EF deficits - will he outgrow or do I need to address?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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amother

Fri, May 12 2023, 10:29 am

My 12 year old son loses everything, has no sense of time, tends towards inflexible thinking, procrastinates, etc. He does not have ADHD, just executive functioning challenges. How do I know if he will outgrow these or if I need to be aggressive about this - getting him into therapy, etc. Some people have told me this is within the norm of adolescent behavior and they grow up eventually and others have warned that he'll never be successful in life if I don't nip it in the bud. I'd love to hear thoughts from others with this experience.

#BestBubby

Fri, May 12 2023, 10:45 am

Start by

Telling DS you will not replace lost items. He will pay for it from his money.

Make sure DS has adequate convenient storage, a place for everything .

Schedule a clean up time in evening where he puts all his stuff away. You can help in the beginning.

Hang a large calendar in his room and kit hen and
Help him fill out his schedule.

Give a reminder.

But do not rescue him if he procrastinate, even if it means his assignments are not completed.

Tell the school your campaign to make DS more responsible.

Sometimes only way kids learn is the hard way, natural consequences.

amother

Snowflake

Fri, May 12 2023, 12:39 pm

Do him a favor a help him out. He will not just outgrow it. Give him awareness and strategies.

amother

Zinnia

Fri, May 12 2023, 1:02 pm

As an adult with Executive Functioning deficiencies (though from ADHD), please please get him help. There’s no harm in it other than cost. If he would have grown out of it, great, he’ll outgrow it faster having been explicitly taught the skills. If he wouldn’t have, you’ll save him years of frustration and pain. I lost multiple jobs before realizing what was going on and being in a financial position to seek OT for myself.

seeker

Fri, May 12 2023, 1:23 pm

If this is recent then you could possibly chalk it up to adolescence but if he never had these skills then he isn't going to suddenly grow into them. If you're not sure, I would err on the side of seeking help, you're not asking about a 5 year old who has plenty of time to catch up.

amother

Skyblue

Fri, May 12 2023, 2:01 pm

Definitely address it. One thing I did was use Peg Dawson's Smart but Scatterred program. Here is an amazing course if you are not a reader: https://handsonapproaches.com/.....mmit/ Very practical and useful.

Don't ignore the situation. It just gets worse with time. Good luck.

amother

Mon, May 15 2023, 11:33 am

Thank you for the replies and suggestions!

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