I need Chizuk-babysitter issues.

Tulip

Mon, Jul 07 2008, 2:07 pm

My babysitter gave up on my baby. He is crying too much. I feel terrible and am hesitant to send him to someone else. For now he is with me in the office. Summer is a little quiet so it is not so bad. He has been with my mother until 8.5 months. Then by the babysitter until 10 months. And now boom! When I thought that he was finally adjusting! I wish that I wouldn't need to work so that I can stay home with him. though I am not complaining. B"H I have a good job and I can keep him with me too in emergencies. Thank you Hashem!!

My question is. When I find a babysitter that I trust. How can I make it esier for my baby to adjust. Any suggestions?
Here is what I was thinking. I should go over for a few days and play with him there and then take him home. Like this he gets to know her and the environment. Then I will leave him there. Someone told me that this is the worst thing to do. I was very discouraged. I need some good PROFESSIONAL ANSWERS.

SORRY THIS IS SO LONG!

Leahh

Mon, Jul 07 2008, 2:53 pm

I'm sorry I don't really have any advice for you on how to get your baby to behave at the babysitter but I do know of some babysitters if your interested pm me.

yo'ma

Mon, Jul 07 2008, 3:05 pm

Let me tell you what they do here in the school for the little kids. The mother or father (really the mother Wink

) stays with their child in the classroom until the child feels comfortable. Then the parent waits outside, and the child knows that the parent is outside. They do this or something like it for 2-3 days and then the child usually feels more comfortable. B"h, my children are okay with going away, but some mothers have to stay a few more day, if necessary. You can try something like that.
I disagree with what your friend said because that's pretty much what they do here all the time.

ora_43

Mon, Jul 07 2008, 6:45 pm

I'm not sure what you mean by "professional answer," but I'll try my best Wink

.

I think your plan sounds great. I've found that the more familiar my dd is with a babysitter, the better she is while I'm gone. Also, by staying around for the first few days you can get a better sense of the babysitter, see how she interacts with your child, see if his crying rattles her or if she's OK, if she seems to genuinely enjoy him, etc. One thing that I've found is really important is for your child to see you interacting well with the babysitter. If you're talking to her, smiling, things like that, the baby sees that this (the babysitter) is a good person who mommy trusts, so he feels OK to start trusting her as well. (At least that's my theory of what's going on, my dd never explained it to me in so many words, but she's definitely more comfortable with the people she sees that I like).

supermommy

Mon, Jul 07 2008, 8:27 pm

I babysit, and all I can say is that it's a great idea to spend 2-3 days just playing with your child there. When you finally do leave he may or may not cry but the transition will be alot easier. Try to bring some familiar things from home and just give it a little time. But most importantly keep in mind that YOU know your child best and notice how your child reacts to seperation. Does your child get winier and more worked up the longer you stay (and he knows you are leaving)? Maybe if he is easily distracted a quick exit while he is playing may work best. Or maybe he prefers to first feel secure with your presence and then will happily play with the toys.

raizy

Mon, Jul 14 2008, 3:13 pm

sorry that would drive me crazy. I dont mind when parents come to pick up unexpexcted or call every few minietes. but to watch me a whole day ... I hate it. I even hate to havemy cleaning lady in my house a whole day.. like u are untruding in my space.

what u should know is that some kids are not "babysittalble"they love their mommies and that is it. other love to nurse. so if mommy is not there who will nurse them. others dont love a bottle. does your kids take a bottle. I find that the ones that take a bottle are the ones that are best behaved etc. at least u can get some food into them.

I had plenty of nursed kids who took a bootle bye me and at home nursed away. so it can work.

and some babies are colicky at home and at the babysitter there is no difference only at home the mother cant just say no more. whereas the babysitter can say no more.I did kick out a baby that cried non stop and wouldnt want to eat.at all.

flowerpower

Mon, Jul 14 2008, 3:19 pm

The babysitting and her surroundings have to click with the baby. If the baby hates change, noise, loud voices, action then make sure to look for a quiet soft spoken babysitter who has very little activity going on(meaning people comming and going and dropping off and picking up...) If he likes action and you think that would help him stay busy and quiet then opt for a more active babysitter.
Send along things that he likes like his favorite toy, sippy cup, his own stroller to sit in the first few days for security, blanket....

pacifier

Mon, Jul 14 2008, 3:29 pm

I once babysatt a baby who only wanted to be held, and I just couldn't hold a baby for hours non stop!! so the baby ended up crying a lot....
before you look for another babysitter, try to understand why your baby was crying so much; could be he wants undivided attention, in which case you'll have to find a babysitter who only keeps one baby(but it'll cost you more); or your baby wants to stay home, sleep in his crib, play with his toys.....
I think now that your baby is 10 months old, he should get a bit easier to deal with, between drinks/cookies/activities....
by the way, how was your baby with your mother? did he need a lot of attention? did you stay longer?did he have his own place/toys.....