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Forum -> Working Women

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amother

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 10:35 am

I have 4 young kids and I need to work in order to pay for things-we can’t function on one income. I currently have a job that I absolutely hate-I am being constantly bullied by my boss whose expectations don’t align with reality. However, she is frum and the business is hers. With that of course comes the flexibility of understanding that when my kids are sick I have to take off, carpools, shabbos, holidays etc. how are frum women supposed to find jobs that can accommodate such things without having to work for a frum company? I can’t stand my job it’s destroying me physically and mentally but where else can I go? Even if I have the skills to go elsewhere-which I do-I’ll never be able to have the accommodations I need I order to live a frum lifestyle. I feel like crying-just feeling stuck.

amother

Snowdrop

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 10:54 am

Your other option is to work in a non frum environment and have a nanny or someone who is able to do all those tasks. You pay for the flexibility with other things.

amother

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 10:56 am

amother Snowdrop wrote:

Your other option is to work in a non frum environment and have a nanny or someone who is able to do all those tasks. You pay for the flexibility with other things.

Perhaps for sick kids, but where I’m from nanny’s don’t drive to do carpools. Not sure how a nanny will help with getting off time for holidays and shabbos..

amother

Firebrick

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 11:02 am

You don't need to work for frum to have a good family/work balance. You just need to find a company that understands work/life balance.

I work for the federal government. I have sick leave (that I can use for myself or any family member), vacation time, etc. I do have to make up for yom tov/erev shabbos if I don't want to use my vacation time for those, but it's not a 9-5 job. I have to put in hours any way I want between 6 AM and 6PM. I go in earlier on erev shabbos/yom tov so I can end early. I can disappear for an hour and stay an hour later in the day to drive a carpool.

My husband has worked for multiple private non jewish companies. Shabbos was never an issue. He told them he needs to take off a few hours before and they said as long as the work gets done they don't care. He has unlimited paid time off, with the expectation he won't take advantage. Yom tov is never an issue (though he works chol hamoed).

But you have to be committed for the job too. They expect a certain number of hours and for the work to get done.

Where I live, there are plenty of people who drive to and from school for pay and people pay them instead of driving carpool. There are many frum women who work for non-frum companies and make it work. It's not easy, but if there is a will there is a way to make it work.

amother

Snowdrop

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 11:02 am

amother OP wrote:

Perhaps for sick kids, but where I’m from nanny’s don’t drive to do carpools. Not sure how a nanny will help with getting off time for holidays and shabbos..

People pay to have someone drive their kids. I personally walk in right before shabbos and holidays in the winter. Some companies will allow you to come in early to leave early or work through lunch etc...

watergirl

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 11:05 am

amother OP wrote:

Perhaps for sick kids, but where I’m from nanny’s don’t drive to do carpools. Not sure how a nanny will help with getting off time for holidays and shabbos..

A lot of us who work in non-frum offices juggle a lot to make a full time (40-hour) work week work. It means paying a carpool driver, not driving myself. When my kids were little, it also meant the carpool driver dropped them off at a group and yes, my kids hated it and it was for less than 20 mins a day, but they hated it. I leave my house at 7am to get to work at 7:30, and leave at 3:30 so I can be home on time and now that my kids are older, it works out much better. My husband davens neitz or at home depending on the time of the year so he is home to get the kids to school, and then he goes to his full time job.

I work early on Fridays so I can stop working at 2 in the winter and get home at 2:30 (depending on if I'm able to work from home on Fridays, I cant always swing it). I work on chol hamoed. PTO for yontiv.

Those of us in a workplace like mine manage just fine and yes, it's hard and yes, it's frustrating when I read on here about the high salaries for few hours in Lakewood. But BH I have a great benefits plan through work and this pays the bills.

There is this idea that a frum women CAN NOT work a full time job. It's just not true. It's hard and you have to juggle, but if you have to, you make it work.

amother

Catmint

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 11:06 am

amother Firebrick wrote:

This! I have worked for the federal gov and for private companies. I've always been accommodated for family needs and religious needs. Work life balance is becoming very big in the secular world.

watergirl

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 11:08 am

amother Catmint wrote:

This! I have worked for the federal gov and for private companies. I've always been accommodated for family needs and religious needs. Work life balance is becoming very big in the secular world.

This. My work accommodates by letting me start my workday at 7:30 in the morning. They are also understanding if one of my kids is sick, even more, so since Covid and work from home is possible when needed.

amother

Lightcyan

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 11:12 am

The non frum corporation that I work for has a better attitude towards family life, holidays and personal time than any frum business that I’ve ever worked for .
They are so much more accommodating, provide fantastic benefits and incentives . You need 100% commitment to your job and always do the work and meet deadlines. But there is lots of flexibility when it comes to taking time off or caring for our children. You need to work for a company that has that culture .

amother

Crimson

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 11:21 am

I agree with the consensus on this thread that working for a non frum company is a great way to go these days. I have a lot more paid time off than my friends who work for frum companies and my boss doesn’t make it stressful for me when I use it. My boss actually reminds us to use our paid time off! The company values work life balance. It leads to better employees.

amother

Nasturtium

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 12:22 pm

Do any of you have recommendations where I can look for such a kind of job? I'm also looking for a new job, and in a similar position to OP except my place has no flexibility. I don't care if I work for Jewish or non Jewish. Where can I look?

watergirl

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 12:25 pm

amother Nasturtium wrote:

Where do you live and what are your skills, and what is your work experience? Degree?

amother

Broom

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 12:31 pm

You can also try to find a better frum work environment. My last job was in a frum company, but it was a very toxic work environment. Bh I found a new job working in a different frum company and it is so pleasant. I love my new job. I did a lot of research about my boss and coworkers before I took the job.

amother

Nemesia

Thu, Aug 31 2023, 12:47 pm

amother OP wrote:

Where do you live and what sort of experience do you have?

amother

Poinsettia

Wed, Oct 18 2023, 3:14 pm

watergirl wrote:

Where do you live and what are your skills, and what is your work experience? Degree?

You have to have a degree to work in a non Jewish company?

I'm looking for a job for more than 2 months and can't find! It's crazy hard now...

I live in Monroe NY.

amother

Catmint

Wed, Oct 18 2023, 3:57 pm

amother Poinsettia wrote:

You have to have a degree to work in a non Jewish company?

I'm looking for a job for more than 2 months and can't find! It's crazy hard now...

I live in Monroe NY.

You don't always have to have a degree, but if you have one that might help people give your better direction.

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