Colleen Hoover Help

amother

Tue, Mar 28 2023, 12:13 am

I have an 18 year old daughter who only likes to read "romance" books. I don't read those books at all so I'm pretty ignorant when it comes to this genre. As we are going into a 3 day yom tov, and she has some mental health issues, I would like for her to have some books to read. She recently bought herself a Colleen Hoover book that she left lying around ( I don't remember the title). I flipped through it and was quite disturbed at how graphic the s-x scenes were in addition to what seemed like an portrayal of a very unhealthy (abusive?)relationship. I know Colleen Hoover has written many novels, are there any that may be less explicit and disturbing?Any recommendations are very welcome please

CPenzias

Tue, Mar 28 2023, 1:46 am

I'm reading the slammed series by her. It seems to be kosher-ish. I'm on the 3rd book. It's a 3 book series. It's about a 21 year old and an 18 year old falling in love. 21 year old lost his parents and is raising his younger brother. The 18 year old recently lost her father. Then mom passed away and she ended up having to raise her younger brother. They're neighbors and both brothers are good friends. They fall in love and get married. It's called slammed because the boy is into poetry slams. (I totally spoiled a lot so don't tell your daughter lol) book#1 is called slammed #2 point of retreat and #3 this girl. Happy reading!

amother

Tue, Mar 28 2023, 2:02 am

Thank you so much CPenzias! Sounds like a good recommendation. Just to clarify, I don't need it to be "kosher" ie can have some s-x scenes, but would like it be a portrayal of healthy-ish relationships as opposed to objectifying or abusive ones

amother

Clear

Tue, Mar 28 2023, 6:55 am

amother OP wrote:

Sounds like she was reading “Verity”
Which is probably her most explicit (and scary) book. I wouldn’t allow a teenager to read that mostly because the sx scenes are insanely graphic
There are other ones by her that are less intense, maybe try “regretting you”

amother

Coffee

Tue, Mar 28 2023, 7:18 am

My non Jewish coworker in her 20s, who knows nothing about my sensitivities towards clean books, recommended Colleen Hoover to me.
She then gave a warning that it contains very hot romance.
I’ve read a few. I would really not be comfortable if my daughter read it. I would even be embarrassed for my kids to know that I read this.
But she is an amazing author and story teller and it’s hard to put her books down once you start.
“It Ends With Us” contains abuse.

amother

Currant

Tue, Mar 28 2023, 7:40 am

If your daughter wants recommendations of clean romance, there are plenty of older books. Authors to check out: Marion Chesney, Mary Stewart, Victoria Holt, Phyllis Whitney are just a few. Plus lots of mysteries with romantic elements like Agatha Christie or Helen MacInnes
But realistically, your daughter is 18, not a kid, and she's going to make her own choices of reading material.

watergirl

Tue, Mar 28 2023, 8:12 am

amother OP wrote:

Colleen Hoover has YA and adult novels (I've read all of her adult novels). The YA ones seem to be more clean than the adult books, but she should NOT read the adult books. Aside from the "spicy" scenes (a lot), she writes a genre known as "trauma prn", and the women in her books are usually extremely objectified and in abusive relationships. There is a book specifically called "It Ends With Us" - stay away from that and the others in that series. She is not the author who is going to write about healthy and loving relationships.

Go onto Goodreads to read what each of these books are about. She has a huge following and her books are easy to google.

mikayla18

Tue, Mar 28 2023, 8:18 am

November 9 is very cute
Ugly love ❤️
Confess
Hopeless
Dreamland
I also recommend Sara Dessen
Once and For All 😍
Along for the Ride
Basically everything else too Wink

All very cute and interconnected in cute ways
I believe I read heart bones and without merit but don't recall if they're apropos or not

All very cute and pretty innocent (by what op is requesting)

amother

Seagreen

Tue, Mar 28 2023, 9:27 am

I think it’s really nice that you’re trying to get her some books for pesach that she will enjoy! Just keep in mind that at this age you have very limited control over what she reads. I’m not sure what type of personality she has, but If she realizes that you’re trying to be sneaky she might rebel and it’ll backfire.
If she’s open to discussing things with you, I would have an open conversation about why you think those books are better than the other book. And possibly sit down and research some titles together with her.
I love Colleen Hoover books too.

SuperWify

Tue, Mar 28 2023, 10:12 am

I read November 9 and I was so disturbed. It basically teaches you to forgive someone who destroys your life and lies to you for years all on the name of (unhealthy) love… not a fan. It turned me off from trying his other books.

icedcoffee

Tue, Mar 28 2023, 10:41 am

I really didn't like November 9 either, I thought the relationship was super problematic.

I agree with watergirl that her books are entertaining but she doesn't have the best track record of showing healthy, strong relationships. Off the top of my head, I think Reminders of Him and Regretting You are pretty good as far as not-toxic relationships and not too much explicit content. The relationship in Ugly Love might be okay too if I remember correctly but it was veryy heavy and upsetting (spoiler - it involves the traumatic death of a newborn baby, do not recommend reading it while pregnant like I did!)

amother

Fern

Tue, Mar 28 2023, 10:58 am

I don't think so
I absolutely love her books and got one to read over yt, I hide it from my kids

I really really don't think a 18 year old should be exposed to these ideas
I'm frum/modern type for reference

amother

Currant

Tue, Mar 28 2023, 12:00 pm

amother Fern wrote:

1. At 18, she's not a kid.
2. Sounds like she gets her own reading material independently, she's not getting from her mom.

watergirl

Tue, Mar 28 2023, 12:03 pm

amother Currant wrote:

1. At 18, she's not a kid.
2. Sounds like she gets her own reading material independently, she's not getting from her mom.

FWIW, there is a huge amount of non-frum women, grown adults and 18 year olds who are so anti CoHo because of her trauma-Prn style. This is pretty low-bar literature and OP is far from alone in her preference for other kinds of stuff, not this.

watergirl

Tue, Mar 28 2023, 12:03 pm

icedcoffee wrote:

I need to google, but I'm pretty sure these are her YA books.

amother

Currant

Tue, Mar 28 2023, 12:08 pm

watergirl wrote:

I'm not debating if it's good to read or not. I have my own lines/bar set and I don't personally read these books. I'm just saying, this girl is not a kid that her mom can hide books from or expect to oversee her reading material to approve.
She is old and independent enough that she gets her own books and decides what to read. I think some of the posts above are coming from posters who either don't yet have daughters of that age, and/or who have daughters that are the obedient toe the line type, that are ok with their mother choosing or approving their reading material. Realistically if this is what op's daughter wants to read, 1) she's already been exposed to this sort of material 2) she can obtain the books and continue to read them.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Mar 28 2023, 12:15 pm

amother Currant wrote:

1. At 18, she's not a kid.
2. Sounds like she gets her own reading material independently, she's not getting from her mom.

I’m in my 40s. I wouldn’t have felt comfortable reading such material even as a married woman in my 20s. I think we are naturally more sensitive when we are younger and as we go through challenges of life we toughen up and unfortunately become more desensitized (including s-xually) , so 18 means nothing. It’s still a young innocent woman .

amother

Valerian

Tue, Mar 28 2023, 12:19 pm

As someone who reads a lot of books, I wasn't that impressed by colleen hoover. As you said op, they're not teaching healthy relationships.
If you're looking for adult romance books with better relationships, try Nora Roberts. There are usually some sx scenes but the books are well written and great. I didn't like her thriller books mid to late 2000s as they were a little too detailed with violence and killers but her older books and her newer books are great.
There's so many other great romance writers out there that I would recommend she tries some other authors. Authors like Debbie Macomber, Sherryl Woods, Robyn Carr have all written nice sweet series (Debbie Macomber is really clean as well with no explicit scenes). [To add to reading Sherryl Woods has tv series of 2 sets -sweet magnolias and Chesapeake shores, Debbie Macomber's cedar cove and Robyn Carr has a tv series of her virgin river series]

CPenzias

Tue, Mar 28 2023, 12:32 pm

Op, the slammed series doesn't portray an unhealthy relationship. They're 2 young kids who fall in love. It's sweet. It reminds me a tiny bit of myself only in the sense that I got married at 19. My husband was a month shy of 21. It wasn't a shidduch. No one set us up. I married my brothers best friend ❤️ (I asked him if it was ok for us to go out and he said yes)