Shabbos bar mitzvah Cost mid range

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Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section

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amother

Sun, Sep 10 2023, 11:19 pm

My son will iyh be bar mitzvah this year. I still have plenty of time but want to start planning already. I plan on doing a full shabbos with meals and kiddush in a tent. We will have between 100-150 per meal. Kiddush whole neighborhood coming so a lot.more.

Has anyone ever done this and can tell me appropriate costs?

I am planning on cooking a lot myself and only buying what's needed. I have family in the food industry so I will get a break there.

I am creative and am doing all setup myself (with an amazing waiter team). I am not hiring a party planner.

I want to make a really nice simcha not over the top.

I also don't know the norm since one side of my family makes crazy fancy simchas. Like example- last two bas mitzvahs were in the 30k range. Bar mitzvah just night party 70-90k.

Other side is super simple. Bar mitzvah costs 3k altogether....

I am.alsomplanning a bo bayom but I am expecting the cost to.be like 5k.

I was thinking the bar mitzvah will be in the 20k range but I am not sure I am realistic.

So far I know:

Tefillin plus bag about $2500
Tent in the 2-3k range.

I own all tables/chairs so no costs there.

I need paper goods for kiddush. Hard plastic for.meals.with regular silverware (I am getting from someone) and glasses (I am getting from someone)

Have to get tablecloths. Gonna either buy or gemach not sure yet.

I am going to do any personalizing myself. (Napkins, guest box, swag etc)

amother

Babypink

Mon, Sep 11 2023, 10:00 am

I don't know where you live, but based on what I paid for a Bar Mitzvah 2.5 years ago in Brooklyn (before crazy inflation), I don't think 20k is nearly enough for Shabbos meals for 100+ and a kiddush for even more people.

amother

Sun, Oct 15 2023, 8:23 am

Bump. Anyone else?

amother

Mintgreen

Sun, Oct 15 2023, 8:31 am

I am doing just a weekday for probably like 100-125 ppl And the cost is at least 20k

I am including clothes, tefillin etc

rmbg

Sun, Oct 15 2023, 8:44 am

It’s going to cost you about 20k. Food alone for that many people for so many meals is a ton. Your amazing waiter team- gonna cost you lots and lots. That’s just getting started.

amother

Sun, Oct 15 2023, 9:07 am

Thanks.
I appreciate it.
I made a shabbos kiddush for my baby last year that cost me about 10k start to finish and I had three meals and a full kiddush. I had 65 ppl Friday night and 80 shabbos day. I had 5 waiters there all day shabbos. I assumed a shabbos bar mitzvah would cost more but wasn't expecting over 20k. (Just for shabbos not everything else)
I am also not catering most stuff...cooking most of it

amother

Caramel

Sun, Oct 15 2023, 9:58 am

A catered night meal will be at least 10k and that’s just for basic, any upgrades will end up costing more. Also think music, photographer all adds more. On top of that is tons of shopping, the bar mitzva boy needs an entire new wardrobe and family needs clothes for.m event, hair, makeup etc. for just a the actual meals in shabbos you know around how much the rent, waiters and paper goods are and I would imagine that’s alone almost close to 7/8k

amother

Sun, Oct 15 2023, 10:10 am

amother Caramel wrote:

Right I am not doing any real catering and no night meal. Just shabbos. I am not including the bar mitzvah boys clothes or any of that.
I am just curious for shabbos itself.

Tent rental- about 2k I already looked into it. I can go cheaper if needed as well.

Friday night
Kiddush
Shabbos day
Shalosh seudos

Using paper goods just for plates/bowls. Borrowing real silverware/glasses.

The waitering will cost me a lot but I am not paying a party planner.

Food wise I am cooking most but getting lots of ingredients at cost price.

I also need to do guest boxes/hostess gifts/swag/ etc. That I am doing myself.

No table and chairs rental. I own them all. I amy need to get some tablecloths.

amother

Grape

Sun, Oct 15 2023, 10:38 am

Friday night seuda plus shul kiddush & teffilin and clothes 6k. Big fam OOT.

amother

Honey

Sun, Oct 15 2023, 11:45 am

I just made an aufruf. We made a kiddush and had around 40 people for three meals. I just added it up last night, we spent around $6,000, which included hall for Shabbos, waiters and party planner. I had thought it was way too much, but I see here that it wasn't.

(We didn't cater, we used a mixture of home made and bought food, for example we bought cholent and cold cut platters...).

I can't imagine why you can't keep it under 20k, especially as you are cooking your own food and not even hiring a party planner.

I don't know where you are located, maybe things are cheaper where I live....

lamplighter

Sun, Oct 15 2023, 12:01 pm

I think 20k is a safe number.
Can it be less probably, but I would use that as my ceiling budget.
Tablecloths - you cannot wash in between uses will you get a different set per meal?
You are doing swag yourself but it still costs.

Also wow. Cooking for so many people is a huge undertaking!!!!

amother

Sun, Oct 15 2023, 12:56 pm

lamplighter wrote:

I will have different sets. I have some and I can borrow some and either gemach or buy more.

Everything will cost but will be less than paying someone else to do it.

Cooking. I enjoy cooking on plan on doing a lot myself. I have family in the food business and can use their commercial kitchen and get my stuff wholesale from there and wtvr I can't do I will have them do.

Mostly the kiddush is what I will buy meals I will mostly do myself.

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