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Shavuos Binah-Seeing it my way, two muchuteinestes



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GLUE




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 31 2023, 2:45 pm
This article seems to have been written just for the controversy, at least that's how I read it.(I tried finding a link on-line but don't know were to look)

The article is about two women who's kids marry each other

Miriam is mad to find out that her new DIL, Ruchy has a degree. She is very anti women getting degree's.

Dina finds out a few years after the marriage that her daughter and son in law don't vaccinate their kids.

A few years later Miriam is fine with the degree because she see's that her DIL is able to be with her kids more and make her own hours then her own kids without the degree.
Like wise Dina see's that Ruchy's kids don't get sick like her other grandchildren do so she makes peace with the idea.

I have a few problems with this article, here are some.
-No-were does it say what degree does Ruchy have. Some degree's you can have a more flex schedule then others, while other career paths you have less flex time. Yet it seemed that the point of the story if you get a degree you have a flex schedule.
-In the story Dina spoke to Ruchy's kids DR. who said that kids who are vaxed are always here for ear infection ect. But kids that are not she barely see's them. My experience with people who don't vax it's not that there kids don't get sick it's just they don't run to the Dr. they are more likely to try things like garlic and chiropractors.

The thing that bothered me the most about this story, it seemed like there is only one right way.
As in either you get a degree and have a flex schedule or you have to work your tail off.
If you vax your kids your kids will always be sick

This is how I read the story anyone have a different take?
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amother
Butterscotch


 

Post Wed, May 31 2023, 2:48 pm
Classic Binah
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Wed, May 31 2023, 3:33 pm
It was kind of all over the place. The approach to meeting the girl and the high level research sounded like bshow style, but the author seemed to be trying to make it seem like regular shidduch dating? Just was awkward and didn't really fit.

Also, the son in law had had mumps as a teen....isn't it well known that mumps for a teen boy or adult male usually cause sterility.

The degree thing also I didn't get....maybe in the 1980s or prior it was not accepted for girls in certain frum circles....but that's changed so much in the past 20 years especially with online or frum programs and is very accepted in almost all circles (maybe not all chassidish ones? That was part of what was confusing about the story. It wasn't clear which circles these families were from.)
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Chickensoupprof




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 31 2023, 3:37 pm
Binah is not online, but ok... I don't get the story either I don't see any connection haven't read it in years tbh
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amother
Dahlia


 

Post Wed, May 31 2023, 3:40 pm
GLUE wrote:


The thing that bothered me the most about this story, it seemed like there is only one right way.
As in either you get a degree and have a flex schedule or you have to work your tail off.
If you vax your kids your kids will always be sick

This is how I read the story anyone have a different take?


That is not at all how I viewed it, but rather to show that people can be set in stone about a certain issue and then later realize that the opposing shita may be valid or possibly even better. I didn't particularly like the examples they gave (the degree thing is so not a controversial issue with most kollel families and the conversation with the doctor seemed contrived) but I liked the concept behind the story. Both mothers agreed they never would have gone through with the shidduch had they had prior knowledge of the issues, and then years later realized that would have been wrong.
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amother
Narcissus


 

Post Wed, May 31 2023, 3:45 pm
amother Dodgerblue wrote:


Also, the son in law had had mumps as a teen....isn't it well known that mumps for a teen boy or adult male usually cause sterility.

)

Not quite like that. 1 in 10 of adult males who get mumps will experience a drop in sperm count. Rarely is that large enough to affect fertility.
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amother
Stonewash


 

Post Wed, May 31 2023, 3:46 pm
Side note, a RARE ( look it up) side effect of mumps in males is sterility - my father had it at age 16 and I was born when he was 30.😁
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GLUE




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 31 2023, 3:47 pm
amother Narcissus wrote:
Not quite like that. 1 in 10 of adult males who get mumps will experience a drop in sperm count. Rarely is that large enough to affect fertility.


I do know of a few boys who got the mumps when they were teens, it was a time when a lot of teenage boys got mumps and some of them are having problems having kids.
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Wed, May 31 2023, 3:55 pm
GLUE wrote:
I do know of a few boys who got the mumps when they were teens, it was a time when a lot of teenage boys got mumps and some of them are having problems having kids.

My brother had mumps as a teen and they’re struggling. Ofcourse I don’t know if he’s actually the problem.
As an aside, my other brother who was the first to never get vaxxed had terrible eczema as a baby and now has crohns.
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amother
Narcissus


 

Post Wed, May 31 2023, 5:05 pm
GLUE wrote:
I do know of a few boys who got the mumps when they were teens, it was a time when a lot of teenage boys got mumps and some of them are having problems having kids.

Lots of people (unfortunately) struggle to have kids regardless of their mumps status.
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Wed, May 31 2023, 5:21 pm
My friends husband had mumps when they were engaged - probably early twenties. A few years down the road, they have four children and counting.
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amother
Ballota


 

Post Wed, May 31 2023, 5:58 pm
I understand being upset about going to college. Getting a degree at TTI seems fine to me. Also I would have no patience for this story and the Binah would end up airborne somewhere in the middle.
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amother
Hosta


 

Post Wed, May 31 2023, 10:55 pm
Binah has a lot of anti vax propaganda, to me this seemed like more of the same. They were trying to equate how much of a scandal it is to get a degree in some circles with how much of a scandal it is to be anti vax in, well, nearly all circles. Moral equivalence.
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amother
Ghostwhite


 

Post Thu, Jun 01 2023, 12:12 am
The writer based the story on a true story with which she was familiar.
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amother
Steel


 

Post Thu, Jun 01 2023, 12:34 am
GLUE wrote:
This article seems to have been written just for the controversy, at least that's how I read it.(I tried finding a link on-line but don't know were to look)

The article is about two women who's kids marry each other

Miriam is mad to find out that her new DIL, Ruchy has a degree. She is very anti women getting degree's.

Dina finds out a few years after the marriage that her daughter and son in law don't vaccinate their kids.

A few years later Miriam is fine with the degree because she see's that her DIL is able to be with her kids more and make her own hours then her own kids without the degree.
Like wise Dina see's that Ruchy's kids don't get sick like her other grandchildren do so she makes peace with the idea.

I have a few problems with this article, here are some.
-No-were does it say what degree does Ruchy have. Some degree's you can have a more flex schedule then others, while other career paths you have less flex time. Yet it seemed that the point of the story if you get a degree you have a flex schedule.
-In the story Dina spoke to Ruchy's kids DR. who said that kids who are vaxed are always here for ear infection ect. But kids that are not she barely see's them. My experience with people who don't vax it's not that there kids don't get sick it's just they don't run to the Dr. they are more likely to try things like garlic and chiropractors.

The thing that bothered me the most about this story, it seemed like there is only one right way.
As in either you get a degree and have a flex schedule or you have to work your tail off.
If you vax your kids your kids will always be sick

This is how I read the story anyone have a different take?


It was clearly written to promote an anti-vaxxer agenda.
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amother
Yolk


 

Post Thu, Jun 01 2023, 12:37 am
amother Steel wrote:
It was clearly written to promote an anti-vaxxer agenda.


I believe at least one of the editors of Binah is very anti-vax.
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synthy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 01 2023, 12:53 am
I thought the idea of the story had potential, but wasn’t executed well. The writer could’ve chosen a different situation other than vaccinations, something less polarizing but one that people still have strong feelings about. The college situation made more sense.
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