I hate being poor | Imamother

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I hate being poor

Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 5:21 pm

I hate not being able to buy toys for my baby. He’s still young enough that a plastic cup is the funnest but soon he will get older and want actual toys.
I hate hearing people talk about vacations, traveling, having a second car, going to a restaurant for a birthday or anniversary, buying new clothes for their kids instead of getting whatever secondhand things you could get from people for free.
I hate people who take their wealth or even ability to pay their bills for granted and don’t realize it’s a gift from above. My husband and I put in all the same work and have nothing.
I hate dreading going to the mailbox because I know I’ll just find bills and debt consolidation offers.
I hate it when people talk about their successful businesses or jobs.
I hate my husband for not finding a job for the past four months since he lost his job.
I hate the current job market for being so hard.
I hate all the employers who have ignored his resume. Most of them have.
I hate the IRS for demanding taxes on money we earned in December and lost in January.
I hate my life.

amother

Ecru

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 5:23 pm

Extremely hard to live like this. I hope one day we can be on the giving end.

amother

Pink

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 5:24 pm

Hugs hugs hugs
I feel your pain

amother

Cherry

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 5:38 pm

You are normal. Very very normal.

But those stacking cups were all my kids favorites. Don't worry about that. And balls are inexpensive and really the only socially acceptable pastime for yeshiva boys. That and bikes but you can get others outgrown bikes.

In all seriousness, it really sucks to be poor. It is a constant stressor.

amother

Vermilion

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 5:42 pm

I feel for you OP its very hard iyH things will get better and you will appreciate the ability to pay the bills one day.

amother

Hydrangea

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 5:51 pm

I feel for you op
I’m going through a really hard time financially
I hope things change for the better soon

amother

Daylily

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 5:57 pm

Sending love 💕

amother

Tealblue

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 7:39 pm

I feel your pain I went through this recently when a relative told me she is looking into buying her 4th house . .. . I can't even afford one house in the city I live in.... I felt so hurt.

amother

Pear

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 8:28 pm

Ranting right along with you op.

And on top of it all I'm sick and tired of wondering if this is mazel or blaming dh for not trying hard enough to provide for us...

And me having to take matters in my own hands and earn a living so that I do not have to feel so deprived and say no to my kids for everything.

Also with age I've learned to yes buy the baby toy and the ball. It wont make it or break it anyway and it makes all of the diff for me...

amother

Midnight

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 9:14 pm

I feel you, we are in a similar situation. Inflation has been hard on everyone.
I am Davening hashem should pay our mortgage this month,
He should keep us all healthy
He should buy us a couch and beds so we don’t need to sit and sleep on the floors
He should buy us regular dining room chairs so we don’t need to sit on rusty old folding chairs
He should send us money to shop for our kids who have not gotten a new wardrobe in the last 2-3 years
He should make sure we have enough to buy groceries for yom tov.
DH and I both work very hard and yet all our income is going for old cc and gemach debts.
Times are hard but I find that talking and relying directly on hashem makes the burden easier. He is the one with the master bank account and he can send us all the parnossah we yearn for in the blink of an eye. He just wants us to ask it from him directly. Talk to him day and night and you will start seeing a diff and feeling better.

amother

Ecru

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 9:19 pm

amother Midnight wrote:

Thank you so much for this Chizzuk on our connection to Hashem. I am really trying to connect and speak and ask. I am just learning how to speak with G-d.

amother

Bluebonnet

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 9:33 pm

amother Midnight wrote:

As I was reading this (also really struggling financially) a WhatsApp post for 12 free dining room chairs popped up on Yad shniya. Located in Lakewood. Hope it can work for you!

amother

Oldlace

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 9:56 pm

Feeling you op
We in a similar boat....been a long time since my dh had a job and I can't work enough to cover our bills.
I'm embarrassed to say BH we have a lot of help from community....credit in stores for food, etc. for the kids we take hand me downs from others, for toys I've bought over the years on eBay second hand (think Duplo etc that can be washed on bathtub), and we make do. kids don't get fancy shoes just supermarket stuff, same with coats etc.
I smile when I hear people talk about what's in style and the frum clothes shop, I wouldn't even be able to afford half an outfit in there.
op a few years ago I made a conscious choice to choose shalom bayis over parnassah . I clearly wasn't getting both and was loosing both. I davened for strength and for the most part forgive my dh for not getting work ( he says he tries and is fab in other areas so ....clearly this is his weakness). I still daven for parnasa but I've learnt to live without
when friends tell me they got a new jewelry for yt or they are painting their home, I try to ignore and count my brochos....BH.cant say it works all the time but it is a habit and take practice
hang in there. Hashem is giving you exactly what you need when you need it.
He's got you even when it doesn't feel like it.
(and on a practical tachlis level, pls take help as and when you need it. iyh one day you will be the giver.)

amother

Midnight

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 10:48 pm

amother Bluebonnet wrote:

As I was reading this (also really struggling financially) a WhatsApp post for 12 free dining room chairs popped up on Yad shniya. Located in Lakewood. Hope it can work for you!

What group is that, can you post a photo of the chairs?

amother

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 10:51 pm

amother Midnight wrote:

What group is that, can you post a photo of the chairs?

https://I.imgur.com/BvqmcaP.jpg

amother

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 10:52 pm

Thank you for all the sympathy and empathy everyone. I really do appreciate it. These hard times better come to an end soon Sad

amother

Lightcoral

Sun, Mar 26 2023, 10:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

You express yourself so well, my heart hurts for you.

My parents were in a similar situation, probably worse. Literally no money for food.
One day my dad was offered a job and he just climbed his way up.
Today you would never believe that this wealthy real estate investor used to be so poor he had an empty refrigerator.

I know this doesn’t happen to everyone but many many people settle financially at one point in their lives. I hope that happens to you too very soon!

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