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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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amother

Tue, May 16 2023, 10:51 pm

My 4 year old has just been toilet trained. No I'm not dysfunctional he just wasn't ready. I tried a hundred times and it never worked. Some kids just need more time.

amother

Mauve

Tue, May 16 2023, 10:53 pm

Mazal tov!

amother

Bluebell

Tue, May 16 2023, 10:54 pm

Ummm.... Why do you think you'll be judged? One of mine trained 6 weeks before 4 and he was my oldest. Otherwise all after 3.....

motheroftoo

Tue, May 16 2023, 10:55 pm

Wow! That must be so hard.

amother

Pink

Tue, May 16 2023, 10:58 pm

No judgement at all! Happy for you!

Signed,
Someone who was toilet trained at 2, but un-toilet trained myself when my next sibling was born, then didn't retrain until I was 5😉

amother

Buttercup

Tue, May 16 2023, 11:08 pm

I never heard of anyone judging a person based on what age their kids are toilet trained. I have 2 kids who were trained at 4.

amother

Tue, May 16 2023, 11:10 pm

Thanks 😊

I've been feeling judged and therefore embarrassed when his diaper was peeking out from his pants when we were outside and people were noticing

amother

Tue, May 16 2023, 11:11 pm

amother Buttercup wrote:

I never heard of anyone judging a person based on what age their kids are toilet trained. I have 2 kids who were trained at 4.

Wow! A while back someone here was saying it's dysfunctional for a kid over age 3.5 to not be toilet trained

amother

Gold

Tue, May 16 2023, 11:13 pm

I remember a child from my child's 4 year nursery in pullups. BH he just got married, so it's all good. Not to worry.

amother

Tue, May 16 2023, 11:23 pm

Even though I'm excited I'm embarrassed to tell people that it took this long

amother

Junglegreen

Tue, May 16 2023, 11:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

Even though I'm excited I'm embarrassed to tell people that it took this long

You don't have to tell anyone. You can share here anonymously. Imo, this is private info about your child you shouldn't really share it with people.
One of my kids want ready until 3. I felt so judged. My sil openly commented with such disgust. That it is so gross a child that age is still in daipers.... she toilet trained her kids by 18 months.... I tried again and again. We were both so frustrated. She was in playgroup and unable to move onto school before being toilet trained. She was the oldest by 4 months and was bored and understimulated although they really tried to accommodate her. But once she was ready she was ready and it was a breeze. With my other kids I had learned my lesson. I waited until they showed me signs that they are really ready and wanting. There is no pushing growing up. Ironically, my next 2 toilet trained at 2.5 and it took just 2-3 days and it was really easy to train them because their bodies and brains were ready. My 1yo now is following the pattern in behaviour looks and development like the kid who took till 3 to toilet train. I guess we shall see....

amother

Junglegreen

Tue, May 16 2023, 11:34 pm

And btw, my (other) sil sent my nephew to school in a pullup. He'd come home at 5 years old, with wet and soiled pullups. He's 10 now. Perfectly normal bright (toilet trained) kid.

ra_mom

Tue, May 16 2023, 11:35 pm

amother OP wrote:

My 4 year old has just been toilet trained. No I'm not dysfunctional he just wasn't ready. I tried a hundred times and it never worked. Some kids just need more time.

That's really great news! You must feel so accomplished and relieved BH. May he go mechayil el chayil!

amother

Iris

Tue, May 16 2023, 11:50 pm

With my first, I started at 2 1/2. Lots of tears, frustrations, losing patience on my part. All in all a very unpleasant experience. I said no more. My next wore pull-ups to 3 year old. I promised the teacher if he soils, I’ll come change him. It’s not her problem. He held it until he came home and that summer he had enough and trained himself right before he turned 4. Night and day at once. Did the same with my next four. They basically knew the option was there and trained themselves all between 3 and 4. No yelling, frustrations, messes.

Good for you for waiting for him to be ready.

BrisketBoss

Tue, May 16 2023, 11:53 pm

I haven't tried at all with my almost-4. It doesn't seem worth it to me. She does use the toilet sometimes and she talks about it. She has underwear for when she feels ready. I'm still giving her time before a push, especially given that a new sibling is imminent.

amother

Bone

Tue, May 16 2023, 11:54 pm

Kids are ready when they're ready. That's true not just of toilet training, but all milestones, including dating and marriage.

BusyMama1

Tue, May 16 2023, 11:59 pm

Congrats!! That's huge when you finish toilet training a child, no small deal here

anotherone

Wed, May 17 2023, 1:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

My 4 year old has just been toilet trained. No I'm not dysfunctional he just wasn't ready. I tried a hundred times and it never worked. Some kids just need more time.

I won't even think to judge you- if you wouldn't write it yourself) don't give people such ideas! Smile

mazal tov, so happy for you!

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