How to explain/ | Imamother

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How to explain/

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 10:37 am

My heart is breaking! Some of my children have not been accepted into school yet (bp)
By today all schools have started.
How do my children go out this afternoon and play with the neighbors??
What do they tell their Bubby when she calls to ask how their first day was? (No one knows)
As painful as it is to see authority figures simply abuse their power, for the kids socially this is brutal!!
Surprised

mushkamothers

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 10:38 am

For starters, you tell bubby not to ask.

amother

Lightgreen

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 10:38 am

Oy, unbelievable! Unacceptable!!!
I didn't know this was going on in Boro Park as well!

giftedmom

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 10:39 am

Why doesn’t anyone know? Maybe they can help

amother

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 10:40 am

mushkamothers wrote:

For starters, you tell bubby not to ask.

And then she’ll ask why I’m saying not to ask…
And then she’ll be all worried that something is wrong and will be on my head till I answer her.

amother

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 10:41 am

giftedmom wrote:

Why doesn’t anyone know? Maybe they can help

It’s a situation where outsiders can’t help.
And I kept hoping we can still get them to start today
So I didn’t wanna burden anyone with that information.
We only told our kids last night.

amother

SandyBrown

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 10:41 am

So sorry!
Tell the kids it’s just about logistics numbers and space while empathizing with them to decharge the situation
Assure them you will find a solution
And tell them while painful this is temporary and no reflection upon them or you
Even if I didn’t fully believe this myself this is what I would tell my kids
Ways to help them be resilient stay positive and make this challenge a growth experience
Hugs and hatzlocha

amother

Crocus

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 10:42 am

A lot of schools started today. Mommy and Tatty could have taken you to school, but it might not be such a good school for you. So we're waiting a few more days to make sure we send you to the RIGHT school.

We want to find a school where you will have friends, and be able to learn well. Some schools are good for different kind of kids. We are ready to wait a little longer to find you a school that is just right for you, because we love you so much and want school to be good for you.

amother

Lightgreen

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 10:43 am

amother OP wrote:

It’s a situation where outsiders can’t help.
And I kept hoping we can still get them to start today
So I didn’t wanna burden anyone with that information.
We only told our kids last night.

So there's a specific reason they weren't accepted? Where were they till this year?

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 10:43 am

Were they in school last year? Is anyone involved advocating for you?

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 10:45 am

If it's like the situation someone posted where her husband will only allow the kids to go to one school, I'd just get them in somewhere else without him at this point.

amother

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 10:54 am

So my children I did explain- they know why they weren’t accepted and we are trying to reverse the decision.
This is a good school for them.
My question is how do they explain it to their friends and neighbors?

amother

Lightgreen

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 10:55 am

amother OP wrote:

You only applied to one school?
Where were they till this year?

amother

SandyBrown

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 10:56 am

They can say “you would have to ask our parents” and change the subject
They don’t have to explain anything nor should they feel pressure to do so
An important life skill to learn

amother

Eggplant

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 10:57 am

What are the chances of the decision being reversed especially if it was for a specific reason?
Maybe it's time to find another place? Kids deserve to be in school

amother

Amethyst

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 12:11 pm

Either way it's on you OP to let grandparent know not to ask
Don't avoid an uncomfortable conversation by dumping it in your kids.

ShishKabob

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 12:52 pm

Don't act about it like its some type of scary disease, they will feed off of you. The truth is the best lie. They can say matter of fact, that some things need to be cleared up with the school first before they can start.
Hugs and I hope that it gets cleared up sooner than later.
Ah git yur

newinbp

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 1:42 pm

amother OP wrote:

Can you call/apply to other similar schools? Sometimes there is more than 1 good school for a kid, and we don't always know what Hashem has in store for each kid. I don't know how easy it is to get a decision reversed, but I really wish and hope you lots of Hatzlacha and ease! Ksiva vchasima tova

amother

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 1:45 pm

amother Lightgreen wrote:

You only applied to one school?
Where were they till this year?

I didn’t think I needed to re-apply.
They were in this school till now.

amother

Thu, Sep 07 2023, 1:46 pm

amother SandyBrown wrote:

They can say “you would have to ask our parents” and change the subject
They don’t have to explain anything nor should they feel pressure to do so
An important life skill to learn

Yes I told them this.
Hopefully it will be ok:

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