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If your bedtime routine is serene...
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Rachel Shira


Post Wed, May 24 2023, 6:24 pm
Bedtime here isn’t always serene but it’s structured and predictable and mostly peaceful. The kids (multiple little kids) might fight brushing teeth or take a few reminders to get in pajamas but when it comes down to it, we follow the routine and they get in bed at the right time and go to sleep. I attribute it to a few things -
Same routine since my oldest was little and as each kid is born they fall into the routine along with us.
Strict sleep schedule in general and I know they’re ready at bedtime and not over or under tired.
It’s just non negotiable and they look forward to certain parts of the routine which helps keep it moving along.
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Post Wed, May 24 2023, 6:46 pm
Rolling Laughter Rolling Laughter Rolling Laughter Rolling Laughter

Ours is far from perfect, but I also have kids that dont' seem to need as much sleep as their peers--as they go to sleep around the same time every night and are not impossible to wake up in the morning/falling asleep throughout the day.

It is important to know that for school age kids normal amount of sleep is 9-12 hours. So if they are consistently staying up too late and waking up at the same time, they may need less sleep. (Mine go to bed around 9:30-10, fall asleep probably closer to 10:30 and wake up 7:30--that's 9 hours)

They will ask for melatonin if they are having a hard time falling asleep.
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Post Wed, May 24 2023, 6:50 pm
Mine is pretty good after years of having it really hard. My trick is putting everyone to sleep at the same time and NOT staggering. My kids 12-2 all go to bed between 8-8:30.
My 12 year old went through YEARS of not falling asleep and not sleeping thru the night. Now he finally does and he needs his sleep so it works.
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Post Thu, May 25 2023, 3:35 am
Rachel Shira wrote:
Bedtime here isn’t always serene but id they look forward to certain parts of the routine which helps keep it moving along.

Which part do they lookfwd to?
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Post Thu, May 25 2023, 3:39 am
Rappel wrote:
We have a firm bedtime ritual, and stick to it like glue. That's it. On the thousandth repetition, it became a rite, and they've never fought us since. Even the little kids get into it, because they see their older siblings following the ritual.

Whats the ritual
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Post Thu, May 25 2023, 3:43 am
amother Mimosa wrote:
I absolutely adore bedtime.
There's routine, but it's OK if it takes longer than I want it to.
Bedtime is my time to unwind.
Toddler gets bathed, tucked into bed, and I hold his hand till he sleeps, about 10 min.
Dh is very helpful b"h and he usually will make sure in the meantime that the other 3 kids brush teeth and get into PJ'S
Then, starting with youngest, I lay in her bed and call her to come in. We cuddle and she'll tell me everything she "forgot" to share fir about 15 min. Repeat with each child.
Takes a long hour, usually more, but I made up my mind that this is what I want. And I love it.
The kids can sense I'm calm and I'm in no rush to finish. Whenever I have a simcha, and I do rush, none of them fall asleep..

You are remarkable! How do you not fall asleep?? As soon as I lay down I'm out.
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Post Thu, May 25 2023, 7:09 am
thegiver wrote:
You are remarkable! How do you not fall asleep?? As soon as I lay down I'm out.

Does happen occasionally. In fact, if I feel really exhausted, I even shower and get into pj's before so I don't have to do much if I do fall asleep.
Dh will come wake me if he sees I'm in the room for too long.
Either way, I don't clean my house in the evenings. Dh will do a little, and I wake early to finish.
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Post Thu, May 25 2023, 7:45 am
Funny you asked since my DH actually just instituted an incentive program for my kids about a week ago and it's actually going really well!

In the winter it wasn't too hard, but in the summer we noticed out kids were staying out wayyy too late and bedtime was crazy. So we made them a chart and if they do all the bedtime routine stuff and are in bed by the set time (different for each age) they get a check. If they get enough checks we will take a small family vacation at the end of the summer for 1-2 nights depending on how many checks they got. Just a nearby hotel- we have points anyway so would be free.
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Post Thu, May 25 2023, 8:28 am
We have seasons where it goes more smoothly and seasons where things fly a bit more but for the most part, it helps to have a solid routine that you stick to. We don’t do any bonding at bedtime, bonding happens during the day/evening.
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Post Thu, May 25 2023, 8:49 am
My husband actually started recording his bedtime stories so I can play them when he's not home. It's great. I would love to publish them to spotify
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Post Sun, May 28 2023, 2:40 am
I stagger bedtimes because they all sleep in the same room. So each kid goes to bed half an hour after the last one, starting with 3 year old around 615/630 then 10 year old goes at 830. I get the little ones ready and then lie down with them until they fall asleep and the others know that they need to get into pjs and brush before I'm finished. Then I sit and chat with each of the bigger ones until it's their time to get into bed so they get their one-on-one time. Staggering makes a big difference.
Right now I have a baby and am trying to incorporate her bedtime into the 3 year olds. Any tips on getting them to sleep at the same time? My 3 year is used to me lying next to him until he falls asleep and the baby will screeeaam if I try that with him in arms
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Post Sun, May 28 2023, 6:11 am
Bed time is not the easiest time of day for anyone and we all want it to be pleasant. It take skill patients and lots of trial and error to get it. and once you got it, things change (new baby, child grows older, dynamics between siblings, etc...) and you got to go back to the drawing board and start again.
that being said, here are some things that have worked for me over the years, dunno maybe some things may be helpful in you situation....
firstly making sure bedtime is at a time that is realistic for your child. to their age and physical make up. if a child is not yet tired it will be way harder to get them to bed. a 10 yr old needs less sleep than an 8 yr old. pushing off bedtime will help them feel older and more mature. making a deal that they can have a later bed time as long as they are in bed on time may help.
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Post Sun, May 28 2023, 8:40 am
How are all these 10 year olds going to sleep at 8-8:30?! Mine is no where near ready to go to sleep until like 9:30 at least.
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Post Sun, May 28 2023, 11:34 am
amother Arcticblue wrote:
How are all these 10 year olds going to sleep at 8-8:30?! Mine is no where near ready to go to sleep until like 9:30 at least.

he gets up at 630
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Post Sun, May 28 2023, 11:36 am
Bh it’s very calm. I have a 2 and 4 year old (boys) we go play at the park, have a snack, take a bath, brush teeth, pjs, story, shema, cuddles and then I turn on a story tape. Most nights I lay with them for a bit but then they just fall asleep.
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Post Sun, May 28 2023, 12:17 pm
Girl@Heart wrote:
Anyone who has multiple little kids and has serene bedtime is a psychopath. Don’t trust anything they say.

Signed, a mom who just had a really rough night

I know you're trying to be cute but I actually think this is kinda mean. I was simply sharing why and how our bedtime is pretty serene. Sorry if it pushed ur buttons.
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