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Forum -> Children's Health
8 y/o not toilet trained
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:12 pm
My 8 y/o just refuses to be toilet trained. She has accidents constantly (multiple per day many times) and I'm at the end of my rope.

We've tried urologist, GI, behavioral therapist, OT, medications, bribes, threats and nothing seems to work for too long.

Maybe someone has the secret answer because I've given up Crying
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BrisketBoss




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:18 pm
Stupid question: but are you absolutely positive she's not constipated? Sounds like a medical issue and that's a very common onr
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:21 pm
BrisketBoss wrote:
Stupid question: but are you absolutely positive she's not constipated? Sounds like a medical issue and that's a very common onr


Yes we spent a year by the GI and multiple xrays and no sign of constipation ever.
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amother
NeonOrange


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:22 pm
Does she have other difficulties?
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:25 pm
amother NeonOrange wrote:
Does she have other difficulties?


I'm not sure what you mean? Other than this issue she is a pretty typical 8 year old.
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amother
NeonOrange


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:26 pm
I dealt with this but she has issues in other areas. She spaces out and loses track of things so it goes together. She also has low muscle tone. Taking her off sugar actually helped, as soon as she ate candy, drank juice etc.. she instantly had an accident. Eventually she got better with age.
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amother
Ballota


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:26 pm
Possible causes to explore
Weak pelvic floor
Chronic strep
Allergies
Gluten intolerance
Dairy intolerance
Retained reflexes
Tongue tie/ underdeveloped jaw
Mouth breathing
Blood sugar
Vassopressin deficiency
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amother
Azalea


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:27 pm
Innatentive adhd?
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:28 pm
amother NeonOrange wrote:
I dealt with this but she has issues in other areas. She spaces out and loses track of things so it goes together. She also has low muscle tone. Taking her off sugar actually helped, as soon as she ate candy, drank juice etc.. she instantly had an accident. Eventually she got better with age.


Interesting. She is a bit spacey. Do you think the accidents are connected to the spiciness or the sugar? Or both? Did going off sugar help all her symptoms or just the accidents?

When you say she got better with age was she completely better or slight improvement? I need some hope to hold onto!
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:30 pm
amother Ballota wrote:
Possible causes to explore
Weak pelvic floor
Chronic strep
Allergies
Gluten intolerance
Dairy intolerance
Retained reflexes
Tongue tie/ underdeveloped jaw
Mouth breathing
Blood sugar
Vassopressin deficiency


Thank you for this. You seem very knowledgeable. I can't believe I'm about to ask this as I usually get frustrated at people that ask someone to do the work for them but honestly I can't deal with this anymore. If you could be so kind and briefly tell me how I would look into these issues. I don't have the stamina to deal with trying something for 6 months to see if it helps or not. We are way past that point.
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amother
Daffodil


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:30 pm
I would try a pelvic floor physical therapist. It could be a low muscle tone and she can't hold it in
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amother
Lily


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:32 pm
Have you ever considered her officially trained and then regressed? Or has she never been able to stay dry? How is she doing she in school?
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amother
Foxglove


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:34 pm
This is usually an emotional issue rather. I would go play therapy route.
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amother
Ballota


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:36 pm
amother OP wrote:
Thank you for this. You seem very knowledgeable. I can't believe I'm about to ask this as I usually get frustrated at people that ask someone to do the work for them but honestly I can't deal with this anymore. If you could be so kind and briefly tell me how I would look into these issues. I don't have the stamina to deal with trying something for 6 months to see if it helps or not. We are way past that point.
Unfortunately none of these are easily ruled in or out , nor easily remedied.
There are ways to look out for clues though. And see what resonates most.
Is she a mouth breather?
Does she have other developmental or behavioral issues?
Any indications she might have food intolerances?
Fine or gross motor skills indicating weak core or weak pelvic floor?
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amother
NeonOrange


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:36 pm
amother OP wrote:
Interesting. She is a bit spacey. Do you think the accidents are connected to the spiciness or the sugar? Or both? Did going off sugar help all her symptoms or just the accidents?

When you say she got better with age was she completely better or slight improvement? I need some hope to hold onto!


On sugar she had no control it was non stop accidents. Off sugar it was a matter of training her to listen to her body’s cues and not think she had infinite amount of time it can be pushed off.
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amother
Mint


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:38 pm
my 8 year old was also really struggling this year. it was bad. school was on our case... in her case there WERE urology and colorectal issues but she was on meds and still having issues. ended up taking her to a pelvic floor pt. we didn't see improvement until she did the biofeedback to "relax" a pt told me that often more then weakness its due to not relaxing fully. she still had an accident recently when laughing hard but so much better then before when she could have two accidents in one day...

you said she went to ot- does that mean they dealt with "awareness"- some kids don't pay attention to their bodily cues until its late...my dd struggled with that as well.
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amother
Apple


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:38 pm
There is hope BH. DC is now going through puberty and is finally mostly toilet trained. I’m fairly confident it’s the puberty that did it. Nothing else helped.
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amother
Crimson


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:40 pm
amother OP wrote:
I'm not sure what you mean? Other than this issue she is a pretty typical 8 year old.


How does she manage this issue in school?
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:45 pm
amother Crimson wrote:
How does she manage this issue in school?


She doesn't. Some days she comes home wet, some days dry. It seems totally random to me.
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amother
Bergamot


 

Post Sun, Apr 30 2023, 6:48 pm
amother OP wrote:
She doesn't. Some days she comes home wet, some days dry. It seems totally random to me.


I really think you should do a full colon cleanout and see if it's better, and if it is you'll know it's encorpesis. She may be constipated even though it's not showing up.

We are dealing with this. Where are you located?
We are working on food intolerances now to see if that's the cause of constant issues.
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