Extra curricular activities when you can’t afford it

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Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

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amother

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 8:00 am

All depends on your circumstances, but what do you do?
Do you say you can’t afford it, so no?
Do you borrow, beg, ~~steal~~?
Would you ask for a discount while giving a sob story?
This includes after school, camp, or any type of extra curricular activity.
What do you do? Please explain.

amother

Papayawhip

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 8:08 am

We don't do what we can't afford.
I just tell the children, it's not going to work out and then try and plan something fun and exciting that's not expensive.
For a while I did an after school baking club in my house so my kids could feel they had a club without me paying for it.

Having said that, clubs are different from camp. It's important that they fill their summer with something positive so it would be a big goal for me to find them something to do with friends. Not everyone goes. If you look hard enough there's always an alternative. If I felt it was 100% necessity, I would ask for a discount and although I never, ever ask for help, if I felt it was a necessity for the kids sake, I would ask family if they could help out. Swallow my pride for my kids sake.

NB It has only happened once.

amother

Burntblack

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 8:10 am

After school extra curriculars- I find a few cheap options and let them pick 1 of them.

Camp- I'm a teacher and have summers off, so I either do camp mommy, work in camp for free tuition etc.

amother

Poppy

Thu, Apr 27 2023, 3:13 pm

When we didn't have enough money, we didn't do extracurricular activities. Eventually we started doing very cheap ones through my town and after that some more expensive ones. We also did very very inexpensive swimming lessons through my town pool because everyone must learn to swim.

amother

Bergamot

Thu, Apr 27 2023, 3:17 pm

We do camp for kids.
I can bh afford extra curricular but my neighborhood has been great with organizing round robins. This entire school year we had a two hour round robin Sunday mornings for girls. Every week at a different house. Do wtvr you want with them. The girls LOVE it.
We also had one for night activity last summer and iyh looking to do it again.

Only cost us what activities we did. About 10-12 girls per group.
You can do wtvr you want.

amother

Celeste

Thu, Apr 27 2023, 3:35 pm

I don’t believe in extra curriculars. Between long days at school (gets home after 5) and camp, the evenings are short and rushed. Sundays is for family time or errands. School provides gym and art and computers. I think kids need time for free and imaginative play, for downtime. Plus, who can afford it? Not me

amother

Springgreen

Thu, Apr 27 2023, 3:41 pm

One kid wanted sleep away camp which we really can't afford. She earned it by cleaning the house every Friday for a few months and we cancelled the cleaning lady.
Other kids go to day camp, I provide the camp with free services of my profession in exchange for free camp.

flowerpower

Thu, Apr 27 2023, 3:42 pm

Camp- for the girls we do a half a summer.
Extra curricular- we just don’t do it. I do it with them- baking, art, planting, etc

amother

Ballota

Thu, Apr 27 2023, 3:42 pm

Some of us don't have the money OR the time. Not being able to afford extracurriculars doesn't automatically mean that I have time to make baking clubs in my home or arrange get-togethers on Sunday.

amother

Oldlace

Thu, Apr 27 2023, 3:50 pm

amother Springgreen wrote:

Poor kid. She was an underaged domestic help???

amother

Tan

Thu, Apr 27 2023, 3:53 pm

amother Springgreen wrote:

How old is this child?

amother

Springgreen

Thu, Apr 27 2023, 3:55 pm

amother Oldlace wrote:

Poor kid. She was an underaged domestic help???

This was her own initiative and it works for her. I felt bad that she wanted it so much, that I allowed her to try it. Don't worry, I do most of the work, A 13 year old can't really do what my cleaning lady does. But it was a good lesson for life, she sees how hard we work for our money and appreciates it more.

amother

Green

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 12:44 pm

amother Springgreen wrote:

I'm amazed that you did this!
sounds like alot of the work fell on you!
and you were willing to risk your help not coming back?

amother

Springgreen

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 4:14 pm

amother Green wrote:

I'm amazed that you did this!
sounds like alot of the work fell on you!
and you were willing to risk your help not coming back?

Some of the crazy things we moms do.

As a kid I went to Sleepaway camp every summer and really wanted dd to get the experience...

amother

Eggshell

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 4:20 pm

We were told that we may use maaser to pay for camp.

amother

Springgreen

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 4:21 pm

amother Eggshell wrote:

We were told that we may use maaser to pay for camp.

Never heard of that! Will look into this thanks!

groisamomma

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 4:23 pm

amother Springgreen wrote:

I could have written this word for word. A few years ago, DD was 13 at the time and she wanted a ridiculously overpriced piece of jewelry. (Not as much as camp costs but still several hundred dollars we couldn't afford.) I asked her how she plans to pay for it and she chose to do the housework. I canceled the cleaning lady and she picked up the slack twice a week until she had enough money. I paid her more than the cleaning lady (IIRC $20/hr) and I did the dirty work like toilets but she did linen changes, dishes, kitchen floors, etc.

She watches that jewelry like a hawk since she worked her tail off to buy it Very Happy

.

ETA re: extra-curriculars, we didn't send when there wasn't enough money. My kids didn't lose out when they were younger. Sundays they played at home or had friends over. Now that they're older, I consider singing lessons or music lessons for a struggling child a necessity, not a luxury, so we find a way to make it work. Therapy is a LOT more expensive.

amother

Crocus

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 5:02 pm

amother Oldlace wrote:

Poor kid. She was an underaged domestic help???

Lucky kid! She learned the value of hard work and she learned that honest labor isn't beneath us, it's a respectable way to earn money. And I'm sure she will never look down on domestic help like they're pitiful nebachs, as some women do.

groisamomma

Sun, Apr 30 2023, 5:05 pm

amother Crocus wrote:

...or manipulate their pay in the neighborhood so they can't make a decent living wage...

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