Looking for small, warm, accepting boys elementary school

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Tue, Sep 19 2023, 11:54 pm

I’m looking for a boys elementary (middle school) school that is small, warm, and accepting. For various reasons DS has been homeschooled for the past few years but is now ready and needs to be back in the classroom. He may not be on class level in everything and has some catching up to do (primarily in Gemara and math). It doesn’t matter where the school is we will go anywhere in North America that will accept him where he is at. We are willing to have him pulled out and pay for private tutoring for the classes he’s not able to keep up with class level. The problem is I can’t find a school that is willing to accept him without putting him through the wringer first , and testing him in all areas. I read the thread about the school in Philadelphia being on a lower level of learning so I’m thinking that might be good for him, but will they accept a student in 7th grade that hasn’t been in a classroom past few years? Will they accept him without being put through the wringer ( 2 schools already did that to him. I can’t do it to him again.) I need a school that will accept him and be willing to work with us in meeting his needs as they arise. Something like ohr yisroel tenafly maybe but for a 7th grader. Does such a thing exist? We are middle of the road hashkafically but I would be fine sending him to a more modern school (just not co-Ed) can anyone suggest a school like this ?

amother

Bellflower

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 12:29 am

MTJ in the lower east side?

amother

Ruby

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 12:35 am

Firstly, sorry for what you are going through. I hope you have clarity soon.
The school in Philadelphia isn't lower academics, just not so pressured like a lot of homework etc. It sounds like he would need a smaller school though, the classes are pretty big for an out of town school.
I would suggest calling Torah Umesorah to see if they have any suggestions. I think they have people that help you find schools.
Good luck!

amother

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 12:43 am

amother Ruby wrote:

Thanks I tried Torah umesora unfortunately they weren’t helpful

amother

Bellflower

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 12:45 am

Yob in Bklyn might also be an option

amother

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 12:45 am

amother Ruby wrote:

about how many kids are in a class? Do you think they would have issue with him being homeschooled past few years ?

amother

DarkGreen

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 12:45 am

It doesn't matter where you go, all the schools will want to test to see where he is up to. And your reassuring that you will get tutors too.

Why not try the schools where you already are?

amother

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 12:50 am

amother DarkGreen wrote:

It doesn't matter where you go, all the schools will want to test to see where he is up to. And your reassuring that you will get tutors too.

Why not try the schools where you already are?

Do you think I haven’t done that already ?!?! I’m asking because I have not been successful in my many attempts. Where I live was obviously the first attempts. I can’t keep putting him through rigorous testing, he has anxiety and in general doesn’t do well in testing. Each time he has to go through it again and isn’t accepted it only heightens his anxiety and will cause him to do poorly on their tests

amother

Winterberry

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 12:55 am

Try Yeshiva Shaarei Tzion in highland Park nj.

My friend who used to homeschool switched to there.

amother

DarkGreen

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 12:59 am

amother OP wrote:

From my experience with all the lovely schools, I feel like some parents have what it takes to get what they need and others (like me) always have a hard time.

Its just extreme to move for this (2 years) because there is no guarantee that it will work out. You have any other children? Jobs? My suggestion is to beg a rabbi or askan to run interference for you if you can. Someone has to not take no for an answer on your behalf. At least take him on a trial for this year with the promise of tutors.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to cause you any more pain. I consider myself a realist because I have had the experience of a bunch of trouble with quite a few schools.

It is very telling that you are seriously committed parent that will go to ends of earth for your child. A child raised like that deserves a chance. It's the easy way out for them to not bother, but its wrong.

amother

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 1:16 am

amother DarkGreen wrote:

Thank you and I agree. Unfortunately there is nobody who can advocate on our behalf. The school is run by wealthy individuals that think they are smarter and better than everyone. I got a huge world renowned chinuch expert to attempt to advocate and they ignored him…. I’m sorry you have had issues with schools. It’s the most painful difficult thing . Schooling is a serious issue. It’s a tragedy how our frum schools callously don’t seem to actually care about Jewish kids souls. Everyone writes and cries about it , but it doesn’t seem like anyone will actually do anything about it. It’s really devastating to hear so many kids that become OTD because they were mistreated/rejected by schools. If schools would only care about them when they were young they wouldn’t have to be creating countless million dollar programs to get them back on track in their teens. Here’s a novel idea. Don’t mistreat and discard them when they’re wanting to be in a frum school in their first decade and you won’t be having to try to get them into a frum environment in their second decade!

amother

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 1:17 am

amother Winterberry wrote:

Try Yeshiva Shaarei Tzion in highland Park nj.

My friend who used to homeschool switched to there.

Thank you I will look into that. Do the kids have to be sefardi? The website has a big emphasis on their rich sefardi heritage…..

amother

Phlox

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 1:17 am

YTS or tashbar in Baltimore

amother

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 1:20 am

amother Phlox wrote:

YTS or tashbar in Baltimore

What does YTS stand for?

amother

Winterberry

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 1:28 am

amother OP wrote:

Thank you I will look into that. Do the kids have to be sefardi? The website has a big emphasis on their rich sefardi heritage…..

Definitely not. My friend isn't.
http://www.ystnj.org/

(Is that the website you were looking at?)

amother

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 1:32 am

amother Winterberry wrote:

Definitely not. My friend isn't.
http://www.ystnj.org/

(Is that the website you were looking at?)

there’s ones in queens that came up that I found. Thank you for this!

amother

Ballota

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 4:50 am

The cheder in Clifton Nj (Passaic)
Excellent rebbeim, a slight Montessori vibe, small classes, all types of kids. Regular yeshiva learning bit with kids from all kinds of homes. It’s an amazing school

myname1

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 6:06 am

amother OP wrote:

there’s ones in queens that came up that I found. Thank you for this!

I know a couple of lovely families who sent there as well.

amother

Daisy

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 6:48 am

Pardon, OP, if your son is going into seventh and has only been homeschooled for three years it sounds like there is some kind of history of being in a regular school and a decision being made at some point to pull him out and start homeschooling. That combined with his anxiety and your feelings about the local schools makes me think there might be more history here then just an ex homeschooled kid.

amother

Strawberry

Wed, Sep 20 2023, 6:57 am

amother Daisy wrote:

That’s exactly what OP said—that for particular reasons, he was pulled out for a few years, and is now ready and needing to go back to school.
Are you a Private Investigator on behalf of the schools?

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