How do I choose a house?? UPDATE

amother

Wed, May 10 2023, 10:02 am

Hi everyone!

We are currently looking to move to a new neighborhood that is closer to my husband's Yeshiva. Unfortunately, the housing market is pretty crazy there and small houses go for 500k+ and are usually not updated/optimal for frum life. We host a lot and would need something bigger. I am having such a hard time choosing a house to buy for a few reasons:

1. If I'm paying 600k+ for a house, shouldn't it be perfect for us? (We won't have a lot of money left over for renovations)

2. There is usually only 1 or 2 houses that come up on the market at a time. How do I know that a better house won't be coming up for a better price?

The bottom line is, at what point do I just say "this house is great, and it is what HaShem is sending us" and just focus on the positives? Or, do I just wait until a house comes up that is "perfect" for us? (We would like to buy this summer, but can wait another year if necessary)

Any advice would be appreciated!!

UPDATE: We just signed on the house! Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts and advice!

Amarante

Wed, May 10 2023, 10:25 am

No house is going to be perfect - even with a significantly larger budget it wouldn't be perfect.

You buy a house that has the best bones and is in good shape in terms of expensive stuff like roof and HVAC systems. Anything cosmetic can be lived with or changed over time.

You are NEVER going to know if there is a better house that will come on the market. What you do is not buy a house impulsively. You spend time going to open houses and viewing homes so you have a sense of what housing stock is in the location you want. You will also be able to figure out what is important to you and what is not.

You use a knowledgable realtor and seek their input. Once you have looked at a fair number of homes, you can be reasonably confident that the home you want to purchase represents fair market value for your location and you have thought about your family's needs because you have viewed homes and analyzed what you need and what you "want" - need versus wants is critical.

FWIW there really are no housing bargains - the best most people can hope for is that the home they buy represents fair market value and that it is structurally sound - all of this comes from due diligence - spending time looking at homes - spending time choosing a trustworthy and knowledgeable realtor and selecting a licensed/certified housing inspector who comes well recommended

nursemomma

Wed, May 10 2023, 11:52 am

To echo what a poster above said, you have to start looking to get a feel of what’s out there. Once you’ve seen a few houses, you’ll have a sense of what your priorities are.
Also, trust that Hashem will send you to the right house. Whatever home is meant for you, Hashem will guide you to it and things will just fall into place.

amother

Hyssop

Thu, May 11 2023, 12:05 am

amother OP wrote:

Here where I live, you pay over 1 mln for a 3-4 bedroom apartment. There is no uniform requirement of how perfect for you a 600k house should be. You work with what you get.
From the sound of it, you cannot afford „your perfect house“.

Rappel

Thu, May 11 2023, 1:11 am

amother Salmon wrote:

We bought a beautiful 3 million dollar homr in Brooklyn and still second guess our decision every day. It’s far from perfect but it was the right decision to make then.
Every home will have regrets I’m assuming.

I'm curious what regrets you're experiencing, if you don't mind my asking.

amother

Yarrow

Thu, May 11 2023, 6:19 am

You can't have everything. Either you move in a popular location where houses are more expensive. Or you move farther out where things are less expensive.

We bought a house farther out, (because we wanted privacy and quiet) and it wasn't even that much less than other houses. But we did get more for our money. Our houses rooms are just bigger in general. We don't have more rooms, but they are all bigger. And it wasn't updated at all, just well taken care of. My husband hated it but didn't see the potential I saw. He came around eventually.....

Ema of 5

Thu, May 11 2023, 6:43 am

amother Yarrow wrote:

As others have said, nothing will ever be perfect. When we were looking, my thing was always that when we walked into a house, I needed to be able to picture my family living there. The house we ended up buying was a disaster- like an actual disaster. There were holes in the floor, missing pieces of wood tile mosaic pieces, no usable kitchen, basement door and bathroom doors were in ridiculous places….you get the picture. BH the cost of most of the renovations was included in the cost of the house. Only now, 8 1/2 years later, are we starting to really put work into it. I mean…obviously we made a kitchen and we put the doors in reasonable places, and fixed the floor. But we haven’t done any major work until now.

lamplighter

Thu, May 11 2023, 7:04 am

Think of it like the shidduchim process. You don't visualize a perfect home at the perfect price and wait for it. You think of what's important to you, what are your non negotiables etc. Then you start to look, either word of mouth or a realtor or on your own. Each house you see you try to envision of it can work for your family long term.
When it's time to crunch the numbers that's when you may aks yourself is this house for me, can we afford it etc.
And just like the shidduch process some people find the one right away and some people "date" a lot and everyone ends up with some kind of imperfect.

amother

Stoneblue

Thu, May 11 2023, 7:21 am

I think you have to decide what is important to you in a house. Like location, living area, number of bedrooms, etc. Once you know those factors you can start looking around and get a feel for the homes. Make sure the foundation is solid so you won't have to put in a tons of work. Also just because you like a house doesn't mean you will get it! My husband and I put in offers for several houses that we thought were perfect and the buyers went with other offers. We ended up with a home that is by no means perfect, but perfect by means of what was important to us. It's up to Hashem, so daven!!
And 600k in this economy is not bad!

amother

Firebrick

Thu, May 11 2023, 7:29 am

Ema of 5 wrote:

Yup OBVIOUSLY you put in a new kitchen

tichellady

Thu, May 11 2023, 7:34 am

I think this is a normal process to go through when you are buying a house. it's hard to realize you aren't going to get your dream home and that you can only buy what's on the market and there is so much randomness involved. it's really about a gut feeling and a list of priorities

amother

Thu, May 11 2023, 9:11 am

Thank you everyone for your responses! I really appreciate it!

On another note, I really think this house is great and would like to move ahead with it. There are no other offers on the house so my husband and our real estate agent would like to hold off and wait until they feel more desperate so they will lower the asking price (they are not currently willing to accept below asking). I know that we would definitely appreciate the $100-200 month off our mortgage payment, but I really don't want to lose the house!

Ema of 5

Thu, May 11 2023, 9:16 am

amother OP wrote:

Why not negotiate? Make an offer, and see what happens. It can’t hurt.