I feel like such a mean mommy

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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amother

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 8:43 am

DS is 19 months and I’m 7 months pregnant BH. Spending a lot of time in the bathroom these days (thanks, hormones Mad

) and sometimes DS is screaming for several minutes while I’m trying my best to finish up and go to him. He’s fed and changed and he just is unhappy to be by himself in the crib. He figured out how to climb out of the pack n play so the crib is the option that keeps him contained and safe when I or DH are not available to be in his room with him.

When I’m around with him, I play with him, sing to him, read him books, tickle him, etc. so I try to make our time together connected and positive, but I just feel so guilty that my body is being so uncooperative and often prevents me from being able to respond right away when he cries. Sad

Any tips or support welcome, TIA.

bsy

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 8:57 am

You put him in the crib so you can use the bathroom? Or he's there from before?

mom24.7

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 8:58 am

Why don't you take him with you to the bathroom?

amother

Powderblue

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 9:00 am

Why can’t he play in his room while your in the bathroom?

amother

Black

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 9:00 am

OP, you're doing good. You can talk to him from that bathroom that mommy is coming in a minute.

amother

Black

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 9:01 am

mom24.7 wrote:

Why don't you take him with you to the bathroom?

Why yes? We're allowed to have our privacy in the bathroom. It's ok if toddler cries for afew minutes.

amother

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 9:02 am

bsy wrote:

You put him in the crib so you can use the bathroom? Or he's there from before?

Depends, sometimes I put him there with toys or books and he’s usually happy for a few minutes but then he gets bored. Sometimes he’s there already and then after I’m already in the bathroom trying to do my business he decides he’s unhappy and start screaming.

amother

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 9:03 am

mom24.7 wrote:

Why don't you take him with you to the bathroom?

He gets into everything, and this is a way to keep him safe and contained so he doesn’t climb up the walls, etc.

amother

Black

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 9:03 am

amother OP wrote:

It's ok, you're not mean. As long as the child is safe, don't feel bad about going to the bathroom. Even if he's crying for afew minutes. It's ok. Don't allow anyone to make you feel guilty about this. You're doing fine.

amother

Tulip

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 9:04 am

mom24.7 wrote:

Why don't you take him with you to the bathroom?

I know many moms do this, but I never did. I feel entitled to use the bathroom in peace. Op seems to want to also, and so long as OP has ensured that her child is safe - which she has - what's the problem. Her child can survive a few minutes of being alone in the crib. No reason to feel guilty about it IMO.

OP, you sound like an extremely loving and involved mother. No need to feel bad about using the bathroom.

amother

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 9:04 am

amother Powderblue wrote:

Why can’t he play in his room while your in the bathroom?

That’s what I try to get him to do, but if he’s not in the crib, he will open the door to his room and run around the house and climb up the bookshelves and the table etc. I’m nervous about him falling or otherwise hurting himself c”v.

bsy

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 9:04 am

amother OP wrote:

I just bring my babies to the bathroom with me. Easier and faster

amother

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 9:05 am

amother Black wrote:

OP, you're doing good. You can talk to him from that bathroom that mommy is coming in a minute.

When I’m in the bathroom on the same floor as him, I try to do that, sometimes I am in the bathroom on a different floor and he wouldn’t be able to hear me I don’t think. Sad

amother

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 9:05 am

amother Black wrote:

Thank you 💗

amother

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 9:06 am

bsy wrote:

I just bring my babies to the bathroom with me. Easier and faster

I used to be able to do that before he was so mobile!

bsy

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 9:07 am

amother OP wrote:

I used to be able to do that before he was so mobile!

Stick him in the bath with bath toys?

amother

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 9:07 am

amother Tulip wrote:

Thank you so much. I guess I’m just worried about him feeling abandoned that it takes me a little while sometimes to come to his room when my stomach is being uncooperative.

amother

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 9:08 am

bsy wrote:

Stick him in the bath with bath toys?

He climbs out and tries to climb the walls, stand on the bathtub edge, turn on the tub faucet, etc. 😬

bsy I really appreciate that you’re taking time to give suggestions, I hope it doesn’t seem like I’m shooting them down. DS is kah just a very active and independent toddler. He is also trying to figure out how to open the baby gates and has already figured out how to unlock his stroller brake so he can push it around the house.

Sebastian

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 9:11 am

Its fine op. Its better for him to cry than get hirt

amother

Black

Mon, Sep 04 2023, 9:13 am

amother OP wrote:

When I’m in the bathroom on the same floor as him, I try to do that, sometimes I am in the bathroom on a different floor and he wouldn’t be able to hear me I don’t think. Sad

That's ok. Go to the bathroom in peace. You're not abandoning him.

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