Job offer I dont want to contemplate but maybe I should

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Thu, May 18 2023, 5:15 pm

For many years, I taught high school students. I loved teaching, but there were parts of the job that were very hard for me. The idea of being tied down to a job, the paperwork and the discipline were all very challenging for me. Plus, there was a commute which has only gotten worse over the last few years. But I kept at it for many years because it's hard to change the status quo. Besides, I was considered a very good teacher and it gave me a lot of personal fulfillment.

At some point, due to certain events in my life at the time, I made the difficult decision to stop teaching. One of those things was that I gave birth to twins, and I had several little (and big) kids besides. I wanted to be able to devote myself more to my family.

Over the next few years, the school occasionally reached out to me to ask me to come back. Every year they had other offers, and sometimes they asked me to sub. Apparently there is a shortage of teachers these days. I usually declined the offers though I occasionally went in to sub if I was able to

Meanwhile I established a home based business which I love and which allows me to bring in much more money with much less effort than I ever made while teaching. I make my own hours and am my own boss.

Now, another school (with which I am somewhat affiliated) asked me if I would consider teaching there next year. They want to offer me the same grade and subject which I taught for many years in my previous school. This school is much closer to my home than the other school, but still a bit of a commute.

I said that I am really not looking to go back to teaching. Really not. Not that I don't love teaching but I don't have the energy to deal with the parts that are hard for me. The specific events that were the impetus for me to stop teaching are no longer factors (the twins are bigger now and in school), but it's still hard to think about going back to teaching.

The principal asked me to think about it. I know she is very desperate.

Now here is where the conflict is:
I know in my heart that it's not good for me to be home all day. I stay in comfortable clothes , no makeup, no wig. I have been steadily gaining weight and can't seem to do anything to stop the weight gain. I am very sedentary. Most days I don't see anyone outside of my family, which I don't really mind , but I know it's not so good for me. I rarely go to simchos or events because it's such an effort for me to get dressed.

So I don't really want to consider this job, but a part of me thinks it may be good for me, because it will force me to go out, see people, get dressed, buy new clothes, etc. The very thought of it makes me feel dread. But I wonder if I should nevertheless be considering it.

Besides, I feel really bad for them. I know it's so hard to find qualified teachers. But taking a job because you feel bad for them is not a good enough reason, I think.

Also, even though the school is desperate, I am positive that they would never be able to pay me well, so it's not as of the compensation could tempt me.

So that's the situation in a nutshell.
Anyone been in a similar situation and care to comment?

amother

Apricot

Thu, May 18 2023, 5:25 pm

I know this isn’t what you’re looking for, but I’d appreciate if you could share what sort of business you run from home. I need one that doesn’t involve much interaction with other people, and it sounds like your business falls in that category. Thank you

amother

Wallflower

Thu, May 18 2023, 5:27 pm

I taught her a few years and then left because I wanted to have more energy for my younger kids. I switched to another career which I absolutely love and pays a lot more than teaching! My kids are older now and I could theoretically go back but I don't want to. You should never ever just take a teaching job because the school is desperate. They will figure it out and find someone else. I do not miss the grading papers at night, preparing lessons, and talking to parents that took over my life. I love leaving my job at work at the end of the day and not having any carryover outside of normal work hours.
You can always teach later in life when your kids are out of the house.

You can join an exercise class or find another way to get out of the house with a lot less commitment than every day working as a teacher. Try to schedule something you need to be at every week to get you dressed and out of the house, whether it's free volunteer work or a class or a hobby.

But don't teach just to lose weight.

amother

Thu, May 18 2023, 5:28 pm

amother Apricot wrote:

It's related to a talent that I have. I freelance, so I only take jobs that I want to do.

amother

Ecru

Thu, May 18 2023, 5:32 pm

I quit my teaching job when my husband started working. Sometimes I briefly think about going back to work.

I didn't have a commute, so that isn't the issue. It's dealing with the parents and the administration and the paperwork and having a hard day at work but then needing to still be "on" with your own kids. It adds a whole layer of stress to your life.

It does sound like you need to get out of the house more, and add more structure to your days. Maybe you can join an exercise group and a volunteer group. I doubt returning to teaching is going to better your life the way you hope.

shirachadasha

Thu, May 18 2023, 5:38 pm

Do you maintain a relationship with your old students? Do you have letters of appreciation from students or parents? Is there any other way that you know you've made a meaningful impact by teaching?

If the answer is yes to any of these questions, consider that as you make your decision.

Would your personal business suffer if you tought for one year? Or would it be possible to essentialy pick up in 1 year where you left it?

amother

Thu, May 18 2023, 5:46 pm

shirachadasha wrote:

Yes, I am still in touch with some of my former students.

Actually, I do occasionally bump into former students who tell me that I made a huge impact on their lives and that they still remember that I taught them. Some of my former students now have kids of their own going to the same school and they ask me if I will be teaching their daughters.

Whenever that happens I always feel happy that I had the zechus to teach them, mixed with guilt for having left the teaching profession, and also a bit of skepticism. (I imagine that every teacher has similar experiences so I doubt it's just me.)

But, alas, thinking about those students does not motivate me enough to go back.

I wouldn't stop my personal business. I would probably do both simultaneously. The work I currently do is very part time.

amother

Sienna

Thu, May 18 2023, 6:52 pm

Any way you can teach a few times a week?

If not, any way you can give back in a meaningful way and use your kochos by facilitating a chaburah, giving shiurim from time to time, alumnae/neighborhood/shul shiur? In addition to using your kochos and getting fulfillment, you are inspiring and impacting people hopefully in their avodas Hashem which is incomparable to any job or salary in the world.

amother

Electricblue

Thu, May 18 2023, 7:06 pm

Isn't high school teaching just a few hours, like 1 hour a day per subject? Do they have multiple classes? Actually working one period a day sounds like a really good way to add something to your schedule without overloading. Maybe they could give you less periods.

amother

Jean

Thu, May 18 2023, 7:08 pm

Maybe you should consider something very part time teaching just to make you go out. High school subject that is only a short amount of time, but doesn't make sense to take full time job if you have to give up what your business is now. There are other ways to make sure you take care of yourself.

amother

Anemone

Thu, May 18 2023, 7:14 pm

You have a great opportunity to impact future Jewish homes.
I’d take a high school job for the fulfillment, not the money and maybe go in 2 or 3 times a week for 4 hours.
You might feel inspired from the teaching.
This way you can still focus on your business as well.

amother

Chartreuse

Thu, May 18 2023, 7:23 pm

It seems like it could be really good for you to take the job.

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, May 18 2023, 7:55 pm

I'm in similar situation... gave up teaching last june to be more present at home...Now schools begging me for part time I really can't see myself getting out to teach. But was hard for me staying home so I'm torn

imasinger

Thu, May 18 2023, 8:01 pm

A couple of thoughts:

1. If they're desperate, you have a fair amount of room to negotiate a salary.

2. Could you sub there once or twice in the next few weeks, and see how it feels to be there?

amother

Bluebonnet

Thu, May 18 2023, 8:16 pm

If you can give it your all, then consider.
But, from the perspective of the students and mothers, (yes, I am a mother of high schoolers) please, please don’t take the job if you can’t dedicate yourself to the chinuch of the girls. I know I am asking a lot, but the girls are so smart and so sensitive, and they don’t respect or value the teachers that aren’t fully in it.

amother

Thu, May 18 2023, 8:38 pm

amother Bluebonnet wrote:

I 100% agree with this.
Many years ago, when I was still teaching and I had a bunch of little babies at home , I felt like I was being spread too thin. I felt like it wasn't fair to the students that they had a teacher who was not able to give 100% of herself to them.
I discussed it with an older fellow teacher who I respected a lot. She told me that she was once exactly in my shoes, and she talked it over with a choshuv person who knew her well. She said, "Your 70 or 80% is more than another teacher's 100%". Meaning, even though she was not able to give her all, the students were still gaining far more from her than they were from many other teachers, because she was an incredible teacher.

She gave me something to think about. I may not have been able to give them 100% but I was doing my best. Teachers are humans with families and the best you can hope for is that they are positively impacted, even if they aren't giving them 100%

That being said, from my vantage point now, I don't have a burning desire to get into a classroom again. But if I would take the job, I imagine the passion would be rekindled.

amother

Dustypink

Thu, May 18 2023, 9:45 pm

It seems to me that you should be asking for ideas how to get out of the house more and more physically active, than whether or not you should take a job that you don't want.

Unless you need themoney, I think it's a no brainer. I can somewhat I identify. In my job, I actually love the face to face interactions with the kids, but I hate everything else about the job - difficult colleagues, parents and paperwork.

Figure out how to get out more- volunteer, exercise, shiurim, short course, whatever. I think that will make you far happier than an exhausting job.

amother

DarkMagenta

Fri, May 19 2023, 2:34 am

I started teaching again two years ago, after a long break, because the principal was absolutely desperate. I've loved teaching high school again. The girls are great, the intellectual stimulation is great. But I told the principal I'm not coming back next year. My kids need me and all the unpaid time spent preparing and marking papers is taking away from time I could spend with them. I feel guilty about it, but I need to do what's best for my kids.

boysrus

Fri, May 19 2023, 9:17 am

is there a possibility of you working very part time at teaching high school?
like maybe once a week teaching 3 periods, or twice a week teaching 2-3 periods both days.
Then you get the sipuk of teaching, the girls get your energy because you're not full time and burned out, and you get out the house and feel really good about yourself.

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