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MIL gifts



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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Sep 18 2023, 2:43 pm
My MIL is a wonderful person.
She likes to send us new clothes and accessories before YT. She goes all out, buying nice clothes for the kids, yarmulkas, costume jewelry, etc. She ends up spending quite a bit of money.

The problem is that too many times the stuff she buys is just nerdy or outdated. Other times it is way too big (like size 8 pjs for a 4 year old). Most often the things she buys are not our taste. We have to wear it, so we put it on once or twice when she comes to visit and then never touch it again.

It really breaks my heart. She spends all this time and energy and MONEY!!! and it's all just one huge waste. Yes, we definitely get good use out of some of her gifts, but I'm always left looking at a few items that are just never going to get used.

If I could leave the tags on perhaps I could pass it on, but we have to open everything and use it so she doesn't feel bad. It's really a silly situation.
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amother
Impatiens


 

Post Mon, Sep 18 2023, 4:02 pm
It's frustrating, I get that.
But as one wise speaker once said, "people are more important than things."
Your mother in law's feelings are more important than the money wasted here. I'm sure there are gemachs that will accept your clothing so they don't go to waste.
Hashem has enough money to replace what your mother in law spent. But keeping the peace and making her feel appreciated - that's up to you.
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amother
Ivory


 

Post Mon, Sep 18 2023, 4:11 pm
Wow well said
Beautiful
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amother
Arcticblue


 

Post Mon, Sep 18 2023, 4:20 pm
When the kids are older they can state their taste and what they want, until then...
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amother
Raspberry


 

Post Mon, Sep 18 2023, 4:27 pm
It's ok to let you kids look "nerdy" sometimes. It won't hurt them. But teaching them to turn their noses down at presents because they aren't trendy enough can hurt them. Seriously, pajamas and yarmulkes have to be the latest style? If it's the wrong size, save it until they grow into it.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Sep 18 2023, 5:03 pm
amother Impatiens wrote:
It's frustrating, I get that.
But as one wise speaker once said, "people are more important than things."
Your mother in law's feelings are more important than the money wasted here. I'm sure there are gemachs that will accept your clothing so they don't go to waste.
Hashem has enough money to replace what your mother in law spent. But keeping the peace and making her feel appreciated - that's up to you.


Exactly what DH said. She feels good giving and that is what counts.

I guess it's just seeing the tags with the prices that really gets to me... Sad
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Sep 18 2023, 5:05 pm
amother Raspberry wrote:
It's ok to let you kids look "nerdy" sometimes. It won't hurt them. But teaching them to turn their noses down at presents because they aren't trendy enough can hurt them. Seriously, pajamas and yarmulkes have to be the latest style? If it's the wrong size, save it until they grow into it.


My kids aren't old enough yet to understand - they are thrilled to wear new stuff that bubby sent.
I'm not letting my son walk down the street in a weird yarmulka though. And I'm not either going to wear a tichel that looks ugly on me. But we do look nerdy in the house when we wear it and I do that happily for my MIL.
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