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rkay
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 Sun, Nov 19 2023, 7:27 pm
| amother Copper wrote: | | So take it up with the agencies. There is a massive shortage of therapists because our pay is low, our incentives low, 0 benefits, no health insurance. I tell them 2 weeks before my due date, but like I mentioned my coordinator and the school principal have both seen me and my other coworker pregnant. My principal wished me besha tova on friday and no questions about when Im due. My coworker just had a baby and only told HR a week before her due and didnt even reach out to parents. I prepare "HW" assignment packets for all parents for my leave, and make sure all my paperwork and reports are submitted. What more would you like me to do? |
What is the big deal to just tell them your due date in advance? I don't get it.
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smss
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Sun, Nov 19 2023, 7:38 pm
| amother Latte wrote: | | I don’t get it either but to be fair it sounds like no one is asking her when she’s due either. If I looked like that and didn’t say anything, I’m sure my supervisor would tactfully ask if I’m planning to go on leave. |
Really? I think it's pretty inappropriate to assume a woman is pregnant based on her appearance, especially in a work relationship.
They might suspect but they really shouldn't say something.
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challah58
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Sun, Nov 19 2023, 8:30 pm
| amother Darkblue wrote: | | As a supervisor of remote employees I don't agree with this. She should be offering what she can do to minimize the effects of her being out for two months on such short notice. She should say I know that xyz needs to get done (critical parts of he job that can't wait until she gets back) when I'm out, I'm happy to train someone on those immediately if you have someone available, or I can take that task on while I'm out as I understand this is short notice. She shouldn't be dumping the burden on her employer to scramble to fill in the blanks because she didn't give early enough notice. |
You're right that these are good examples of things she can offer in a professional way. (Although I'm not sure she should be making promises to do anything over her maternity leave, and she definitely isn't obligated to.)
I meant more to discourage op from coming to her employer with her head down apologizing profusely for what she did.
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amother
Aster
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Sun, Nov 19 2023, 8:57 pm
| amother Copper wrote: | | So take it up with the agencies. There is a massive shortage of therapists because our pay is low, our incentives low, 0 benefits, no health insurance. I tell them 2 weeks before my due date, but like I mentioned my coordinator and the school principal have both seen me and my other coworker pregnant. My principal wished me besha tova on friday and no questions about when Im due. My coworker just had a baby and only told HR a week before her due and didnt even reach out to parents. I prepare "HW" assignment packets for all parents for my leave, and make sure all my paperwork and reports are submitted. What more would you like me to do? |
Yes, so you aren't in the same situation as OP, at all. You DID tell your employers much earlier, visually. You didn't specifically tell them the words "Hi, I'm due on whatever and I'll be taking leave around then", right, but you definitely did "let them know" that you're pregnant and will be out at some point, simply by having them see you clearly pregnant, and then it's just a matter of telling them an exact date at some point (and I agree with everyone else asking why in the world you wouldn't just tell them earlier, how could that possibly hurt?)
OP, however, is fully remote, and they have clearly never met in person. From one day to the next, as a very new recently trained in employee, she's just gonna be like "hiya, just letting you know I had a baby and I'll be out for the next six weeks"?? And expect them to be fine with that? I work fully remotely. I don't see most of the team who works under me very often at all. If I had no idea that the person I just hired and just spent weeks training in for a very needed role will actually be out for a bunch of weeks very soon and knew that going in, I may not be able to fire them for that, but I will not be looking at any other mistakes they make with a very warm and forgiving eye like I usually do, and I will probably already be looking for a replacement who I can trust more.
I'm sorry, OP, but I think it was not the best path to choose, and I definitely agree that your best bet now is to tell them asap at least, so they can start planning how they're going to handle your unexpected leave right away.
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amother
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Sun, Nov 19 2023, 9:04 pm
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Also, to agree with Amaranthus, I BH had an easy time with my births and recoveries. I totally could have been doing remote work after two weeks, though not full time, I suppose. In fact, after my third, I sat down at the computer the afternoon after his bris to continue some training I had been doing with new employees we had just hired (I gave birth earlier than I thought I would, especially since I had always gone pretty late before that!) I don't think it's a great idea to count on being able to work, since clearly many women had very different experiences than me, and yours might be more like theirs. But I just want to give OP some hope that you might, like the two of us, BH have an easy birth and an easy recovery and figure out how to feed your baby, take a shower, and even throw in a load of laundry all within the first few days, like I did. It should not be this scary specter looming over you! Your entire life is not about to go down the toilet bowl! You might actually enjoy your time with your tiny lil cutie. I know I did, and with each baby since I have managed to enjoy those first few weeks more and more, as I realize what a tiny blip in the scheme of things it really is. There are definitely hard parts (like my first baby having a really hard time learning how to nurse; it was a sad adventure for both of us) but overall, it can be a very good experience, not this scary overwhelming one everyone else is describing.
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saltandvinegar
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Sun, Nov 19 2023, 9:09 pm
| amother Aster wrote: | | I worked as a P3 for an agency as well as for the school back with my first, I did let my supervisors both know as much in advance as was seemly (when I was 5 months along or so, probably- like once I was showing) and they asked me for help finding a replacement, I didn't know of anyone but I believe the school did manage to find someone and it worked out well. In fact I ended up being able to take 11 weeks because my sub was happy to continue til then. So... Never say never. It's worth giving them the chance. |
I dont think thats typical for most agencies to be asked to find your own replacement. My agency doesnt find maternity leave coverage. I think parents know that they have therapists in their child bearing years so it may be a risk of accepting therapy at school that a therapist might be out for a few weeks for maternity leave
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singleagain
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Sun, Nov 19 2023, 9:17 pm
| amother Forsythia wrote: | | A lot of you are conflating 2 different things. 1) giving your employer advance notice of maternity leave 2) telling them before they hire you that you’re pregnant. 1 I totally agree with. 2-you do not need to do this by law. All of you saying it’s not yashrus, I get your point, but there’s a reason this law exists. Pregnant women are very much discriminated against during hiring. For those of you who said as HR you just want to know, but wouldn’t discriminate, sorry I just don’t buy it. Frum companies especially, in my experience. |
Time to tell my mom's story. She had two interviews back to back.
First, was obviously pregnant and when asked if she could give an 18 -24 month commitment, she waved it off,no problem not a big deal.. very casual attitude
Second, when asked for the 18 -24 month commitment, told my mom that actually she was pregnant but definitely planned on coming back to work
My mom hired the second one bc of the attitude and sincerity.
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singleagain
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Sun, Nov 19 2023, 9:18 pm
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Seems like someone would make a good buck to have their job be covering therapists on maternity
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icloud
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Sun, Nov 19 2023, 9:19 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I started a remote job about 2 weeks ago and I decided not to tell them I am having a baby imyh the beginning of January because maybe they wouldn't hire me. This is my first child and I don't know how hard it will be.. should I tell them now I am having a baby in a month in a half? I feel weird doing that because it is a frum company and I feel like I lied to them when they hired me.. or should I just not tell them and continue working after the baby? Has anyone done this before.. like call in sick for 2 days and then continue working? its supposed to be 8 hours of work a day but I can probably be flexible around when the baby is sleeping. I don't think they would give me maternity leave anyway because I haven't been working there so long so maybe there is no point in telling them. Need advice!! |
Oish that's hard, what type remote job did you start? Are they looking for more people? I know someone that looking for a remote job
Please let me know thanks
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