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Rappel
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 Mon, Mar 27 2023, 11:44 pm
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Frequently. But they don't sleep in my home until I do get to know them
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shaqued_almond
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Mon, Mar 27 2023, 11:49 pm
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I used to until I made some bad experience with people who were essentially homeless and someone who was schizophrenic but in total denial about it. Turns out the people who connected us felt sorry and didn't bother disclosing these problems to us.
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theoneandonly
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Tue, Mar 28 2023, 4:34 am
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We host strangers for meals all the time. We never have sleeping guests (no room, and it makes me uncomfortable.)
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chouli
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Tue, Mar 28 2023, 4:54 am
We have guests we don't know at all for meals all the time. It's great to meet people and to have an open house. We don't let people sleep over. Simply not enough space... We did meet some very strange people but all in all its a pleasure to being able to share yom tov or shabbes with different people.
We are also on shabbat.com which has always been a great experience
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shaqued_almond
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Tue, Mar 28 2023, 1:25 pm
| amother Melon wrote: | To the people who host often-
I’m assuming you have good shalom bayis…
I just can’t see always bringing people into your home if there is tension and discord… |
Sometimes guests can be buffers.
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ruchelbuckle
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Tue, Mar 28 2023, 9:00 pm
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I live near a popular Jewish tourist spot, so in the summer, we get lots of calls and I've definitely hosted strangers for sleeping and eating. When someone calls me about hosting strangers for sleeping, I do confirm that they have been vetted to some degree. For a meal, I dont care as much. I also have absolutely no problem saying no if something sounds strange or if it's too much for me (I'm pretty chilled, so it's hard for guests to be too much for me, but I don't feel any achriyus to twist myself into a pretzel on a Thursday night so someone can have a fun shabbos in our city!).
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Ema of 5
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Tue, Mar 28 2023, 9:07 pm
| Chayalle wrote: | I would if they are sent to me thru someone I know and trust. Otherwise I would not.
I have a sibling who BAH does so much Hachnasas Orchim. She used to have a really open house, until she ended up with a guest who was very uncomfortable to host...she could not rest all Shabbos because she did not find him trustworthy around her kids. After that she changed her policy. References are important in the world we live in. |
I was asked to host someone once, and the person asking was a friend, so I assumed she knew the person she was asking for. Well, it turns out she was….let’s just say a real piece of work. We hosted her for the two sedarim, and BH she bounced the second Yom tov was over. I drove her to the train, and she couldn’t even be bothered to close my car door.
BH we have an open house, but we rarely have random people just walking in. Usually if someone we know comes, they come with someone we do know.
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giftedmom
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Tue, Mar 28 2023, 9:11 pm
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Occasionally for meals. For sleeping not. In general non-related males only sleep downstairs two floors down from the kids bedrooms.
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giftedmom
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Tue, Mar 28 2023, 9:25 pm
| amother Hawthorn wrote: | | If it’s not a locked basement it doesn’t matter how many floors apart they are |
Ofcourse it does. There is literally zero reason for them to come up to that floor.
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giftedmom
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Tue, Mar 28 2023, 9:37 pm
| amother Hawthorn wrote: | | How hard is it for them to come upstairs and perv around when you’re all sleeping? |
A lot harder than if their bedroom was right next door
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613mitzvahgirl
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Tue, Mar 28 2023, 10:31 pm
This just happened tonight to us.. my husbands friend called and asked if we can host someone he doesn’t know but heard he’s a great person with great midos.. I asked him his name so I can ask about him.. it wasn’t a common name in the frum community.. I asked around, ppl said he sounds familiar.. I decided to google it to to see why his name sounded familiar.. story is he was arrested for drugs a few years ago.. and I made sure the spelling was the same.. I know you aren’t supposed to believe everything you hear which we don’t.. I just want to keep my family safe.. so I told my husbands friend I’m so sorry but I don’t know him and nobody knows him.. BhBh my husbands friend understood..
what would you do??
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