Would you send your baby overnight?

Blessing1

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 12:56 am

TwinsMommy wrote:

ok I'll play devil's advocate. What's my point in getting a night nurse..... so I don't have to care for baby overnight so I can sleep, right? So then why would I care if baby is in my home or the babysitter's home?

I never had a night nurse and part of the package of having babies IS getting up and feeding and diapering them at night in my opinion... but if you're rich enough for overnight help and that's how you want to spend your money, why does it make you evil to drop your baby off elsewhere every night?

Because they're in your home and everyone in the house can hear what's going on and the nurse knows that she's being supervised. You can also have a baby monitor and you/DH can check in during the night.

Queen Of Hearts

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 1:11 am

amother Smokey wrote:

For all those who say never, how is it different than a kimpeturin home where the baby stays in the nursery all night long?

How can you compare?
There is surveillance. There are many nurses around. And moms have access 24/7 to their babies.
Versus some woman at home. You have no access to your baby. No surveillance. You have no clue what is going on in her home.
Just no!

amother

Navy

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 1:11 am

amother Smokey wrote:

For all those who say never, how is it different than a kimpeturin home where the baby stays in the nursery all night long?

A. It’s short term
B. There are plenty people/surveillance cameras around
C. Mothers can pop in anytime

amother

Viola

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 1:11 am

I've never had a night nurse and can't imagine (or afford) having one. But reading this, I wonder: if the reason for having her in your house is that you can hear how long the baby cries and what she does and to have a baby monitor, then it seems you don't get much uninterrupted sleep anyway. So why not do things by yourself right away? What's the point of a night nurse if you then have to supervise her half the night? Seems impractical to me. Scratching Head

tichellady

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 1:14 am

maybe. I don't have a night nurse and I nurse my babies so it's not realistic for me but it depends on the situation. if it was someone I trusted I would consider if I was feeling terribly depressed or ill. I do send my babies to the nursery in the hospital at night but have them bring them to me to nurse

amother

Lightcyan

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 1:21 am

amother Viola wrote:

Because you're looking for help, not too fully offload the work onto someone else.

Help means you're working together. So the nurse will take care of the basic needs and you're around to step in if it goes beyond the basics. In the meantime, as long as you can rely on her to take care of the basics, you get some more sleep and more time for yourself. And then there's also the supervision part that everyone else mentioned. As long as there is the possibility that parents can stick their heads in at anytime or monitor the baby, then that staves off any inappropriate actions.

amother

Lightcyan

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 1:23 am

creditcards wrote:

Why is it any different than leaving a baby by the babysitter by day?

During the day everyone is up and about. At night, the world is sleeping. There's more of a chance of mismanagement and child neglect at night than during the day.

amother

Gray

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 3:16 am

Sweetmommy wrote:

It’s amazing how everyone is up in arms about this (I agree btw- how can you drop your baby off at someone’s home with no access or supervision??) but when it comes to playgroups and daytime babysitters everyone is ok with this? Double standard?

amother

Nasturtium

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 9:46 am

I never had a night nurse, but really if you trust the person then why not? Like others said it's not different than a daytime babysitter.

I know someone who took her sister's baby for the night, I don't see why not if she trusted her fully.

I can imagine getting a much better night's sleep than when baby is in the next room. Not a bad idea actually if you're super overwhelmed.

Blessing1

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 9:47 am

amother Nasturtium wrote:

Who sends a fresh newborn to a daytime sitter?

amother

Nasturtium

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 9:48 am

amother Lightcyan wrote:

During the day everyone is up and about. At night, the world is sleeping. There's more of a chance of mismanagement and child neglect at night than during the day.

Na, plenty of daytime horror stories. Babies don't talk.

Plenty of horror stories of baby nurses in the next room shaking baby or being otherwise abusive.

amother

Amber

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 9:53 am

The only time I can see this as a good option is if the mother had some kind of traumatic birth that she needs to recover from or a severe post partum infection. In that case I'd say to prioritize the mother's complete recovery over literally all else including baby spending a night away.

amother

Kiwi

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 10:08 am

There might be semantics going on.

Night nurse or baby nurse is generally used to describe a woman who takes care of the infant in the first weeks or month when the mother comes home. In many ways, it replaces the kind of old fashioned care that a woman would have gotten from her mother or other female relatives in a small community where everyone lived together.

The nurse allows the mother to recover and relax during the first few weeks. This is really helpful if it is a first baby as the nurse can also be there to support and teach in real life.

Some people do have to send a baby to a baby sitter even if they are infants. I guess if you are working a night shift you might send to a babysitter at night but I don't think that most frum women are working the night shift so if they are sending their young babies to day care, it would be during the day.

I don't think there is much difference between using a baby sitter at night or during the day in terms of safety. If you have to have a baby with a baby sitter, you vet and be as diligent as possible in terms of safety.