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amother
Brunette
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 Fri, Sep 22 2023, 5:50 am
My girls are starting to grow older and I think it's important to be normal. They don't need to be wearing branded clothes and for me to pay a lot of money, but they do have to look okay. If most of her class, and indeed the school are wearing dark coats, for me to send dd in a bright pink coat will stand out. If I find a cute dress on sale, but it's different (and not good different) to what everyone is wearing, I wouldn't buy it.
I'm lucky in that my kids school seems to have a lot of variation, and that my kids aren't bothered. But I think it's important for me to dress them similar to everyone else. I don't have to be a sheep and buy the same 2 dresses that everyone else has and has paid a lot of money for, but I won't buy something that is sooo different and will stand out.
Op, is there a similar coat at a cheaper price that you could get?
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amother
OP
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Fri, Sep 22 2023, 6:09 am
| amother Brunette wrote: | My girls are starting to grow older and I think it's important to be normal. They don't need to be wearing branded clothes and for me to pay a lot of money, but they do have to look okay. If most of her class, and indeed the school are wearing dark coats, for me to send dd in a bright pink coat will stand out. If I find a cute dress on sale, but it's different (and not good different) to what everyone is wearing, I wouldn't buy it.
I'm lucky in that my kids school seems to have a lot of variation, and that my kids aren't bothered. But I think it's important for me to dress them similar to everyone else. I don't have to be a sheep and buy the same 2 dresses that everyone else has and has paid a lot of money for, but I won't buy something that is sooo different and will stand out.
Op, is there a similar coat at a cheaper price that you could get? |
Maybe I'm not sure. The Ali one is definitely cheaper than appaman (which I'd never buy). Also, btw they asked for this coat for a few years already but they had perfectly good ones. Now, they both outgrew theirs so when I have to buy new they're asking for this one.
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baked ziti
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Fri, Sep 22 2023, 6:37 am
| amother Mimosa wrote: | I'm really surprised by mothers' attitudes on this thread. What ever happened to teaching kids not to be so obsessive with gashmiyut? And that you DON'T need to cave to peer pressure and do things which aren't necessarily right to appease others? Don't go into debt, educate your kids, ladies!
And I find it hard to believe that the mothers of such kids don't care about brand names themselves. Model by example. |
Once your kids are teens all you can do is lead by example. It's up to them to either absorb the value or not. You can't force them to live by your exact level of materialism at that point. Obviously the parent must draw the line somewhere, but it likely will have to be somewhere around the middle, or it will surely backfire. If there isn't a balanced approach your child will completely reject the value, like throwing out the baby with the bathwater.
Speaking as a very simple, not very materialistic mom who values histapkus bmiut but had to find her balance once her kids hit their teens.
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emee2
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Fri, Sep 22 2023, 8:31 am
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Also I encourage my girls to put more expensive things that I wouldn’t normally buy on their birthday or Chanukah wishlists. Nothing over the top but for example my daughter wanted specific fancy binders and notebooks for school that were more expensive than I would normally buy so she got them as a Chanukah gift. For yontif I usually get my teenage girls something so this is another time when I might treat them to something that they might want like lulu lemon bags or whatever the latest meshugas is. My girls know there are limits and I help them choose and weigh the pros and cons of their decisions. Also they know there won’t be any Tiffany bracelets or Michelle watches which are very popular where I live. 🤷🏽♀️
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