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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
amother
OP
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Sat, Jun 03 2023, 11:48 pm
My son and I have a very good relationship. He often will come to me and tell me he something that happened - that is making him not be able to fall asleep. We talk it through and move on
Last night he came to me and told me
1) he once tried in my bra to see what it was / how it felt
2) he thinks he is bisexual.
Hmmm…
He is a 13 year old boy in a yeshiva ….
So I first told him no matter who you are and whAt you have done- you know we love you.
In terms of the bra- you’re curious - it’s ok
In terms
Of being bi- where did that come from? Who talk about it?
He said a boy in his class said that he is - and now my son thinks he is too… whaaa??
My son said sometimes he finds a why attractive. But what got me thinking is…. If you’re in yeshiva all day and never around girls your age … wouldn’t all boys think other guys are attractive???
1) how do I handle this??
2) how do I know if this is legit?
3) send any advice!!
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BrisketBoss
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Sat, Jun 03 2023, 11:55 pm
A lot of teens have ideas about their s-xuality that they may change later. It's not really helpful to openly doubt them or tell them they're wrong. Just wait and see.
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amother
Ultramarine
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Sun, Jun 04 2023, 12:18 am
Honestly, I think bisexuality is the norm rather than the outlier. Humans finding other humans attractive is very normal. That's why we follow the Torah, because it shows us how to elevate our behaviors over our base instincts.
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amother
Yarrow
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Sun, Jun 04 2023, 12:25 am
Doesn't sound like anything at all abnormal to me. Teens exploring s-xuality is normal.
Communicate that to him and also that he doesn't have to make any life changing decisions right now bh.
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amother
Powderblue
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Sun, Jun 04 2023, 12:40 am
One of my very frum teachers once told us during a class discussion that loads of people are bi.
I just don’t think it’s a big deal.
I’m pretty open with my (older) kids about this being common, and obviously one of those doesn’t have to be acted upon.
I am so glad she said that.
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amother
Bone
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Sun, Jun 04 2023, 5:08 am
if you’re in yeshiva all day and never around girls your age … wouldn’t all boys think other guys are attractive???
In terms of this- I went to an all girls school, was never around boys my age, and wasn't s-xually interested in girls. I thought some were prettier than others, but being in a non-coed school doesn't make someone bisexual.
Your son may be bi, we can't answer that, but I just wanted to share this perspective.
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amother
Kiwi
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Sun, Jun 04 2023, 5:25 am
I think it's more common for women to be bi than for men to be bi
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amother
Fuchsia
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Sun, Jun 04 2023, 6:31 am
And , like my son, he might just be gay and is trying to slowly find his way. Please just be accepting and supportive. It’s hard enough on him as it is
Hugs
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