated the thought, thanked her, and used them when she came. But I was actually offended (maybe because the gift came along with a note telling me she wanted me to put them out when I was hosting something specific at my house).
I see why towels would be a great wedding or engagement gift and are of course on wedding registries. I can always use new towels, but want to pick them myself and I just grab some from Target.
I see towels as a gift for the house, never as a gift for a person. How is it a gift for ME?
Thoughts appreciated. |
Except for the part where she asked you to use them for a specific occasion (once you give somebody a gift, you don't get to control what they do with it), I don't see why this gift would offend you.
I mean, I wouldn't want to receive towels (or any other household item) as a personal birthday gift, but as a hostess gift or just general nice gesture, what's the problem?
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amother
Moonstone
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 1:24 pm
I think it's a very reasonable "coming for YT gift", but maybe not for a birthday. I didn't realize that was the original question
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amother
Jasmine
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 1:25 pm
watergirl wrote: | But how is it a gift specifically for a DIL? It’s a house gift. It’s not hers. |
It's so hard to know what personal gift to get. She probably couldn't think of anything else.
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watergirl
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 1:25 pm
amother Moonstone wrote: | I think it's a very reasonable "coming for YT gift", but maybe not for a birthday. I didn't realize that was the original question |
I edited the subject. I'm referring to when towels are given from the MIL to the DIL as a personal gift. Ie, for her birthday.
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amother
Jasmine
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 1:26 pm
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watergirl
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 1:28 pm
DrMom wrote: | Except for the part where she asked you to use them for a specific occasion (once you give somebody a gift, you don't get to control what they do with it), I don't see why this gift would offend you.
I mean, I wouldn't want to receive towels (or any other household item) as a personal birthday gift, but as a hostess gift or just general nice gesture, what's the problem? |
I was offended because she gave them to me as a personal gift, not as a stam gift, and her note was along the lines of, she wanted to make sure I have clean towels to put out. Insinuating that she had to provide the towels (as a gift, no less) or I would embarrass her by putting out dirty towels.
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amother
Cantaloupe
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 1:46 pm
Sorry you got offended.
While I don’t know your relationship were it me I wouldn’t take it personally. Gift giving can be tricky. Some people are not so good at it. Better if she’d asked your Dh what to get you though sometimes husbands don’t know either
Mazel Tov!
I remind myself it is the thought that counts
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watergirl
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 2:09 pm
amother Cantaloupe wrote: | Sorry you got offended.
While I don’t know your relationship were it me I wouldn’t take it personally. Gift giving can be tricky. Some people are not so good at it. Better if she’d asked your Dh what to get you though sometimes husbands don’t know either
Mazel Tov!
I remind myself it is the thought that counts |
I mean obviously there is a history.
It's just I don't understand the thought that goes through someone's mind, like "it's her birthday, I'll give her a towel for the house". That's what I'm hoping to learn here.
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kenz
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 2:28 pm
watergirl wrote: | I was offended because she gave them to me as a personal gift, not as a stam gift, and her note was along the lines of, she wanted to make sure I have clean towels to put out. Insinuating that she had to provide the towels (as a gift, no less) or I would embarrass her by putting out dirty towels. |
She sounds a little nutty. Don’t try to make sense of other people’s mishegasim, and try not to take offense if you can. Maybe you can give her a can of deodorant for her birthday.😆
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amother
Steel
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Thu, Mar 23 2023, 2:32 pm
As girls we would gift each other personalized towels
It's the comment about embarrassing her that I'm not sure about
Real mil dil situation
Does she come onto imamother?
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