"Making a Blessing"

anonymom

Thu, Jul 10 2008, 7:49 pm

On the way back from the ladies room to my office, I have enough time to say Asher Yatzar, but I almost never do, for fear I will bump into someone in the hallway. Today, I decided, I'm going to say it. As I'm coming around the corner, I bump into someone, who was actually coming out of my office. She had been looking for me. So she starts talking to me while I am finishing my bracha. She is Jewish, and even makes a Seder, not real frum. She looks at me and says, "Are you alright?" I said, "I was just saying a blessing." If I have to bench at work, I do it as fast as I can always afraid someone will start talking to me.

NotInNJMommy

Thu, Jul 10 2008, 7:53 pm

Yup, me too.

I also rarely bring bread for that reason and also, bc it's complicated to find somewhere appropriate (not the bathroom) to wash.

At least if I'm bentsching after a meal, I have a siddur out, and people get the drift.

Such are some of the challenges of working in the velt.

cdawnr

Fri, Jul 11 2008, 6:47 am

Go to your office, pick up the phone, make the blessing.

People will think you are on the phone

Smile

freidasima

Fri, Jul 11 2008, 6:49 am

Good idea...also, how long does it take to say asher yotzar? Just timed myself now (not using shem hashem...) slowly and with kavvono, 20 seconds...that's how long it takes me to walk from the restroom to my office...benching is another problem...I like the pick up the phone business...

shalhevet

Fri, Jul 11 2008, 6:54 am

You know, it's like anything strange.

The first time everyone gawks, the second they look out of the corner of their eye, and by the third time it's part of the scenery.... People search high and low for segulas, so why neglect the power of a mitzva?

The only time I went to London with dh he realised that he would have to daven on the Underground platform since we wouldn't reach my parents' home until after the time for davenning had passed. So he puts on tallis and tefillin. He is Israeli so it's no big deal, but I was not exactly used to guys davenning on the Underground. I look around and no one seems to even notice. I asked my mother afterwards and she said that today there are so many different and exotic religions, lifestyles etc, that no one even bats an eyelash.

SingALong

Fri, Jul 11 2008, 6:57 am

I worked in a psychiatric hospital for 3 months so there was no way I was going to walk down the hall after the bathroom saying asher yatzer and risk teh workers thinking who knows what when I mumble to myself. I covered my mouth with my hand and benched in private.

freidasima

Fri, Jul 11 2008, 7:05 am

Shalhevet I laughed at your descriptions. Dh has davened in very strange places. He had to be in england for a conference over chanukah a few years ago and he and a few other frum men were in Terminal 4 (isn't that the one that goes to all the arab countries) as they were flying BA;, and they were sent to the "religious room" to light...turns out it was full of moslems using it at that moment as a mosque...and they weren't too friendly to a bunch of yidden who wanted to light chanukah lecht...

Davening shachris at airports, kids play..not the best thing to do in abu dabi but it's even been done there...(not by dh..)

happyone

Fri, Jul 11 2008, 9:09 am

cdawnr wrote:

Go to your office, pick up the phone, make the blessing.

People will think you are on the phone

Smile

You know the story of the guy in the aiport that wanted to daven mincha. He picked up the phone (In a long row of phone booths) and "davened" for a while. When he finished he noticed several people pointing at him --- the phone cord was cut and he was talking into an unattached phone. Very Happy

AlwaysGrateful

Fri, Jul 11 2008, 9:46 am

I'm a little bit bothered by this thread. I understand how everyone feels, really I do. I work in a secular office. I went to a secular college. Neither of these were in NY - they were out of town, in a place where many people have never seen an orthodox jew before.

I'm proud of my religion. When people ask "What is sukkos?" (because I'm taking off for it), I have no problem explaining it to them. People have asked me "Why can't you eat that - there's no ham in chocolate!" and I've answered that too.

I usually say asher yatzar at my desk, because I find I can have more kavanna there than right outside of the bathroom. (And I dunno...mumbling it under my breath while navigating back to my cubical doesn't seem like the best way to have kavana.)

But as for benching, I tape a sign to the back of my chair that says "Short Prayer Break - Please come back in 2 minutes." That way, if someone comes in, they know I'm "praying" and won't bother me. They also know I'm not "slacking" - two minutes of prayer is hardly taking advantage.

Why are we embarassed? Muslims will roll out prayer rugs wherever they are. I've seen people meditating in odd contortions out in public (in a field or a park). This just reminds me too much of people who "can't wear yarmulkes at work" because who knows what people will say. That might have been a good cheshbon in America 70 years ago - I don't know. But nowadays, in our "live and let live" society? Why not be proud? (I'm not saying to flaunt our religion, but that's different from hiding it!)

Disclaimer - I'm not bashing people who find this hard. I've found this hard too. But it's something I feel pretty strongly about, and something I've worked on. It just felt so WRONG to hide things, like I felt guilty about them, like I cared that they would think I was "weird." What do I care? I'm talking to Hashem right now - and He's more important than any of my coworkers. That's all I'm saying...

cdawnr

Fri, Jul 11 2008, 11:28 am

I think part of it, when I worked in a secul. co, wsa also the awkwardness of someone talking to you and not responding. It goes against a natural poiteness grain and can make some people really uncomfortable.

anonymom

Fri, Jul 11 2008, 12:57 pm

cdawnr you hit the nail on the head. That is exactly what I was talking about. Thank you.