Sleep training help

amother

Fri, May 05 2023, 10:08 am

My two year old is finally being sleep trained as he was sick a lot before and I couldn’t do it. He’s still nursing…. I started the process and bh he’s going to sleep nicely and sleeping till around 12:30/1 but then needs a full nursing like he’s so hungry, but then I put him back in crib and he screams I wait a little and go back in and lay him down… this can go on for 30-45 min… then he’s back up again 4/5 screaming…. So I do the same thing again, but he shrieks. It’s already two weeks of the sleep training and he’s got so much better but I feel like I’m stuck where he completely wakes up and just screams…. I feel terrible it wasn’t like this with my other kids, they may cry a little but then falls back asleep, this kid I feel like I don’t know what to do . Any ideas of someone that I can pay to guide me… not so pricey , or any guidance on how to help the process move toward

amother

Wine

Fri, May 05 2023, 10:16 am

2 years is way too old to sleep train, you've basically missed the boat. But if you want to get him to sleep better, the first step would be is to stop nursing. Completely wean by day & night. Then, if he wakes at night, don't take him out of bed. Go to him, offer him a drink of water, comfort him without taking him out of bed. Be consistent and firm, and hopefully he'll do better within afew days-a week.

amother

Wallflower

Fri, May 05 2023, 10:27 am

I sleep trained most of mine between 18 months and 2. It can work and I don't think you have to stop nursing. A 2yr old is often old enough to talk to and explain what's going on, what to expect.

icedcoffee

Fri, May 05 2023, 10:35 am

I don't think there's any reason you can't sleep train at 2. Really, all you're doing is reassuring him that he doesn't need you to get back to sleep and he can do it himself. The main thing is just being consistent. When he starts crying, I would go in there with him and reassure him that you're there, you love him, but he can do this. Offering water is good. If he had a full feed at 12:30 you can rest assured it's not real hunger that's the issue, he just doesn't know what to do yet when he wakes up. Hence the training. Good luck! It's so hard, but it's great that in 2 weeks he's made progress. That's a great sign.

Another option if you have a DH who is willing, is to have him go in there instead of you. I found with my son, that removed the element of "why is mommy here but not nursing me??" It might be worth experimenting at least a few days or so.

amother

Fri, May 05 2023, 1:40 pm

Thank you so much for the chizuk. I do keep going in reassuring and walking out. Sometimes I lay in there … it’s just why is my baby still screaming for long periods of time. By now it’s shouldn’t be so much

amother

Wine

Fri, May 05 2023, 2:04 pm

icedcoffee wrote:

If the child is still screaming 2 weeks in, then it's not a great sign and it means that it's not working, they need to try a different method.

tichellady

Fri, May 05 2023, 4:17 pm

hugs. it's so hard. have you spoken with him about it? I like the book " the happy sleeper" for sleep training. it's very clear. I also think you should not be laying him down. he needs to do that for himself. I think nursing him sometimes at night but not other times is probably confusing. I would cut out the nursing at night. he can have a cup of water in his bed. he will hopefully adapt his diet to eat more during the day if he isn't nursing at night. I have hired sleep consultants and honestly they didn't tell me anything that brilliant. the hard part is actually implementing the plan, more than coming up with it. I am happy to discuss more if would be helpful.

amother

Copper

Fri, May 05 2023, 4:22 pm

I didn't sleep train until I weaned. When I was ready to wean I got dc a toddler bed, put bandaids over my nipples, told dc they were broken, and laid on a mattress on the floor next to them till they fell asleep. Same deal if they woke up at night to comfort nurse.