Would you send your baby overnight?

amother

Honeydew

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 10:12 am

amother Gray wrote:

It’s amazing how everyone is up in arms about this (I agree btw- how can you drop your baby off at someone’s home with no access or supervision??) but when it comes to playgroups and daytime babysitters everyone is ok with this? Double standard?

I don’t send my babies out before a year+, and only send to a daycare where there are several adult eyes around etc. and I still don’t love it. Bh my kids are very happy.

amother

Jean

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 10:15 am

Ok, il be the voice of dissent!

Yes I would!
Provided its a frum nurse and I trust her fully.

I know someone who did this with a relative, she sent her baby out for the first few months every night.

And If I have a night nurse in my home, I do not want to hear the baby at all.
Whats the point then?
Point is to get my sleep.

amother

Honeydew

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 10:16 am

amother Viola wrote:

I've never had a night nurse and can't imagine (or afford) having one. But reading this, I wonder: if the reason for having her in your house is that you can hear how long the baby cries and what she does and to have a baby monitor, then it seems you don't get much uninterrupted sleep anyway. So why not do things by yourself right away? What's the point of a night nurse if you then have to supervise her half the night? Seems impractical to me. Scratching Head

Because despite what some may think, I didn’t get a night nurse so I can avoid taking care and bonding with my babies (I nurse exclusively and she brings the baby at night for all feeds). I just have difficult recoveries and very challenging babies, and no one else to be another set of hands… if I didn’t have a nurse I would lose my mind and there would be no one caring for any of the kids… she hold the baby while bathe kids/ I shower and then I take over feed and cuddle, then she’ll take baby again while I hopefully sleep.

amother

Ballota

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 10:19 am

amother Gray wrote:

1)I don’t send newborns to daycare
2)when I go back to work at 4-6 months I have no choice
3)my daycare is fully licensed and has full transparency. I can come by anytime without notice.

giftedmom

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 10:20 am

amother Gray wrote:

I Personally don’t send to babysitters. Also we’re talking about a days old newborn here.

amother

Seashell

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 10:27 am

Extremely unlikely I would. But if I would, only to my mother, my sister or a SIL I trust. If I had a traumatic birth or something like that plus I couldn't nurse.

(I've never had a night nurse yes been to a kimp home with one of my kids. Kimp home I had a private room so had the option of keeping my baby in the room if I wanted.)

amother

Seashell

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 10:34 am

Ya, not the same thing. Newborns are a separate category. 6 weeks is bad enough, but plenty of people have no choice.

Newborns may sleep a lot or they may cry a lot (2 weeks plus). Distracting them is not really an option. They need to be held, fed, changed ASAP. I really don't trust too many people with a newborn. Plus they are fragile and immune systems aren't strong.

Already by 2 months some basic trust has been learnt hopefully and they've gotten some very important vaccines like DTaP. It would break my heart to send out a baby this age, but when it was needed I have.

amother

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 1:13 pm

Ok, I guess I got my answer! I was thinking of offering this service and was curious if people would send out their newborns instead of the night nurse coming to their house.
I wouldn't send my baby either but people are all different, I also never sent my kids out until they were 3, I worked from home. I work in a daycare and lots of babies start at 6-8 weeks

amother

Cadetblue

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 1:25 pm

I would not, but I was a SAHM and I am probably guilty of being a helicopter parent. I also didn’t send to school until 3 year nursery which was 3 morahs, and 15 children in a classroom in a shul with 8 or so other classes, a gym/outside playground, specialty teachers, principal, and weekly news letter.

But other people might. People do all sorts of things. How many babies would you take? I think they non-legal daycare posts here are insane. I think you might have some interest.

amother

Seashell

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 1:29 pm

amother OP wrote:

Try it as long as you don't have to invest a lot and see what happens. See the demand. It might involve setting up cameras so that the mothers are the most comfortable.

Growing up, I had a classmate (and her mother) who loooooved babies and are both big balei chessed. She used to take people's babies overnight. Not newborns IIRC, but she gave the mothers a good rest.

amother

Seashell

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 1:34 pm

You also could likely price it lower than a night nurse (since you get to stay in your own house) and that might appeal to people who really need it but can't afford it.

Although, it's likely really not the healthiest solution. Newborns and mothers are designed to be near each other. It's definitely a big jump down from a night nurse.

Highstrung

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 1:35 pm

Never! If someone would force me to do something like this , I would not be able to sleep from worry and it would defeat the entire purpose of having a night nurse.

Ema of 5

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 1:37 pm

mommy3b2c wrote:

Not if you paid me a billion dollars . If I heard someone did this I’d assume they are a bad person or severely mentally ill. Just being honest.

I wouldn’t assume something negative about the mom, I would just assume there was a reason why it was done.

Ema of 5

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 1:39 pm

TwinsMommy wrote:

ok I'll play devil's advocate. What's my point in getting a night nurse..... so I don't have to care for baby overnight so I can sleep, right? So then why would I care if baby is in my home or the babysitter's home?

I never had a night nurse and part of the package of having babies IS getting up and feeding and diapering them at night in my opinion... but if you're rich enough for overnight help and that's how you want to spend your money, why does it make you evil to drop your baby off elsewhere every night?

Some people get a night nurse but still nurse. So the baby sleeps in a different room and the mom doesn’t wake up from the fussing, but the nurse brings the baby when it’s time to eat.

Blessing1

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 2:06 pm

amother OP wrote:

How can you work all day and then care for newborns all night?

TwinsMommy

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 4:00 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

How can you work all day and then care for newborns all night?

Lots of people are up with their own babies at night and work during the day. You can sleep in between feedings if baby sleeps.

amother

Sand

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 4:10 pm

Much much easier and also very needed OP, is overnight babysitting for toddlers, short term. Ages 1-3 if the parents have a wedding or medical emergency etc.
If you’re in Brooklyn it’s $150 per night, I think.

Blessing1

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 4:27 pm

TwinsMommy wrote:

Lots of people are up with their own babies at night and work during the day. You can sleep in between feedings if baby sleeps.

No one works when they have a fresh newborn. The nights are also way harder then. If an exhausted is taking care of my fresh newborn, that exhausted person should rather be me/DH than a random exhausted lady.

amother

Camellia

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 4:31 pm

amother Smokey wrote:

For all those who say never, how is it different than a kimpeturin home where the baby stays in the nursery all night long?

You can walk to the nursery at any point or ask for the baby to come to you.