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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
Info on Kesher Nafshi
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 02 2023, 11:57 pm
Everyone's problem is unique, even though there may be similarities.

Unless you meet with someone with experience in dealing with difficult situations, how do you get the advice you need for your situation?

Does Kesher Nafshi charge a fee?

Do they counsel parents of older (upper 20s, 30) smart but troubled girls?

How does this organization compare to Avi Fishoff's TP (Twisted Parenting)?

Thanks.
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amother
Lightyellow


 

Post Mon, Apr 03 2023, 5:51 am
Free and I believe its free to meet with R Gedalye Miller. He sees couples only afaik. Good luck!
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amother
Starflower


 

Post Mon, Apr 03 2023, 10:33 am
amother OP wrote:
Everyone's problem is unique, even though there may be similarities.

Unless you meet with someone with experience in dealing with difficult situations, how do you get the advice you need for your situation?

Does Kesher Nafshi charge a fee?

Do they counsel parents of older (upper 20s, 30) smart but troubled girls?

How does this organization compare to Avi Fishoff's TP (Twisted Parenting)?

Thanks.


I don't know much about kesher nafshi.

But if your child is already an adult, counseling can only help you figure out how to have a good relationship with your child. The time for being able to shape or guide or control them is over.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 09 2023, 11:32 am
If the Fishoff "Never say no" approach and "be as loving as possible", didnt accomplish much over many years of trying, how is Kesher Nafshi's advice different?
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amother
Catmint


 

Post Sun, Apr 09 2023, 11:47 am
I have a struggling teen and while I didn't join kesher nafshi, I was once at a speech that Gedaliah Miller gave. If I remember correctly, he also had a struggling adult child. I believe he uses parts of Avi Fishoff's approach but he has some different twists.

The person I follow believes in showing them a lot of love but that they crave proper boundaries. He recommends picking your battles, don't forbid something if you know your child won't listen and it will turn into a fight. Obviously things are very different with an adult child. But the main thing is to show them you love and respect them and that nothing they do can ever change that.

I think Kesher Nafshi can be a very good resource for you in dealing with an adult child. Hatzlocha. I know how painful this is.
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amother
Starflower


 

Post Sun, Apr 09 2023, 11:48 am
amother OP wrote:
If the Fishoff "Never say no" approach and "be as loving as possible", didnt accomplish much over many years of trying, how is Kesher Nafshi's advice different?


Depends on what you're trying to accomplish.

If you're trying to make your child more frum, probably not much anyone can do once they're an adult.

If your goal is to have a healthy relationship, then maybe these organizations can help.
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amother
NeonOrange


 

Post Sun, Apr 09 2023, 11:49 am
amother OP wrote:
If the Fishoff "Never say no" approach and "be as loving as possible", didnt accomplish much over many years of trying, how is Kesher Nafshi's advice different?


People don’t like his approach ruins the rest of the home kesher nafshi have been very successful and I know many who benefited
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amother
Catmint


 

Post Sun, Apr 09 2023, 11:58 am
amother OP wrote:
If the Fishoff "Never say no" approach and "be as loving as possible", didnt accomplish much over many years of trying, how is Kesher Nafshi's advice different?


I think one big difference is that they don't believe in "never say no" although they do believe in "be as loving as possible". It can be very hard to be so loving to such a child and that's why you need the proper hadracha.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 09 2023, 11:59 am
amother Starflower wrote:
Depends on what you're trying to accomplish.

If you're trying to make your child more frum, probably not much anyone can do once they're an adult.

If your goal is to have a healthy relationship, then maybe these organizations can help.


We gave up on frum, were looking for "functional", meaning doing day to day responsibility (anything but eating sleeping and being on the PC.

We have a very healthy loving relationship as long as we dont ask adult child to do anything, and are willing to have a non-functional adult living with us. Years of us implementing the be nice approach and dreaming and hoping, hasnt changed that. It left the now adult child HAPPY but totally dependent.
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amother
NeonOrange


 

Post Sun, Apr 09 2023, 12:02 pm
amother OP wrote:
We gave up on frum, were looking for "functional", meaning doing day to day responsibility (anything but eating sleeping and being on the PC.

We have a very healthy loving relationship as long as we dont ask adult child to do anything, and are willing to have a non-functional adult living with us. Years of us implementing the be nice approach and dreaming and hoping, hasnt changed that. It left the now adult child HAPPY but totally dependent.



Kesher nafshi might be for you speak to Gedalya Miller
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 09 2023, 9:34 pm
amother NeonOrange wrote:
Kesher nafshi might be for you speak to Gedalya Miller


Thanks.

I emailed Ksher Nafshi with a summary of our story, and my contact info. I hope Ill hear back.
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amother
NeonOrange


 

Post Sun, Apr 09 2023, 9:36 pm
amother OP wrote:
Thanks.

I emailed Ksher Nafshi with a summary of our story, and my contact info. I hope Ill hear back.


You will but doubt before yom tov is over
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 09 2023, 9:36 pm
OP ere.

If anyone can shed light on how theyre different than Fishoff, Id love to here.

I think Fishoff does everything with a full heart, but for this adult child his advice didnt bring results.

This child never took drugs or alcohol, theyre just not frum and doing nothing with theor life. so were less nervous to try another approach.
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Sun, Apr 09 2023, 10:14 pm
Op is your child depressed? Not wanting to do anything at all seems like there might be slight depression or severe vitamin deficiency
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Apr 10 2023, 12:23 am
amother Dodgerblue wrote:
Op is your child depressed? Not wanting to do anything at all seems like there might be slight depression or severe vitamin deficiency


Social issues mostly, according to psychologists.
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amother
Gold


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 9:51 am
Has kesher nafshi responded, op?
Wondering what to expect if I reach out to them.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:32 pm
amother Gold wrote:
Has kesher nafshi responded, op?
Wondering what to expect if I reach out to them.


No answer. I just checked.
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amother
Gold


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:46 pm
amother OP wrote:
No answer. I just checked.


Ohh… 😕
I just emailed them. I was hoping they could help.
Maybe they prefer a phone call. Does anyone know?
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amother
Moonstone


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 7:30 pm
Would you try calling or emailing again? Your email might've gotten overlooked in the busy erev yom tov season.

I'm part of KN. Approach is all about accepting your child and working just on your relationship with them. Not reprimanding or trying to change them... The speeches are so informative and really gave me a new perspective on the entire situation.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 7:58 pm
OK, I called KN because someone told me they definitely can help.

Can anyone tell me how long it usually takes to hear back after a phone call?
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