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YomTov finances vent
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 5:23 pm
I'm the OP of a couple of threads about struggling financially. (one of them the I can't afford food thread). B"H I had a restock of chicken and two roasts from the chesed pantry. Gonna use that on yuntif. Don't plan to buy anything except a few pomegranates and a new fruit. I'll have to make due with the rest. I also splurged on flowers (which I hardly every buy)for $20. But that's it.
No new clothes or jewelry for me. Most years dh mentions it. He hasn't even mentioned it this year. I just feel very downtrodden. I wish we could make yomtov nicer, I wish I could buy a nicer meat or salmon or something new for me.
I just hate being in the middle class. We can't even afford groceries for the week. How is yomtov expected to happen?

So I'll just make do and be happy B"H we have food and a roof over our heads (although we are behind in that too). Life is just so expensive. I feel like making a YomTov is for the privileged sadly. What does Hashem want from us?
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amother
Carnation


 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 5:26 pm
I feel you, middle class sucks.
I think that tomchei shabbos and other organizations, should come up with a way to allocate funds & food better so instead of only the real poor getting expensive foods, (cases of salmon, steaks, roasts, dairy products...) the middle class should also be able to qualify, and everyone can get regular priced foods.
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amother
Beige


 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 5:27 pm
Do you want ideas, or just validation? I can offer either one, just checking what you're seeking.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 6:10 pm
I disagree. BH to be middle class. What’s the alternative? To be low income? BH to not rely on government handouts. BH to not be reliant. BH to not be beholden to the handcuffs of means tested entitlements. I don’t mind budgeting. BH to have a job to go to every day. BH!!!
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amother
Poppy


 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 6:17 pm
Honestly getting new clothes or jewelry is so far removed from my train of thoughts that it doesn’t even occur to me. I buy new clothes when I need them (pregnancy, weight gain, etc ) not based on the time of year . I haven’t bought jewelry ever in my life. I have an engagement ring and pearls from my wedding and rarely wear jewelry. I don’t feel like I am lacking in that department. It’s a waste of money.
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amother
Carnation


 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 6:21 pm
amother Salmon wrote:
I disagree. BH to be middle class. What’s the alternative? To be low income? BH to not rely on government handouts. BH to not be reliant. BH to not be beholden to the handcuffs of means tested entitlements. I don’t mind budgeting. BH to have a job to go to every day. BH!!!

So many middle class people are just not making it and are actually poorer then the poor.
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 6:28 pm
Far removed for me too. I also didnt get new clothes and havnt got real jewelry since my wedding. But that's pretty typical among my friends family and neighbours. Who are you hanging around? Maybe find new people.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 6:30 pm
amother Carnation wrote:
So many middle class people are just not making it and are actually poorer then the poor.


Because they have mindset that they are of the wealthy class. New clothes and jewelry are not on my radar. They never are. I don’t compare myself to the wealthy. And if you’re comparing yourself to those who are on programs but buying expensive clothes and jewelry (somehow) well I’d rather live authentically and b’yashrus
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amother
Carnation


 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 6:30 pm
amother Ginger wrote:
Far removed for me too. I also didnt get new clothes and havnt got real jewelry since my wedding. But that's pretty typical among my friends family and neighbours. Who are you hanging around? Maybe find new people.


There's nothing wrong with wanting something new for yom tov. It doesn't have to do with the people we're around and we don't need to find new people because we want a new dress for yom tov.
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Highstrung




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 6:30 pm
OP, it’s always nice to get yourself something for Yom Tov.
You bought flowers. Maybe for Succos you can order a cheap piece of jewelry from Ali express. I got gorgeous earrings for $5.25 and a dress from Shein for $17.00.
Or sometimes , going to the library and picking out a special book to read is an enhancement to Yom Tov .
Or , buy yourself one slice of salmon . Just for you and nobody else . Small things like that do make you feel like you are celebrating and it becomes special for you .
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amother
Carnation


 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 6:32 pm
amother Salmon wrote:
Because they have mindset that they are of the wealthy class. New clothes and jewelry are not on my radar. They never are. I don’t compare myself to the wealthy. And if you’re comparing yourself to those who are on programs but buying expensive clothes and jewelry (somehow) well I’d rather live authentically and b’yashrus


This is so not true & quite ignorant.
There are so so so many middle class people that live frugal yet don't have money for groceries. Way more people than you think, especially in today's economy.
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amother
Salmon


 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 6:37 pm
amother Carnation wrote:
This is so not true & quite ignorant.
There are so so so many middle class people that live frugal yet don't have money for groceries. Way more people than you think, especially in today's economy.


I’m not denying there are those who struggle. But I don’t think wishing you were poor or on programs is the answer
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amother
Carnation


 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 6:42 pm
amother Salmon wrote:
I’m not denying there are those who struggle. But I don’t think wishing you were poor or on programs is the answer


Who's wishing they were poor on programs?
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mig100




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 6:53 pm
amother Carnation wrote:
This is so not true & quite ignorant.
There are so so so many middle class people that live frugal yet don't have money for groceries. Way more people than you think, especially in today's economy.


I'm afraid U may be right
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amother
Leaf


 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 6:53 pm
De
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 7:01 pm
amother Carnation wrote:
I feel you, middle class sucks.
I think that tomchei shabbos and other organizations, should come up with a way to allocate funds & food better so instead of only the real poor getting expensive foods, (cases of salmon, steaks, roasts, dairy products...) the middle class should also be able to qualify, and everyone can get regular priced foods.


Very often the middle class doesn't want tzedaka because they want to feel they can do it on their own
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 7:01 pm
amother Beige wrote:
Do you want ideas, or just validation? I can offer either one, just checking what you're seeking.


Just venting. Trust me, I've thought of all the ideas.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 7:02 pm
amother Salmon wrote:
I disagree. BH to be middle class. What’s the alternative? To be low income? BH to not rely on government handouts. BH to not be reliant. BH to not be beholden to the handcuffs of means tested entitlements. I don’t mind budgeting. BH to have a job to go to every day. BH!!!


We are in tons of debt. Every morsel of food goes on credit card. Is that better?
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 7:03 pm
amother Poppy wrote:
Honestly getting new clothes or jewelry is so far removed from my train of thoughts that it doesn’t even occur to me. I buy new clothes when I need them (pregnancy, weight gain, etc ) not based on the time of year . I haven’t bought jewelry ever in my life. I have an engagement ring and pearls from my wedding and rarely wear jewelry. I don’t feel like I am lacking in that department. It’s a waste of money.


When I say jewelry I don't mean real. I mean costume. And there is a very strong inyan to buy something new for yomtov. I wish I could. I don't have a lot of clothes but for yomtov I try to get one thing
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Sep 13 2023, 7:07 pm
amother Salmon wrote:
I’m not denying there are those who struggle. But I don’t think wishing you were poor or on programs is the answer


I am poor. Much poorer than when I was on programs. I don't think being on programs defines one as poor sadly in this economy.
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