How do I go to Shul - help please!

amother

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 2:15 am

Imagine a straight line.

I live at one end, Friend lives in the middle, Shul is at the other end. Friend has invited us for Friday night meal and Community brings in early Shabbos.

Halocho says you light where you eat or sleep. Shul starts way before earliest lighting time AND is about half an hour from home. Even if I light at friend's house en route, I'll be very late for Shul. How can this be????

amother

Butterscotch

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 2:23 am

Light at your friend's house and take shabbos in even earlier than everyone. Or make shabbos late.

amother

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 2:42 am

amother Butterscotch wrote:

Light at your friend's house and take shabbos in even earlier than everyone. Or make shabbos late.

I'm not allowed to bring it in earlier! The earliest I can light is about 30 minutes into davening. And I can't make Shabbos late because everyone makes it early and that's when Shul is (and dinner at our hosts will follow accordingly).

amother

Oleander

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 3:26 am

Must you go to shul Friday night? Light at home, spend a little time relaxing in the candlelight, then walk to your friend's house in time to meet DH there after shul.

Or, if you really want to go to shul, AYLOR if you can light at home early al tenai that you aren't accepting Shabbos yet and then walk to shul or have DH drive you before he accepts Shabbos himself.

amother

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 3:54 am

amother Oleander wrote:

THANK YOU for the al tenai suggestion, I'll look into that! Smile

amother

Mintcream

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 4:26 am

wow, I never heard of women going to shul friday night. thats so nice

amother

Butterscotch

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 4:27 am

amother Mintcream wrote:

wow, I never heard of women going to shul friday night. thats so nice

Friday night davening is beautiful!

amother

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 4:39 am

amother Mintcream wrote:

wow, I never heard of women going to shul friday night. thats so nice

It will be if I can figure it out Sad

amother

Brass

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 7:41 am

amother Oleander wrote:

I’m really curious about the bolded.

amother

Iris

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 7:42 am

amother OP wrote:

Why can’t you light at home and daven at home?

amother

Offwhite

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 8:16 am

What does going to the friends house have to do with it? what do you do every other week with lighting at home and timing after shul starts?
I'm under the assumption you go to shul every week?

amother

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 9:25 am

amother Offwhite wrote:

What does going to the friends house have to do with it? what do you do every other week with lighting at home and timing after shul starts?
I'm under the assumption you go to shul every week?

I normally daven at home. Because we are invited out, I want to go to the host's shul (which DH and I also like, and which is further from our home than our Shul).

(The "straight line" is to show that Friend is between us and Shul).

amother

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 1:06 pm

Update: LOR apologetically told me I can't light earlier than the earliest time. So I won't be going to Shul 😞

amother

DarkYellow

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 1:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

Update: LOR apologetically told me I can't light earlier than the earliest time. So I won't be going to Shul 😞

Why not drive to your friend before shabbos, light there and go with her to shul

amother

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 1:11 pm

amother DarkYellow wrote:

Why not drive to your friend before shabbos, light there and go with her to shul

By the time I've lit there ( about half an hour after davening starts) and walked to Shul, it'll be almost over! But thank you x

amother

Crystal

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 2:00 pm

When making shabbos at plag, which it sounds is like what you do, you cannot light and go to shul. It doesn't work.
On my shul's weekly email with the zmanim it specifically says the early minyan does not work for one who lights candles because the davening starts 10-15 minutes before the earliest time permitted to light.

amother

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 2:02 pm

amother Crystal wrote:

Yup, that seems to sum it up...

DrMom

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 3:29 pm

amother OP wrote:

By the time I've lit there ( about half an hour after davening starts) and walked to Shul, it'll be almost over! But thank you x

I don't understand. What does your friend do when she wants to go to shul?

amother

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 3:55 pm

She can't go either. We are now both lighting at her house and davening there. Quite a paradox that we can't go to Shul because we're Jewish!

amother

Arcticblue

Tue, Jun 06 2023, 4:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

She can't go either. We are now both lighting at her house and davening there. Quite a paradox that we can't go to Shul because we're Jewish!

So Daven out loud with her and make it beautiful yourselves