S/o losing weight. Are you overweight because you weren't ed

amother

Mon, Jun 05 2023, 11:00 am

I'm overweight. Current around 80lbs overweight.
I was a chubby kid and a chubby teen and an overweight adult.
Why am I fat?
Because I stress eat.
Because cake tastes better than an apple.
Because carbs are cheaper than fruits and veggies and way more shelf stable.
Because when things are hectic, it's easier to microwave 2 slices of frozen pizza rather than cut up a salad.
Because I'm lazy.

The one reason I'm overweight is NOT because I didn't or don't know.
I've known since I'm 5 years old that fruit are better than cake, to eat the rainbow, that whole grains are a better choice than white, that lean protein makes me feel fuller.
I know it all. My mother educated me. I educated myself.
And I'm still fat.

Do YOU think education would have made you skinnier?

amother

Mintcream

Mon, Jun 05 2023, 11:09 am

As I like to say, it's my butt that's oversized, not my brain that's undersized! I know full well what's healthy and what's not. I eat too much of what I shouldn't from a combination of laziness, emotional issues, and, well, yeah, it tastes good. Believe you me, I got plenty of education as a kid. Plenty of pressure surrounding foods. Backfired spectacularly. Oh, and I actually do eat plenty of healthy foods too. I love fruits and veggies. Problem is, I also love pasta and pastries.

amother

NeonGreen

Mon, Jun 05 2023, 11:10 am

No.

I am fat because food is my friend. It always there for me. It makes me feel happy. It brightens my day when I am sad. It doesn't let me down or disappoint me. It doesn't call me names. It doesn't mock me.

How did I develop this relationship?
I was s-xually abused through my childhood
My parents have 0 emotional intelligence.
My feelings and opinions were constantly squashed.
My husband is worse than my parents. He is disrespectful of me and my existence.

I have my children (who make me happier than anything and anyone in the world) and my food.

amother

Lightgreen

Mon, Jun 05 2023, 11:11 am

No not at all.
I’m well educated in weight loss I just am an emotional eater and no willpower.
Plus healthy food is out of my budget and I have no time for meal prep.
For one week I was so good and just stayed in the kitchen preparing healthy food well by shabbos I was so exhausted from it.
I have no money to buy healthy prepared food so all is from scratch and I’m so tired from it.
Frozen pizza is so much more easier to prepare.

amother

Alyssum

Mon, Jun 05 2023, 11:21 am

On the contrary: I had dieting advice shoved in my face all through childhood, because I was a slightly pudgy kid (not even medically overweight!)

It gave me a very unhealthy relationship with food. And honestly, most dieting advice makes you lose weight but also your sanity at the same time.

I have been to a weight loss clinic, and they've been helpful, because they focus on what you can change right now. Not aspirational lifestyles. But like "you run out the door in the morning and grab a packaged snack. Switch from a granola bar to a protein bar, it'll keep you full better" sort of advice. Baby steps. And I've lost like 20 lbs from these baby steps so far. So I guess that's knowledge based, but the knowledge is about how to take baby steps, not what a perfect diet would be.

amother

Mon, Jun 05 2023, 11:23 am

amother Alyssum wrote:

Can you share this weight loss clinic.
This sounds like something doable maybe

amother

Alyssum

Mon, Jun 05 2023, 11:42 am

amother OP wrote:

Can you share this weight loss clinic.
This sounds like something doable maybe

It's an in person program through a hospital in my city. But they're not particularly known for being innovative or anything, so I'm sure you could find other similar programs. That said, because it's through a medical setting and not through the diet industry, they are equipped to work with medical or psych issues that may be relevant to losing weight.

I specifically have binge eating disorder, and a lot of my advice was about avoiding the ups and downs of appetite: so I'm supposed to get plenty of protein to avoid becoming too hungry (which can trigger a binge), and I was advised to explore sugar substitutes: I've found an erythritol monkfruit blend tastes decent enough in my morning tea and coffee and doesn't cause an appetite spike, which is an issue with sugar.

But the biggest advice was not to go on a diet. It's to honestly look at what you're eating and make one small, helpful change. Once you've gotten used to that change, make another. Repeat. That way you make sure all your changes are sustainable.

My dad is neurotic and weighs himself daily so that he knows if any diet changes impact his weight. That's excessive, but checking in periodically to see if changes are working does matter though: what sounds good on paper may or may not work IRL. If weighing yourself is triggering, then you probably need to work with an IRL weight loss clinic that can manage these things with you.

amother

Blue

Mon, Jun 05 2023, 11:46 am

No. Education would not have helped. I was educated about health. My mother stuffed it down my throat. Made me feel bad for eating anything under the sun. And not things that were necessarily bad. She always put me down because I was always overweight.
So, no, education would not have helped. I knew it and know it all. But because of all of that shame, I became a closet eater and a major emotional eater. Education would not have done anything.

amother

Cantaloupe

Mon, Jun 05 2023, 11:50 am

There's a whole lot of science and information out there regarding causes, and also things you can do to help such children, in terms of food addictions, sugar and carb cravings, and obesity that falls somewhere in between the misguided "not educated enough" and the equally misguided "its genetic, nothing to do about it".

That's the sad part.

It's also sad to me that parents feel they have to resort to education and possibly restriction, because society isn't willing or ready to give up processed foods.
Nobody mother enjoys taking away cake and ice cream from their kid. Every mother of overweight children wishes there was less cake and ice cream going around so it wouldn't have to be a discussion in the first place.

It's very easy for parents of thin children to sit back and say zip your lips. It's excruciatinly painful for parents of children on their third waist size uniform skirt for the school year warch those kids take third helpings of baked ziti. But ask those mothers to serve fruit and vegetables at their kids birthday party instead of sour sticks and gumballs and they get huffy at you.

amother

Mimosa

Mon, Jun 05 2023, 11:59 am

amother Hibiscus wrote:

I would go one step further.
90% of moms who educate have fat kids. Why? Because it's genetic. The same reason they are into it because they need it, their kids need it as well. Nothing to do with education. Total genetics.

This is so true. I was a beanpole of a kid. I ate cake for breakfast and 7-11 was my second home.

amother

Mimosa

Mon, Jun 05 2023, 12:01 pm

amother Cantaloupe wrote:

There's a whole lot of science and information out there regarding causes, and also things you can do to address it in children, regarding food addictions, sugar and carb cravings, and obesity that are somewhere in between the misguided "not educated enough" and the equally misguided "its genetic, nothing to do about it".
That's the sad part.
It's also sad to me that parents feel they have to resort to education and possibly restriction, because society isn't willing or ready to give up processed foods.
Nobody mother enjoys taking away cake and ice cream from their kid. Every mother of overweight children wishes there was less cake and ice cream going around so it wouldn't have to be a discussion in the first place.
It's very easy for parents of thin children to sit back and say zip your lips. It's excruciatinly painful for parents of children on their third waist size uniform skirt for the school year warch those kids take third helpings of baked ziti. But ask those mothers to serve fruit and vegetables at their kids birthday party instead of sour sticks and gumballs and they get huffy at you.

I have about half thin and half not as thin kids. It’s a fine line to walk. You don’t want to deprive anyone. My current line about cake and candy is that so much sugar is bad for their teeth. This is the same for everyone, so they all have the same snack rules. I don’t want any of my kids to feel less than.

amother

Cantaloupe

Mon, Jun 05 2023, 12:02 pm

amother Mimosa wrote:

Fair enough.

amother

Cantaloupe

Mon, Jun 05 2023, 12:03 pm

amother Pistachio wrote:

I’m not fat because of food at all. I’ve got my thyroid and genes to thank for that. I don’t eat a whole lot.

Thyroid health and obesity "genes" have a whole lot to do with food, even if you're not eating a lot of it.