S/o watching children

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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amother

Blueberry

Thu, May 18 2023, 8:27 am

My daughter fell off a chair and gashed the back of her head open. Hatzalah and the hospital said it happens all the time. No one blinked or even questioned us at all. I said she was standing on a chair and fell and they all said yeah it happens. You all have ridiculous fears that are really far from reality.

Stars

Thu, May 18 2023, 8:29 am

amother Blueberry wrote:

What you’re saying is true but you can be a bit kinder while stating the facts. Also keep in mind that some people have cps trauma, whether first hand, or second third or just something they heard one time.

amother

Blueberry

Thu, May 18 2023, 8:31 am

Stars wrote:

I think it's important to point out how far fetched it is so people don't have to go through life with serious anxiety never letting their children move a centimeter without holding on to them.

Stars

Thu, May 18 2023, 8:32 am

amother Blueberry wrote:

I think it's important to point out how far fetched it is so people don't have to go through life with serious anxiety never letting their children move a centimeter without holding on to them.

Being mean has never cured anyone’s anxiety 😉

Genius

Thu, May 18 2023, 8:34 am

She wasn’t being mean.

amother

Linen

Thu, May 18 2023, 8:35 am

How do you all get your kids to play? Unless there’s friends she knows really well, my little only child will only play with me!

amother

Dahlia

Thu, May 18 2023, 8:37 am

amother Blueberry wrote:

This really depends on the hospital or doctor. Certain hospitals or doctors give people hell for this sort of thing. Every broken bone or child injury, becomes a case.

amother

Dahlia

Thu, May 18 2023, 8:40 am

amother Blueberry wrote:

I think it's important to point out how far fetched it is so people don't have to go through life with serious anxiety never letting their children move a centimeter without holding on to them.

Again, not far fetched at all. Hatzolah in my community takes to a hospital that is known for making everything in to a major case. I had to beg them to take my child elsewhere.
Hatzolah took in my neighbors child with a bruised bottom and severe stomach pain. The first thing they did was lock up the parents and had them wait hours to be interrogated. This was before doing any testing!! The child ended up being diagnosed with cancer and the parents were given the additional trauma of being accused with child abuse.

amother

Oxfordblue

Thu, May 18 2023, 8:53 am

I think you tend to know your child and how carefully they need watching.

I hover more, but then, I have a kid who likes to run without looking, and will climb the tallest things he can find (he looks at roofing guys with envy). If I had a kid who was more cautious and less prone to chasing whatever interesting thing he spotted, I'd be more relaxed.

amother

Peachpuff

Thu, May 18 2023, 8:57 am

Why are we "measuring" what's reasonably being responsible with how CPS views it?
I know someone who keeps her kids in expired carseats just so that she won't get a ticket.

Hello?

mig100

Thu, May 18 2023, 9:06 am

amother OP wrote:

I find that some people confuse watching children with standing over them like a hawk.

I have 2 toddlers that are just about 2 years old (twins.) at the park I often sit on a bench and allow them to do their own thing while looking out for them. I allow them to climb up the playground equipment without me being right behind them because I think that's good for them. Have they fallen on occasion? Yes. But mostly children are aware how to be careful and use judgment for something new. When they need help, I'm there to help them. But I don't pick them and put them on the equipment I rather let them figure it out on their own and when they are ready they figure it out.

Some people might judge me for this. That's ok. I'm just sharing there are different parenting philosophies out there and it doesn't mean something is neglectful if you don't do it.

I think that's fine. Especially if they are old enough to know how to get down. I do the same

When they are at the stage where they go up and have no clue how to go down I stand over them.

On a busy avenue like Ocean parkway u also stand over them. Playgrounds are made for kids to run around. Ocean parkway is not

amother

Babyblue

Thu, May 18 2023, 9:17 am

CPS is scary. But I'm not understanding the approach that "the kid fell down, gashed their head open and hatzola said they see it all the time and CPS doesn't get involved, so don't worry."

I don't want any of my kids to gash their head open ch"v, CPS or no CPS!

amother

Thu, May 18 2023, 9:24 am

amother Linen wrote:

How do you all get your kids to play? Unless there’s friends she knows really well, my little only child will only play with me!

I think that's fine too. But what if you allowed her to just hang around a bit? She might eventually make her way to the equipment and play alongside other children.

I sometimes also play with them, like I'll say peekaboo or make a sound as they go down the slide etc but mostly I let them do their thing - for my kids it does help that they have have a built in playmate;) (In this instance, in other instances I don't recommend having twins LOL

)

But the truth in the park they're a lot of times on different stuff. One child likes going up and down the steps a lot and the other might be more into the slides. I think if you gradually taper "playing with your kid" she might explore on her own.

amother

Moccasin

Thu, May 18 2023, 9:32 am

amother Babyblue wrote:

Of course you don't. No one does.
But there's "normal" bruises, broken bones, gashes. To be expected of typically developing children. And it's a fallacy to think that we can prevent it all.
Sure, we can hover at the playground. And if course we should insist on normal precautions - helmets, buckles, car seats, etc.

But at a certain point children get hurt.
They fall off their bikes and break their wrist. They play basketball and break their finger.
They fall in the playground and it their head and need stitches.

gr82no

Thu, May 18 2023, 10:07 am

amother Dahlia wrote:

There's nothing wrong with kids sitting and observing and doing nothing till they warm up and do something. Certain kids need to take in their surroundings and observe for a while before going to play. That's ok. Let them do their own thing.

Of course. I phrased it wrong.my kid tells me I should follow. I sit on the bench but then my kid says mommy and tells me to follow. Also the favorite activity there needs two people to do

amother

Magenta

Thu, May 18 2023, 10:10 am

I allow my kids the freedom to climb as well. It’s very good for their confidence and motor skills. They are capable of a lot more than we think. They don’t need parents standing on top of them dictating their every move.

amother

Blueberry

Thu, May 18 2023, 10:12 am

amother Babyblue wrote:

Do you think I wanted her to gash her head open??? It happened once. And then every time she stood up after I reminded her what happened and she sat down. Tell me how do you prevent your kids from ever standing on a chair? I was feeding the baby, what was I supposed to have done? Do you have straps on your chairs for all ages? Do your kids past high chair age not stand up ever?

amother

Babyblue

Thu, May 18 2023, 10:14 am

amother Blueberry wrote:

I have a very strict rule about standing on chairs, and I train them from when they're old enough to climb. They go in time out if they stand/climb on any furniture. Tell me I'm overly strict, I don't care. I've seen too many injuries growing up in a wild house and I care too much about my kids to let them get used to being wild on furniture. They can climb on climbing equipment that is meant for such things.

amother

Blueberry

Thu, May 18 2023, 10:19 am

amother Babyblue wrote:

I have no climbing policy too. And kids are still kids.

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