As the host- what's the best plan for clothing?

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Forum -> Relationships -> Guests

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amother

Sat, Mar 25 2023, 7:40 pm

I am hosting relatives for the whole pesach as a chessed. The way I was able to figure it out was by moving around my kids, some into other kids rooms and some to non bedrooms on mattresses. I'm so proud of my kids for taking this on bsimcha. I'm just trying to work out the logistics.
What do I do about their clothes? Everyone's clothing is in their own bedroom. Am I supposed to move everyone's clothes out? To where? In what? Is there any way to avoid this being a huge tircha?
Also am I expected to give the guests empty drawers to use?
I just want to do the right thing by everyone.

amother

Whitewash

Sat, Mar 25 2023, 8:17 pm

I think it's reasonable to expect limited access to the rooms that you have guests staying in. Remove yontiff clothing in advance of their arrival. If you can't do that, take out for the first night and then remove an outfit at a time by asking if there is a good time for you to come into the room to get clean clothes for the kids (that will allow them to tidy or put away anything personal). I also think you need to make some room for their clothes. It sounds like you are doing a big mitzvah, but you feel imposed upon. Maybe think of a way to get some of this out before they arrive or do something special with your immediate family after they leave. Are you expecting them to be difficult guests? Was this not something you wanted?

amother

Snow

Sat, Mar 25 2023, 8:20 pm

You can get the plastic drawers and a hanging rack for your room so you can keep clothing there. I would not leave clothing I’m planning to use in guest rooms.

This sounds exceptionally nice of you.

One empty draw and hanging space is enough to empty imo.

amother

Chambray

Sat, Mar 25 2023, 8:25 pm

I think you don't need to empty a drawer but there should be some hanging space. And I would take out everything you can that the kids would need, like you're packing for a trip, but if you forget something it's okay to go in and get it (with advance notice to the guests and time for them to tidy if needed).

ra_mom

Sat, Mar 25 2023, 8:36 pm

We put a folding hanging rack into the room where the child is joining a sibling, and bring all hanging clothes needed for yom tov along with a basket from their closet for underwear/socks/pj's.

Sometimes we use one of these in the guest room if there is no room in the closet for them to hang items. Or if any of the rooms are too full we sometimes set one up in the nearby laundry room so either guests or displaced child can hang all their clothes properly.

Household Essentials 5277 Laundry Valet Garment Rack | Drying Rack | Bronze https://a.co/d/dyq8MDU

Girl@Heart

Sat, Mar 25 2023, 9:01 pm

I put out a luggage rack and leave hanging space in the closet for company.

lfab

Sat, Mar 25 2023, 9:11 pm

I think rooms that will have children sleeping in them it's perfectly fine to go in and get stuff as needed. A room that will have a married couple sleeping there you should try to remove anything that will be needed for the time the will be there. Of course if you realize you forgot something I don't think there's anything wrong with saying to your guest that you need to get something from the room and to please let you know when is a good time to go in and get it.

BrisketBoss

Sat, Mar 25 2023, 9:37 pm

There's a kid's room that I borrow when I visit relatives. Every evening he politely asks permission to come take clothes for the next day. It works.

amother

Hawthorn

Sat, Mar 25 2023, 9:40 pm

When I was a kid I would take the YTs worth of clothes and hang them in the laundry room which was near the den I slept in.
Now when we go the sibling I displace takes his stuff erev YT, then again first night CHM, and again before the last days.

amother

Sat, Mar 25 2023, 10:09 pm

So I have a guestroom that has 2 twin beds and room for a pack n play. That room has a closet in it. I don't really have extra room, my kids rooms are very tiny and each one is having an extra mattress in it. I have 2 kids sleeping on mattresses in my husbands office also a very tight squeeze.
This relative's wife has a medical condition and it recently became obvious that they can't make pesach and we are the only frum relatives. I don't really have the room for them but we are making it work, I just didn't think of this issue with the clothing. On top of having a whole extra family that we don't really know to be honest, now I have to pack up clothing for all my kids to relocate somewhere else. Eek.
So how much do I need to pack per kid? What about my baby and my toddler? They go through a ton of changes. The older kids will probably be easier. Any efficient hacks for the space issue?
Thanks y'all.

mommyhood

Sat, Mar 25 2023, 10:23 pm

amother OP wrote:

How old are the guests kids? If they’re young I think it’s fine for you to be able to go in and get clothing as long as the guests are not sleeping and you let them know you’re going in. I would try and go in the evening before anyone goes to bed and take out pajamas and the next days clothing. Just fold it neatly in the corner of the room the kid is sleeping in. Most things will be fine like that overnight. Keep a few extra changes for your baby and toddler on your dresser or the floor of your closet for emergencies.

amother

Oldlace

Sat, Mar 25 2023, 11:20 pm

I’ve been on the hosting end of this scenario afew times.
Option A: go in once an evening to get pjs and clothes for the next day.
Option B: if you have a garage I’ve dumped all the kids clothes in laundry baskets or suitcases one basket per kid and kept the baskets in the garage. The stuff that must be hung I hung up in my bedroom.
Option C: if no garage then put those baskets in my bedroom, sometimes even under the bed if they fit.
Whatever you do itl probably be messy and a little frustrating at times. The life lessons youl teach your kids about flexibility in small spaces, being there for someone in need and hospitality are priceless. May the zechus stand you in good stead in the future.

samantha1

Sat, Mar 25 2023, 11:27 pm

Ya that’s the hardest part about not having guest rooms . Try your best to take out as much as u can before hand (mayb keep it in your room/ closet ?) but you will for sure have to go in at some point, you can’t remember everything , just ask before u go in . And it’s not necessary to leave a drawer empty for them.

salt

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 4:53 am

As others say - I would ask every evening if I can go in and get clothes for the next day.
And during the day, if you need something, do the same.
Just not when the guests are sleeping.

amother

Whitewash

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 8:37 am

What a tremendous mitzvah you are doing. You should be commended for making this family's yontiff possible, particularly as they are not close family. Also, think of the example you are setting for your children. It's an enormous amount of extra work at a time that is already very complicated. You must be a very special person. Will it be possible for the group to get out a little on Chol Hamoed so you get some air and the feeling of not being tied to the house? Do you have a plan for dinner so that after the work of the first days, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday are not so stressful? Many resourceful imamothers here are working their crockpots for CH. I am a fan of sheet pan chicken (roast chicken, potatoes, and a vegetable on one sheet and voila, dinner). I'm wondering if the stressing about the clothing is in general an expressing of your concern about how to make this very long period of hosting work. Many good suggestions above. Good luck and Kol Hakavod.

piegirl

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 8:41 am

I have relatives that sleep in my kids room sometimes. When they come I get 4 kids in my room. There is no room to store clothes. We tried the first few times to keep their clothes in a basket. It was too much work, too messy, and too cluttered. Now e just go in twice a day and say “is it ok if I come in to get the kids clothes?” And it works out ok.

amother

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 10:08 am

amother Whitewash wrote:

This is such a beautiful post. The clothing stress came as I started trying to work out the details and logistics of how to make pesach as comfortable as possible for everyone.

They have all different age kids. 14 and under. I spoke with the husband, he is very grateful and willing to help as his wife will be out of commission. He told me to just ask. Not sure what I would ask him to do, his plate is already so full.

Hashem will help us and I will ride the waves of the chaos.

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