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Seating by weddings
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Mar 27 2023, 11:20 pm
I sooo don’t get people. I understand that there are rarely placecards for people to know where to sit by simchas. Many times there’s frames or plaques that says for example Klein family table 2 kallahs friends table 10….. I’ve been to a bunch of simchas lately that doesn’t even have that or signs on the table. Where in the world should people sit
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 27 2023, 11:26 pm
They figure it out! They look around for someone familiar to them or not… and sit down. It usually works out
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 27 2023, 11:30 pm
I suggest sitting on a chair. On the table itself would be too uncomfortable/jk
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 3:18 am
amother OP wrote:
I sooo don’t get people. I understand that there are rarely placecards for people to know where to sit by simchas. Many times there’s frames or plaques that says for example Klein family table 2 kallahs friends table 10….. I’ve been to a bunch of simchas lately that doesn’t even have that or signs on the table. Where in the world should people sit

The point of not having any place cards or anything to designate tables is exactly that, that everyone can just sit wherever they want to sit. Its not a big deal. Just sit wherever you want.
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amother
Canary


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 4:07 am
It's fine when there are enough seats and people know each other well enough to just plop down wherever. If there aren't enough seats, or you have guests who are only willing to sit with people they already know (and/or aren't friendly if a lone guest seats herself with a bunch of sisters who only want to talk to each other) then you put people in an uncomfortable situation.

Yes, it's more work for the hosts to do place settings, but it is nicer for the guests.
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amother
Lightblue


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 7:39 am
I think its good at this point in time to have the plaques out or a poster board in the hallway. It helps guests feel comfortable, especially the older people who are used to name cards, or the few guests who don't know anyone else at the simcha.

But if there isn't I am pretty sure people gravitate towards breaking into groups like that anyway.
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kenz




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 8:45 am
These days many if not most people don’t bother to send back the response cards, so it’s virtually impossible for hosts to make placecards unless they’re going to start calling every single person they invited, as was done years ago. That’s the main reason people stopped putting out placecards, I believe, not due to laziness.
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little neshamala




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 8:50 am
I hate placecard seating, as a guest. Its so uncomfortable for me when I see someone at a different table that I'd rather go shmooze with but cant, and the table im at only has 3 random women sitting at it so far and the rest is empty, and I see peiple that I know other places but I cant switch tables because that deels too awkward! Lol! I love not having placecards
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amother
Bluebonnet


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 9:22 am
This must be a charedi problem. We have mishpacha spanning the spectrum from Conservadox or dati lite to Lubavitch, and they all use placecards except the ones in Israel. The only US simcha I attended that lacked place cards was in Williamsburg, a Satmar business associate of dh.
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amother
Tomato


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 9:28 am
kenz wrote:
These days many if not most people don’t bother to send back the response cards, so it’s virtually impossible for hosts to make placecards unless they’re going to start calling every single person they invited, as was done years ago. That’s the main reason people stopped putting out placecards, I believe, not due to laziness.


I agree with this.

For the person who asked where this is. I live in Lakewood, regular yeshivish, and have not seen placecards for years at weddings for locals. When out of townerd make weddings here t hey do use place cards.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 9:33 am
I havent seen place cards in at least 2 decades.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 9:38 am
amother Tomato wrote:
I agree with this.

For the person who asked where this is. I live in Lakewood, regular yeshivish, and have not seen placecards for years at weddings for locals. When out of townerd make weddings here t hey do use place cards.


We must move in different circles. I have definitely seen placecards, even more recently. And for sure, plaques that say where you should sit depending if you are Chassan's side, Kallah's side, friend, etc....
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amother
Amethyst


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 9:44 am
amother OP wrote:
I sooo don’t get people. I understand that there are rarely placecards for people to know where to sit by simchas. Many times there’s frames or plaques that says for example Klein family table 2 kallahs friends table 10….. I’ve been to a bunch of simchas lately that doesn’t even have that or signs on the table. Where in the world should people sit


Most wedding I go to don’t have signs we sit where there’s empty places. And we sometimes mingle with the other side also not so hard or difficult. If I’m family I go to a family table if I’m a friend I make sure it’s not a family table that’s all easy as pue
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doodlesmom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 7:02 pm
Sometimes the plaques are terrible.
If all friend tables are full and a family table is empty, but it’s not polite to go there since it’s for family….
I was once asked to get up by the mechatunim, because I was sitting at the wrong table with a frame ( it was a whole table full and we had missed the frame…). We politely said that we will get up when she shows us where to sit instead. But no, they made us stand the rest of the meal…
Super awkward! And ridiculous.
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amother
Blue


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 7:20 pm
Chayalle wrote:
We must move in different circles. I have definitely seen placecards, even more recently. And for sure, plaques that say where you should sit depending if you are Chassan's side, Kallah's side, friend, etc....


I was thinking of doing plaques for my daughter’s wedding. My mechutanim didn’t actually care and it would have all been on my head. I chose to just let it be. People who wanted to sit together ended up sitting together anyway. Chassidish- but Toms River chassidish.
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 7:24 pm
May I please sit with whom I want to talk to?
May I please sit with whom I’m comfortable with?
May I please not have to sit or deal with people I can’t deal with?
May I please sit with a freind I haven’t seen in ages?
May I please sit with someone from the other side whom I have more in common with?
May I please sit far far away from the sound system?
I made an effort to come, please let me enjoy the simcha.
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doodlesmom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 7:35 pm
amother Powderblue wrote:
May I please sit with whom I want to talk to?
May I please sit with whom I’m comfortable with?
May I please not have to sit or deal with people I can’t deal with?
May I please sit with a freind I haven’t seen in ages?
May I please sit with someone from the other side whom I have more in common with?
May I please sit far far away from the sound system?
I made an effort to come, please let me enjoy the simcha.


Funny my European mil gets so overwhelmed if she isn’t spoon fed a seat.
Then again, if someone sits her at a table she doesn’t feel she should be at…it’s super insulting…

I know of serious feuds happening because the kallahs side forgot to mail someone a dinner card from the chossons side in error…
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kenz




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 9:58 pm
Chayalle wrote:
We must move in different circles. I have definitely seen placecards, even more recently. And for sure, plaques that say where you should sit depending if you are Chassan's side, Kallah's side, friend, etc....


Definitely plaques/picture frames - that's almost always the case lately. But individual cards, very rarely. As a PP said, it's primarily a chareidi thing, everyone else does use placecards fairly often I believe.
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amother
Mimosa


 

Post Tue, Mar 28 2023, 10:02 pm
I think it’s smart to do plaques on each table saying “Klein family” etc that way you don’t end up with tables where half is Klein and half is schwartz and another table exactly like that.
When I finally do go to a wedding I’d like to shmooze with my sisters in law!
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twizzlers1




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 29 2023, 1:25 am
I really do not enjoy when there are placesettings. What if I’m sitting at the table and all my other friends are sitting in another one? Yes it has happened and it’s so uncomfortable you feel like you were an afterthought. I love going somewhere where I can just sit down and meet new people. I’m not super social that sitting next to one person is always nice
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