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Forum -> Working Women -> Work at Home Mothers
Would you send your baby overnight?
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doodlesmom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 8:29 pm
amother OP wrote:
Ok, I guess I got my answer! I was thinking of offering this service and was curious if people would send out their newborns instead of the night nurse coming to their house.
I wouldn't send my baby either but people are all different, I also never sent my kids out until they were 3, I worked from home. I work in a daycare and lots of babies start at 6-8 weeks


Op why don’t you offer your clients at the daycare that if they need to go away you can babysit overnight in your home.
It’ll be a familiar face for the baby, and they hopefully trust you already.
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meeze




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 8:45 pm
No
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 8:51 pm
My friend sends her baby overnight when she needs a break. Its for her mental health. There are drop in babysitters in boro park that offer night as well. If you trust them by sday should hope u trust them by night. Night is probably easier and less chance of neglect since your baby is prob the only one and will hopefully sleep most of the time.
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 9:00 pm
amother Jean wrote:
Lol yes!

Fully agree.
Whats the difference if you have a night nurse in your home or baby goes out??

Point is to be a better mother.

I know of someone who is having a night nurse for a month.
Im sure there are people who have a night nurse move in for a few weeks or months at a time.

So the dynamics are slightly different this time.
No one should be embaressed about this.


If the point of sending a fresh newborn away for the night is to be a better mother, perhaps they shouldn't have the baby to begin with, that would really make them a better mother.
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 9:04 pm
amother Clear wrote:
This.
A few women from our small community do this as a business and they're busy. A few do want in their own homes. My sister leaves her baby when she goes away with her husband. With an overnight babysitter. I'm surprised you've never heard of it being done. It's very common.
I personally wouldn't leave an older baby to a strangers house, but a newborn? Why ever not?


It seems like OP is talking about a newborn that was literally just born, afew days old. No one goes on vacation and leaves their baby that's afew days old. (Hopefully)
And no, it's NOT very common to leave a newborn to go on vacation. That is just crazy. If it's so common in your community, that's just so sad. It's supposed to be the exception, not the rule.
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 9:24 pm
I would never.

But between that and having a mom crash Mentally it may be the lesser of two evils. Maybe op should offer her service to Bikur Cholim for dire cases. I just don’t know if it would be something you would do for money though,
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 9:25 pm
Blessing1 wrote:
If the point of sending a fresh newborn away for the night is to be a better mother, perhaps they shouldn't have the baby to begin with, that would really make them a better mother.


Nobody plans to have postpartum depression.
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amother
Valerian


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 9:30 pm
I'll be another dissenting voice. I had to send my baby overnight because I needed surgery. It was very difficult to find someone who had experience with newborns to watch a baby overnight.
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amother
Sand


 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 9:32 pm
amother Valerian wrote:
I'll be another dissenting voice. I had to send my baby overnight because I needed surgery. It was very difficult to find someone who had experience with newborns to watch a baby overnight.


Nobody is talking about a medical emergency in this thread! I’ve babysat a couple of my friends newborns (one a few weeks old, one 4 month old) because the mom needed surgery. I would never give my newborn to someone I didn’t know personally!
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Blessing1




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 10:04 pm
amother Dodgerblue wrote:
Nobody plans to have postpartum depression.


But this OP/thread isn't about PPD or medical emergencies. It's about sending a newborn away under normal circumstances.
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giftedmom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 26 2023, 10:07 pm
amother Cerulean wrote:
My friend sends her baby overnight when she needs a break. It’s for her mental health. There are drop in babysitters in boro park that offer night as well. If you trust them by sday should hope u trust them by night. Night is probably easier and less chance of neglect since your baby is prob the only one and will hopefully sleep most of the time.

I’ll echo what others said that not having kids right now would be great for her mental health. Night is a lot more traumatic for a baby.
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Mon, Mar 27 2023, 3:15 am
amother Forsythia wrote:
So she sent her baby over to her cousins house each night? I guess if it works for her …

I bought a snoo and dh woke up with baby at night because I’m at very high risk of ppd (have had it multiple times) but I cannot envision having baby out of the house all night on a regular basis. Occasionally yes, if I’m desperate for a break.


I really relate to this one. I did similar without the Snoo. My husband knows I am very high-risk and sleep really keeps me sane. (I take anti-depressants too, but it's not enough when I'm that hormonal.)

And same. I can't imagine sending my newborn out. I don't doubt there are people that would though, but guessing small minority.
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amother
Jean


 

Post Mon, Mar 27 2023, 4:01 am
amother Rainbow wrote:
Um huge difference. Ive had baby nurses and I can peek into the room any time of night, say I rest from 10-12 get up a drink bathroom or another child the nurse always leaves the door open so I can see my baby. I can hear my baby at all times if I want to ans I have definitely been involved with the nurses on when to feed or soothe or even help out in cases of extreme colic. My priority is my baby I would never rest knowing someone may not be caring for the baby the way I intend. At home even when not on "active duty" I am the mom and the baby is in my control.

Also op, it would be unfair to these newborns if you were caring for them all night while you haven't slept by day, and I would not appreciate having my child in your care at daycare knowing you voluntarily are up multiple times a night. This is the part that's the craziest to me.


When you are in a mother and baby home do people check up on their baby overnight?

I wouldnt.
I need my sleep to be a better mother. Full stop.

Same when Iv had a night nurse in my home.
They are in charge so I can sleep.
That means I trust them fully, otherwise there wouldnt be a point.

I guess everyone is different.
I am connected to my child and I love them as babies and their whole life, of course, but I dont feel the need to do every single feed and check on them every few hours.

What if your baby sleeps the whole night??
Do you still get up to check?

My first child was in the ICU for a week, I went home for shabbos because I just couldnt manage and was falling apart.

Bh I was able to, because I fully trusted the nurses there.
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amother
Jean


 

Post Mon, Mar 27 2023, 4:01 am
amother Seashell wrote:
I really relate to this one. I did similar without the Snoo. My husband knows I am very high-risk and sleep really keeps me sane. (I take anti-depressants too, but it's not enough when I'm that hormonal.)

And same. I can't imagine sending my newborn out. I don't doubt there are people that would though, but guessing small minority.


Whats a snoo?

I havent heard of it.
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Mayflower




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 27 2023, 4:13 am
Another vote for offering this service to parents of your daycare. People do leave toddlers 18+ months for a few nights to go to a simche/short getaway. It's a great service if you can offer to do overnight babysitting then. Especially since the parents know you to trustworthy, and the children know you so it won't be too hard on them.
You might even be able to get a normal night sleep. Makes much more sense IMO then overnight babysitting for newborns.
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Mon, Mar 27 2023, 5:28 am
amother Jean wrote:
When you are in a mother and baby home do people check up on their baby overnight?

I wouldnt.
I need my sleep to be a better mother. Full stop.

Same when Iv had a night nurse in my home.
They are in charge so I can sleep.
That means I trust them fully, otherwise there wouldnt be a point.

I guess everyone is different.
I am connected to my child and I love them as babies and their whole life, of course, but I dont feel the need to do every single feed and check on them every few hours.

What if your baby sleeps the whole night??
Do you still get up to check?

My first child was in the ICU for a week, I went home for shabbos because I just couldnt manage and was falling apart.

Bh I was able to, because I fully trusted the nurses there.


Sure. Plenty of people do. Plenty take a private room so they can room-in with their babies. There are people who go for other reasons than just for the sleep. People go for the food, the company, the LCs etc. Plenty of people sleep better when their babies are next to them.

I personally really don't and a big part of going was to sleep. However, for sure I checked on my baby. I did one feed and one pumped bottle. I went at 2 weeks PP so I had no trouble pumping. If I was up for any reason and couldn't sleep (I can't always sleep PP. Often I'm in pain), I was checking on my baby.
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DREAMING




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 27 2023, 8:10 am
Blessing1 wrote:
Who sends a fresh newborn to a daytime sitter?


This
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Mon, Mar 27 2023, 8:14 am
Mayflower wrote:
Another vote for offering this service to parents of your daycare. People do leave toddlers 18+ months for a few nights to go to a simche/short getaway. It's a great service if you can offer to do overnight babysitting then. Especially since the parents know you to trustworthy, and the children know you so it won't be too hard on them.
You might even be able to get a normal night sleep. Makes much more sense IMO then overnight babysitting for newborns.


Maybe she’s drawn to newborns. I know someone who only babysits newborns (by day, short hours for appointments etc) because she loves the stage. Toddlers are a whole different idea.

Op maybe you can work in a hospital nursery or kimpetutin home.
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amother
Forsythia


 

Post Mon, Mar 27 2023, 8:26 am
amother Jean wrote:
Whats a snoo?

I havent heard of it.
https://www.happiestbaby.com/ It’s a sleep robot.

I also took antidepressants, whatever I can do to prevent ppd, but sending baby out each night just doesn’t feel fair to baby. (I’m talking about preventing ppd. If someone already has ppd then obviously they do what they need to. But hopefully they can find a different solution)
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Mon, Mar 27 2023, 12:47 pm
amother Gray wrote:
It’s amazing how everyone is up in arms about this (I agree btw- how can you drop your baby off at someone’s home with no access or supervision??) but when it comes to playgroups and daytime babysitters everyone is ok with this? Double standard?


I myself never had a nurse no could I afford one, but when I see so many people in the comments hysterical about the question itself, it made me think twice. I unfortunately sent my own kids to a FULL time babysitter at 6 weeks because I (sadly) had to go back to work, but 6 weeks is still very much a newborn and I honestly dont know if there's all that much of a difference. Of course it needs to be someone you know and trust.
But how is this different from the chassidish woman who go to the convalescent homes for 2 weeks? I have 2 coworkers who go and they all say "they barely saw their baby the entire 2 weeks" (because they slept in a nursery and were taken care of so well)- my brother's in laws have a huge house and after his wife has a baby they stay there in a bedroom upstairs while her baby nurse has the baby in the basement 2 floors below, all night long. While these are 2 scenarios that are not exactly the same as the OP is asking, they are not all that different either.
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