Summer bedtime for 9-11 year olds

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amother

Sat, Jul 15 2023, 10:23 pm

What time do your kids go to sleep and if they have a late/r bedtime do they wake up late too?
My little ones are up by 7- the latest and wake the older kids (not like the sleep past 8-8:30 either way, no matter what time they go to sleep.)
I ask my kids to come home by 9- so they can shower and get to bed by 9:30- they’re exhausted and falling from their nose, but it still takes them time to unwind and fall asleep. Apparently, I’m the odd one out and the other kids prance around till 11 or so.
On a scale from 1-10 how mean of a mom am I?

(No, my neighbors don’t deal with my cranky tired kids. Just me, myself and I as my husband works at bedtime. They also won’t be the one dealing with the recurrent strep and antibiotics fallout my kids tend to get from lack of sleep).

amother

Apricot

Sat, Jul 15 2023, 10:27 pm

Sleep is important for their health. I don’t see why they should sleep so little just because it’s summer. My kids that age have a 9:30 bedtime all year round.

amother

Darkblue

Sat, Jul 15 2023, 11:09 pm

Where are your kids out at 9 pm? My kids that age go to sleep by 9/9:30.

amother

Sat, Jul 15 2023, 11:24 pm

amother Darkblue wrote:

Where are your kids out at 9 pm? My kids that age go to sleep by 9/9:30.

In the bungalow colony.
Motzei shabbos is the worst. Kids out till past midnight. My kids don’t nap and are upset they miss out on the “night activity”. For heavens sake, these kids have been out for 12 hours already today playing.

miami85

Sat, Jul 15 2023, 11:43 pm

It really varies from kid to kid, when I learned when my kids were in preschool that normal sleep for 3-5 was 10-13 hours--and my kids seemed to be on the 10 side, they would go to sleep from 9-7 and would function and not be cranky, I learned that there was no rush to get my kids to sleep. Now they are older and for their age 6-13 is 9-12 hours so for them going to bed at 10-11pm and waking up at 7-8am (even later because they get up at 9, camp starts at 10) isn't a stretch for them.

amother

Lightgray

Sun, Jul 16 2023, 12:17 am

amother OP wrote:

I let my kids have it in the summer. I'm not strict with bedtime. My kids that age go to sleep at around 10:00, and on motzei shabbos, usually at midnight or even later, and we're not in a bungalow colony. I can just imagine how much harder it is in the bungalow. I grew up going in the bungalow and have the fondest memories of the fun we had at night. We used to go in after my mom was already asleep and my dad came to shoo us in.

amother

DarkPurple

Sun, Jul 16 2023, 12:22 am

We are pretty strict with bedtime all year round... In the summer it's a little later, but my 9 Year old needs to be home by 7:30/8. In bed latest by 8:30. She's not always sleeping by 9, but more often then not she is. My 10 year old can't fall asleep before 9 and gets ready for bed much quicker. She needs to be home by 8:30 and usually in bed by 9/9:30. Both wake up usually between 6:30 and 7 all year round.

It's obvious when they don't get enough sleep....

giftedmom

Sun, Jul 16 2023, 12:27 am

My kids do eventually adjust to bungalow colony timing. Which means they can sleep til 9-10 while in the city they’re up by 7-8. So letting them go to sleep two hours later makes sense. It’s two months and they’ll be in camp before they know it. I try to let it go and not stress.

ruchelbuckle

Wed, Jul 19 2023, 6:55 am

Quote:

On a scale from 1-10 how mean of a mom am I.

I think you are probably the meanest mother ever. In fact, if you Google "mean mother" -- I think there is a picture of you!😬

AlwaysGrateful

Wed, Jul 19 2023, 10:12 am

I'm feeling really mean now. During the school year my 11 year old is in bed by 8. In the summer we're a little more flexible...which means 8:30 the latest.

But then again, it looks like your kids sleep in the next day when they're up late. Mine definitely don't. Still up at 6:30 or so.

amother

Emerald

Wed, Jul 19 2023, 11:25 am

AlwaysGrateful wrote:

I guess you don’t live right near neighbors.
Kids that age are generally enjoying the fresh air- especially in the summer when there is no school. (Even when there is school but it becomes warm outside and gets dark later)

Your son would be made fun of if he had a strict early bedtime like that. If you don’t live right near friends, they obviously won’t know but most kids that age are not in bed so early.
Earliest I heard of for an 11 year old is 9pm.

Your not being mean (unless you are causing your child to be a constant laughing stock) but he would probably appreciate the privilege of being able to stay up a little longer since he really is a big boy. They are not as tired as a 6 year old is at 8-8:30 when they are already 11.

amother

Lightgray

Wed, Jul 19 2023, 11:33 am

AlwaysGrateful wrote:

I wouldn't mind if it gets night earlier in the house, but I can't make my kids come in early when everyone their age, and younger, are outside till 9:30 at least. It's the summer, I let go. I want my kids to have fond memories just like I do.

mha3484

Wed, Jul 19 2023, 11:42 am

AlwaysGrateful wrote:

My 12 year old and also when he was 11 isnt even home at 8 to go to bed. He learns most nights and gets home 8:30-9 depending on what the nights incentive is. If he is home he is really not tired at 8. That is a very early bed time for a kid that age but if it works for you why mess with it. A kid this age needs 9-12 hours of sleep.

To the OP I am not in a bungalow and am very laid back about bedtime in the summer but to me winding down around 9 so likely being in bed by 10 seems very reasonable and not mean.

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