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amother

Sat, Mar 25 2023, 11:22 pm

https://avivahwerner.com/2023/.....lity/

Goes through a scenario where discipline wasn't done, and shows how a parent can/should handle it at any stage of the behavior.

#BestBubby

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 12:04 am

I would have told child to give it back,

Counted to 3. Then take the bead back.

Ridiculous how adults cower before preschoolers.

amother

Ivory

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 1:36 am

amother OP wrote:

https://avivahwerner.com/2023/03/22/how-to-teach-children-to-take-responsibility/

Goes through a scenario where discipline wasn't done, and shows how a parent can/should handle it at any stage of the behavior.

This produces the fragile children in our generation. The old school ideas worked better: "dc, please give it back to Mrs __ because hers". If the child doesn't give it right away than you say "if you're not giving it back right now then I will take away your doll or other favorite toy for one day". Or ",if you're not give it back right now than I will have to give it to her".

amother

Marigold

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 1:47 am

I am always slightly horrified when parents allow their children to destroy other people's things. I cannot for the life of me understand it.

I would have gotten into that child's face and sternly said I need my bead back. Kids usually listen to other adults faster than their own parents.

mushkamothers

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 1:49 am

Not sure why step 3 is asking them to give it back. That would be my step 1.

groisamomma

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 1:58 am

This mother sounds socially off. Who stands by and watches while their child intentionally destroys another person's possession?

giftedmom

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 2:02 am

This is ridiculous. The child is four. I would’ve taken it right out of her hand. Much ado over nothing.

BrisketBoss

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 2:07 am

amother Ivory wrote:

I agree with helping the child return it, without much ado, if she seems to be having trouble doing it herself. "If you don't give it back then I'll take something of yours!" strikes me as childish, manipulative, harmful to the parent-child relationship, and not even guaranteed to 'work.'

amother

Magenta

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 2:23 am

amother Ivory wrote:

Taking the bead from the child and returning it to its owner is a good idea.

Retaliating by taking something of the child's is not. The child took the bead impulsively. Little children have less impulse control than adults.do. Planning to take something from the child just creates a sense of insecurity. The child now knows that her possessions can disappear at any time. If anything, that insecurity may make her more likely to take things that don't belong to her. You think you're teaching her about cause and effect, but that's not necessarily the case.

My children are all responsible adults now, so I feel comfortable dispensing advice.

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