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DH drowned, BDE, edited to: a widow’s musings…
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NechaMom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 27 2023, 1:49 am
amother OP wrote:
Thank you so so much for your heartfelt words.

You ask what you can do.

B”H my husband a”h has many friends taking care of whatever needs to be done.

If I may ask, if you still have energy in this busy season to do something…

My friend created the graphics, another friend’s husband uploaded it for me, since my brain has turned to mush…

https://chayabraun.com/brachos/

Print these Asher Yatzer to hang outside all of your bathrooms.

Want to do more? Print them for your family and friends?

Want to do even more? Suggest how I can improve the page, get the page more publicity, as a Zchus for my husband taken so suddenly in the prime of his life.
ר׳ מנחם מענדל ז״ל בן ר׳ אברהם מרדכי נ״י

I just filled out a Yeshiva application for my son. Parents marital status: married, divorced, widowed, widower.

OUCH!!!!!!!!!

A student of his from almost 20 years ago just texted me Erev YK, he’d googled and found my business number: “Hi, I haven’t spoken to the rabbi in ages, what’s his phone number”

He’s had this cell number for at least 12 years. I had to reply and tell him that he was nearly 4 weeks too late, but DH would’ve loved to have heard from him! And then I got a slew of texts from that old chevra who hadn’t heard.

OUCH!!!!!!

My boys just bought Arba Minim tonight. They discussed Tatty’s way of keeping the Aravos fresh. They lay their lulavim across the dining room table, tied the knots to hold the Hadasim and Aravos, as they do every year, I’m usually in the background in the kitchen while they do this; why was I the only parent with them as they compared esrogim?????????

Ouch is right!!!!
I wish Hashem already answers all the whys and brings an end to your pain as well as the pain of all of klal yisroel with the coming of Moshiach.
My heart breaks for you and your children! I wish we can just make it go away!
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batya100




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 27 2023, 1:59 am
OP, you are so authentic!
I'm crying reading your honest words.
I'm davening for you to have strength, you have such special qualities that shine through your posts!
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TranquilityAndPeace




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 09 2023, 6:52 pm
It’s been over two months.

Sometimes I can faintly see the light ahead.

Sometimes I beg HaShem to take me instead and bring him back.

I cleaned out the bottom cabinet of our night table. I don’t know if I ever did that. We throw the cards we write each other in there. There’s a few hundred. I read about 20 then had to stop. One was a long apology card I wrote, can’t recall what I’d done.

Towards the bottom of the pile were a bunch of nursing pads! Our youngest is 10! That got a few laughs. My SIL asked me why I’d saved them. I told her that I didn’t, we’d just thrown cards on top of them!
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 09 2023, 6:58 pm
TranquilityAndPeace, I've been thinking about you. Just putting one foot in front of the other probably takes everything out of you. ❤️🫂❤️
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Bleemee




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 09 2023, 6:58 pm
TranquilityAndPeace wrote:
It’s been over two months.

Sometimes I can faintly see the light ahead.

Sometimes I beg HaShem to take me instead and bring him back.

I cleaned out the bottom cabinet of our night table. I don’t know if I ever did that. We throw the cards we write each other in there. There’s a few hundred. I read about 20 then had to stop. One was a long apology card I wrote, can’t recall what I’d done.

Towards the bottom of the pile were a bunch of nursing pads! Our youngest is 10! That got a few laughs. My SIL asked me why I’d saved them. I told her that I didn’t, we’d just thrown cards on top of them!
Hugs TAP 😘
Hamakom yenachem eschem…
He’s the only One who can…
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Tova




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 09 2023, 7:01 pm
T&P I was bdavka thinking about you today since today I was in the kids clothing store (for the first time in years) that has the gorgeous portrait to you did featuring your knh adorable daughter in all those dresses amd positions. Portrait is still hanging on the wall. I said a tefillah that your entire family have a nechama. We haven't forgotten about your personal tragedy admidst klal yisroel's tragedy.
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amother




Daisy
 

Post Thu, Nov 09 2023, 7:02 pm
TranquilityAndPeace wrote:
It’s been over two months.

Sometimes I can faintly see the light ahead.

Sometimes I beg HaShem to take me instead and bring him back.

I cleaned out the bottom cabinet of our night table. I don’t know if I ever did that. We throw the cards we write each other in there. There’s a few hundred. I read about 20 then had to stop. One was a long apology card I wrote, can’t recall what I’d done.

Towards the bottom of the pile were a bunch of nursing pads! Our youngest is 10! That got a few laughs. My SIL asked me why I’d saved them. I told her that I didn’t, we’d just thrown cards on top of them!


Oh my, I didn't know that this was you. I'm so sorry. My father was niftar when I was a child and I was hurting so much for you and your kids when I read this thread as it was happening. Now I'm so sad to see that this is a poster who I respect so much. I'm not good about remembering which poster is which, but you are quite memorable in that you're always so respectful and nice to everyone here.

From everything I've read about your husband since this happened, it's obvious that he was just as special as you. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hashem should help you and your precious children to have the strength you need to get through this.

I love your story about the pile of cards. I hope you keep them forever and take them out periodically to reread them.
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NechaMom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 09 2023, 7:03 pm
TranquilityAndPeace wrote:
It’s been over two months.

Sometimes I can faintly see the light ahead.

Sometimes I beg HaShem to take me instead and bring him back.

I cleaned out the bottom cabinet of our night table. I don’t know if I ever did that. We throw the cards we write each other in there. There’s a few hundred. I read about 20 then had to stop. One was a long apology card I wrote, can’t recall what I’d done.

Towards the bottom of the pile were a bunch of nursing pads! Our youngest is 10! That got a few laughs. My SIL asked me why I’d saved them. I told her that I didn’t, we’d just thrown cards on top of them!

I was thinking about you the other day. With the war going on and major catastrophic events for the Jews we cannot forget those who suffer privately in their daily life. It must be double hard for you!
Hoping for Moshiach to reveal himself real quick so your DH can come back home again! Hug
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amother




Opal
 

Post Thu, Nov 09 2023, 7:14 pm
I've also been thinking about you.
During these scary times, we think much more about our loved ones and imagine being on the run. At least I do.
And then I thought about you.
I hope you are well and know that we are all here for you.
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amother




Mistyrose
 

Post Thu, Nov 09 2023, 7:21 pm
I’ve been thinking about you here in Lakewood the last few weeks. Literally just yesterday…
I love how you always inject a little humor amidst the deep pain.
My youngest is 11 and I also have a half empty box of nursing pads! Thought I was the only one…
May Hashem give you continued strength and send you lots of nachas from your children.
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sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 09 2023, 8:58 pm
Hugs. I think about you every day.
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BH Yom Yom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 09 2023, 9:01 pm
Thinking about you TAP, and wishing you strength and healing and nechama. 💔 I love that you and your husband zt”l wrote each other cards and notes and saved them. I hope the notes continue to bring you some comfort, even though only Hashem can fill the tremendous void in your heart and life.

May bias moshiach and techiyas hameisim happen already!

Thinking of you and sending support.
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Highstrung




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 09 2023, 9:13 pm
I think about you all the time. I literally thought of you yesterday as I was sitting on my couch and crying about the stupid stuff happening in my life. I just started sobbing , in front of my kids , shamelessly and that is when I thought of you , that you might be sitting and crying every night , alone and I sent up a little prayer to HaShem that he should take good care of you. Your post today made me laugh. It’s amazing that you could do that . Even amidst your deep pain you bring smiles to everyone else . You’re so awesome, but we already knew that about you !
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amother




Pewter
 

Post Thu, Nov 09 2023, 9:28 pm
Just seeing the word widow makes me so sad. I hope you have a good strong shoulder to cry on TAP. I hope someone is there to give you the hug in person that all of us so badly want to give you
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amother




Honeysuckle
 

Post Thu, Nov 09 2023, 10:35 pm
😔
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DallasIma




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 10 2023, 3:35 pm
TranquilityAndPeace wrote:
It’s been over two months.

Sometimes I can faintly see the light ahead.

Sometimes I beg HaShem to take me instead and bring him back.

I cleaned out the bottom cabinet of our night table. I don’t know if I ever did that. We throw the cards we write each other in there. There’s a few hundred. I read about 20 then had to stop. One was a long apology card I wrote, can’t recall what I’d done.

Towards the bottom of the pile were a bunch of nursing pads! Our youngest is 10! That got a few laughs. My SIL asked me why I’d saved them. I told her that I didn’t, we’d just thrown cards on top of them!


As a fellow widow (tomorrow is his 2nd yahrzeit), I feel for you so, so much. I also had to gather up all the cards we had sent each other over the years. And so much other stuff and I'm nowhere near finished with cleanout. I know all of these feelings - one day seeing the light ahead, one day wishing it was me instead. May Hashem heal you and comfort you and make the light brighter and brighter for you. Sending love and hugs. Have a good Shabbos. Hug Heart
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TranquilityAndPeace




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Nov 10 2023, 3:38 pm
Thank you all so so much!💕

Baruch HaShem I’m visiting a wonderful cousin for Shabbos. I’m the guest room we stayed in last winter together when we came here.

I just finished the dental floss that I opened after the accident. Which means time is rushing by. Or I use too much floss.

Gut Shabbos!
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amother




Clematis
 

Post Sun, Nov 12 2023, 6:44 pm
TAP , I’ve been thinking of you and your family. I’m still saying Asher yatzar with more kavana, and think of your family and your husband a”h . May Hshem continue to grant you comfort and strength.
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amother




Hawthorn
 

Post Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:17 pm
Just wanted to share that we hung up thr Asher Yatzar signs around the house, they’re beautiful. May his neshama have an Aliya through all these tefillos. Thinking of you so much and sending you hugs and strength
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ThankfulMomma




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Nov 12 2023, 10:06 pm
May Hashem give you ko’ach to care for yourself and your children!
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