Would you accept this gift?

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Forum -> Relationships -> Giving Gifts

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amother

Wed, May 31 2023, 12:22 am

I was talking to a relative of mine who is a lot younger than me.
I was telling them that I need a certain item which used runs a few thousand dollars and new is $20,000.
I don’t mind used but it needs to be in working condition.
I got a text from them that they would love to help me out with buying it.
I have no money at all. Lost my job and haven’t found anything yet and my bills are piling up my credit cards are maxed out.
I feel funny having them buy it for me but on the other hand it would be a tremendous help and they are comfortable and could easily afford it.
I hate having people do for me but it would be a tremendous help.
Would you accept it?

amother

DarkPurple

Wed, May 31 2023, 12:28 am

I have to assume this is a car.
Yes, in your circumstances it's fine to accept the gift. But - you know these people. Would a gift be completely without strings?

amother

Lightpink

Wed, May 31 2023, 12:32 am

I would not.

If they can afford it, I would accept it with a plan to pay them for it or "rent it" from them.

I wouldn't necessarily pay the full payment now.... I might say that starting from when I get a job and get back on my feet, I'll start paying XX/month (even if the full cost is much higher).

Hatzlacha rabbah OP!

amother

Chartreuse

Wed, May 31 2023, 1:34 am

I have been in positions where I needed help and I God can send money from anywhere but I need to be willing to take it. I’m not saying it was easy because it wasn’t but it literally saved me. It’s long as you know there are no strings attached and that it’s literally just a gift. I will take it.

amother

Poppy

Wed, May 31 2023, 7:49 am

Could it be you mentioned it to them with a small hope they would offer to buy it?

amother

Wed, May 31 2023, 8:47 am

I really don't think that she is doing it with stings attached. She isn't that type of person at least I don't think so. Her mom and I were much closer just because we are the same age and grew up toghther and her mom helped me out years ago because she knew my families financial situation.
But I am so uncomfortable taking from people but on the other hand I really need it very desperately and can't afford to buy myself.

flowerpower

Wed, May 31 2023, 9:00 am

I’d say take it and really show appreciation. If she offered it and is sincere about it than she really wants to gift you from her heart!

crust

Wed, May 31 2023, 9:06 am

I would take it.

Hashem has many ways to send bracha.

Its our own pride that sometimes gets in the way of receiving bracha.

DustyDiamonds

Wed, May 31 2023, 9:08 am

If it’s a relative who has the means to buy this for you, and won’t feel like bossing you around because of it, take it.

I’ve seen problems develop in families of relatives who had difficulties with finances when they refused to accept help, and their families suffered.

Hashem gave to the wealthy to help the poor.

May you be blessed to be on the giving side soon!!!!

amother

Wed, May 31 2023, 7:41 pm

I told my relative and then I would love to except but now I’m a bit nervous because they said they will send the money but they didn’t specify how much. I can’t afford to put in a dime so if it won’t be enough then there’s nothing I can do with the money and I would just have to return it to them.
I wouldn’t want them to think I’m asking them for more money.
I just can’t see them giving me thousands of dollars and if they would give me a thousand it wouldn’t help me at all.

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