S/o helping children lose weight ⛔️ trigger warning

amother

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 10:55 am

I’m posting this here because I don’t want to offend anyone.

I see a lot of posters recommending not to put dc on a diet and to not speak about weight loss.

I see this as potentially damaging to not educate dc about metabolism and especially genetics and metabolism especially if some
members of the family are overweight.

I think that any message said in a loving positive way can be well received for a child with a degree of maturity and understanding.

IMHO a child who is overweight needs education about making healthy food choices and increasing activity (not forced of course) while also speaking about portion control (huge).

It can be explained in a gentle way that Hashem makes all bodies beautiful and in different shapes and some bodies like holding onto unhealthy foods more than others. It may not cause health issues right now but it may cause them to feel slow, out of breath, and tired and we want to be as healthy as possible when we are older so we have to put a little thought into what we eat even now.

Then you can go on to give examples of how you make healthy food choices and not indulging on a double portion of ice cream even though it so yummy or how you only have ice cream once a week instead of 2 times a week. And you can also give suggestions on ways to feel full longer such as healthy filling snacks between meals and drinking more water.

BrisketBoss

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 11:05 am

Telling children on their level what certain foods do their body (sugar is fast energy, etc.) is good. The popular IG account Kids Eat in Color has a lot of ideas.

Restricting food, suggesting food restriction, saying some foods are bad/junk/unhealthy--not so great. It may seem logical but ultimately does not build a great relationship with food. Even for overweight kids.

amother

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 11:06 am

You’re absolutely right, all children should get the messaging, but if a parent sees a certain genetic tendency for holding onto calories, the mature child should be made aware with more focus. Especially when they’re growing and thereby using calories at a quicker pace, it’s a great opportunity to create healthy habits for them before they become overweight/obese adults without tools for healthy eating eating

amother

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 11:09 am

BrisketBoss wrote:

.

I hear what you are saying…but I’m trying figure out what damage may come from with saying to not have ice cream or a large chocolate bar every day? Maybe take a bite and save for the next day. It doesn’t mean to never have indulgences but at least to be mindful of the amount of sugar being eaten.

amother

Lightblue

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 11:13 am

In theory you may be right. In reality have you ever known a kid like this? I have a child relative who is about 7 and is overweight and eat tons of food. Multiple bloodwork and checkups all normal. This kid eats more than an adult man. And is very mature. There's nothing to do and nobody to talk to. The best the parents can do is serve healthy food. The kid knows they're fat too. They can't help their appetite. So should they also have body image issues?

amother

Green

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 11:13 am

amother OP wrote:

Say it to everyone. Your overweight kid doesn't need to hear this more than your skinny kid. Everyone needs to know that too much chocolate can give you a stomach ache and life is about balance.

amother

Azalea

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 11:17 am

amother OP wrote:

It can be explained in a gentle way that Hashem makes all bodies beautiful and in different shapes and some bodies like holding onto unhealthy foods more than others.

Everything you say I agree with except for this. There’s no reason to single anyone out or bring appearance into this at all. Every body type benefits by eating healthy, and it isn’t even true that some “hold onto unhealthy foods more than others” unless you’re talking about metabolism but even for skinny people with fast metabolism, unhealthy food still has ill effects on their bodies.

flowerpower

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 11:28 am

I will never single out my chubby kid over all the other ones because he is chubby. It can leave him with lifelong damage. I enlighten him the same way I enlighten his siblings. I encourage him to be more active now that it’s summer out. I make sure to encourage all my kids to as well. Same with food- I talk to him the same way I talk to his siblings. “You just had dinner. How about we cut up some produce to snack on instead of another refill”? He hears the same words his siblings do. They don’t need to live on chocolate either just because their body can afford it.

amother

Beige

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 11:31 am

Hmmm...
Somehow I know all this info and it still doesn't stop me from eating chocolate and ice cream. (Unfortunately.)
Not sure it will have the impact you want on children.
The best you can do is to serve healthy all-rounded dinners so you can model healthy eating habits. Soup, protein, carb & veg. And to have healthy snacks available when they come home from school (fruit salad etc.)

lamplighter

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 11:34 am

Either you tell everyone or you tell no one.
Be honest with yourself if it's truly about health then the same exact chocolate bar has the same unhealthy impact on every body.
Your child will have a better chance at healthy living as an adult if they were not singled out or spoken to about it as a child.

amother

Moonstone

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 11:35 am

OP I agree there needs to be a way to talk about this with children without the fear of causing eating disorders hanging over our heads.
The trend of health at every size and never making any comments about anythinh your child eats has gone too far and isn't serving our children well.
Adults who have had trauma surrounding this I would guess had parents who made these comments without the backdrop of a loving, secure relationship in general.
If you have a very loving and positive relationship, there should be ways of being able to gently guide our children without causing life long damage.
The question is just what and how to say that will actually help and not cause damage.
There needs to be more discussion about this.
I also agree that talking and educating is generally not enough, because the overeating and craving is compulsive and neurological and won't be overridden by cognitive information. And knowing while not being able to control yourself is what causes that guilt/self loathing that can lead down worse paths.

lamplighter

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 11:35 am

amother Beige wrote:

I love this. Information is the not the difference between healthy and unhealthy people.

amother

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 11:54 am

amother Azalea wrote:

Yes, I am speaking about metabolism just saying it in a way a child could understand. I think just as people are born with certain strengths and weaknesses when speaking about middos. Same with physical attributes. So for example, one child has a weakness where they have tendency to get sick a lot and have a lot of colds and some children have a weakness where their metabolism is little slower than their peers. The child who gets sick a lot takes extra vitamins.

amother

Nasturtium

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 12:11 pm

OP you were obviously not an overweight child.

Having said that, I know a girl that was put on a diet since she was 10, she got married and was finally able to eat whatever she wants - she gained 80 pounds in 3 months…

Dieting - even for adults - is hard and has to come from one’s own will. All you can do is support a child trying to diet and make sure there are healthy food options available. Allowing the entire family to have super snack and one child needs to eat cucumber sticks with a metabolism pep talk will cause more bad than good.

amother

Obsidian

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 12:23 pm

If you single out an overweight kid you are doing lifelong damage.

I am a size 4 and have high cholesterol.

Everyone needs to add joyful movement and nutritious foods to their lives. Focus on adding the good things. Make it a family project. Don’t bring weight or size into it at all.

amother

Ginger

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 12:23 pm

amother OP wrote:

I have the talk about sugar... with everyone. why single out one child. op have you ever struggled with your weight?