going to college when you have kids

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Forum -> Working Women

Going to college when you have kids

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gold21

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 2:12 pm

Anyone STARTED (not continued) college with young kids?

Got married at 19. Dh was in kollel, I got an office job. Had a baby B"H. He's now 2. Expecting a second child IY"H shortly. I am 23.

Dont want to be a secretary my whole life!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cant put in full time hours at college, I hated working full time with kids.

Maybe online, and a couple classes at a local college?

Anyone with experience with getting a degree after starting a family?

Shimmysmom

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 2:17 pm

I started b4 but did the majority of it with kids b/c I got married young.
do you have any credits or are you really starting from scratch?

gold21

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 2:17 pm

no I mean from scratch
except that I did pass a few CLEPs in h.s.

Shimmysmom

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 2:25 pm

if you are motivated you can do it!
also do u have a specific goal in mind? that would help!
about online vs. class- ive tried both and I think it depends on the person. it was harder for me to motivate myself to get the work done when I took online classes. its much looser- you don't have anyone really breathing down your neck to get work done. also, it was fine for the easier classes but it isn't always easy to teach the material to yourself.
on the other hand, going to class is hard with kids b/c obviously you need to physically be out of your home at specific times. with online, you just work when your kids are sleeping in your pjamas. now I take classes at night and this works for me babysitting wise. but I don't know your schedule.
for me it was important not to commute to school. that can be a real time drain.

gold21

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 2:32 pm

I was thinking of trying to find a field that only requires a BA, not a Masters. Less schooling.
?? not sure which field though.

octopus

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 2:43 pm

I started my masters when preg with my first. Touro allows for a few online courses. maybe its worth looking into. hope that helps.
Oh- it's very hard to take more than one or two classes a semester.

Aidelmom

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 2:50 pm

My sister did it online after she was married. She has her masters now and is going for a CPA. If she sees this thread she'll probably give you more info.

octopus

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 3:15 pm

just to add- I am still in school (three years later ). when you have kids (in my opinion) steady and slow is the way to go! (unless it is a money issue or something pressing, etc.)

Chocoholic

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 3:17 pm

I am also in school, and it keeps me way to busy to have children. Also I want to get graduated with good grades and honors, that's why we do not have kids now... (Better wait a while than leave them with a nanny the whole day - DH also has a busy schedule).

debsters1101

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 4:17 pm

I have gone through 90% of grad school with a child, who is now 19 months old. it is VERY hard but doable if you make certain sacrifices. we didn't wait, we're happy we didn't, but I was not able to nurse, and of course my daughter sees a LOT of her babysitter even if I am home, because I have to do work (um, I should be doing that now. right.) but in the end, I am finishing this year, and my daughter will never remember this. and BH I will be an occupational therapist and can make my own hours more or less- I went to school for HER benefit. it was worth it.

octopus

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 4:18 pm

I did not hire babysitters- I used to take sunday classes at touro so dh babysat.

pgk

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 4:22 pm

I'm actually supposed to be writing a paper right now! I started school after I already had 2 kids. I work part time (everyday), and I'm taking a full courseload of credits. I't NOT easy, but if you're really motivated, it's doable. I think the only field that requires just a BA is accounting, but event that's changing, so you better decide quick!

myfriends715

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 6:37 pm

I took 3 semesters off (pg and babies) and iy"h going back in september... scared!!!!!!!

ss321

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 6:54 pm

I was friendly with a girl in college who had not a single CLEP/AP etc course from high school, was doing it all from scratch. at the time, she had one baby. she was a biology major - which isnt an "easy" thing to major in (certain majors, like psychology, at least where I went to school, have a reputation of being "cop out" type majors for girls...)her third is due nowish (next week?), and she is starting PA school in January. it CAN be done!

proud_mama

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 7:21 pm

Its definitely not easy, but with willpower, you can do it. I started college when pg with #4 and had #5 during too. Still not finished, I take 4 classes a semester, and work part time. Its tough, we have easy suppers, lasagna (no boil required of course) once a week, hot dogs, chicken and potatoes once a week, no more patchking. Its hard, but IY"H will pay off at the end.
GOOD LUCK. My kids know that mommy goes to school at night, 2 nights a week, I get them ready, fed, bathed and in pjs, then a babysitter comes for an hour until DH comes home. its rough.

manhattanmom

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 7:52 pm

It is doable. I've been told that last year (or the year before) the valedictorian of the NYU School of Medicine was a frum lady who walked on stage to receive her award with her FIVE young children alongside her.

That's definitely more of an "extreme" story. I'm in graduate school now and I started the program 3 months after I got married. I became pregnant in the middle of my first semester, had a baby at the end of my second semester, went back to school after a two month break and am now expecting my second and am planning to take a semester off at that time--just because of the time of year it will fall out. It's very hard and it is extremely important that you have full support from your family (especially your husband--and that he understands that HE will have to do much more at home--such as dealing with bathtime, bedtime, making lunches, even putting away laundry sometimes--and this is even if you have a WONDERFUL nanny/babysitter! Even if you "just go at nights" or "go to school online" it's very time consuming. I have been doing a combination of both for a little while and I'd still need someone to come and take care of the baby so I could work with classmates on a project, go to the library, or even just study!!

I don't mean to scare you off at all. In my program (a STRESSFUL one) almost all of my classmates are students who "came back" to school after a looong break. Some of us have little kids, some have adult kids, and some just have many other responsibilities.
Go for it (slowly)!!
The most important thing is to really know yourself and what you can handle.

chavamom

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 9:59 pm

I went to nursing school with 4 and 5 kids (had the 5th before I started clinicals). Why don't you try taking a class or two at a community college and see how it goes?

amother

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 10:29 pm

I was in college for 9 years. I started before I had kids, but I was working full time. I continued to work full time and had 2 kids since then. I had my babies both times mid semester, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Came back 3 days later to midterms...

Finally finished this year, got into an awesome grad program, and am basically getting a full scholarship for my grad degree. I now have good prospects and a good job lines up. It was a crazy struggle to get through it, but it was totally worth it.

I would only go into school with kids if youre going to get on a career track that pays well. not earth shattering, but better than run of the mill secretarial work, and with medical benefits. bc if not, it's probably not worth the time.

there are some job ins the medical field that pay decently, only with an as or ba...

Twizzlers

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 10:35 pm

to all of you that did it, are you very smart? or did you really have to work?

my dh totally flew thru his BA. seriously, he NEVER studied. bh he is very smart, but if I were to try something like this, I'd need to seriously crack my head!

amother

Wed, Jul 30 2008, 10:42 pm

Twizzlers wrote:

I'm the amother right above you. School was always easy for me and yes, I've been told I'm very smart. I did get almost all A's, but it wasn't the school work that was the struggle. It was finding time in my schedule between kids, FT (44 hours a week) working, and no pissing off dh too much that I was never around! Plus, I was really exhausted from my schedule and I can't tell you how many times I would just decide not to go to class because I was falling asleep at work (don't forget I was still getting up at night with my kids!) So while I started out wanting to take a ton of classes and get it over with, I couldn't realistically take more than 2 a semester with my schedule.

Oh and I never ever studied either, but no matter how easy they are, 10+ page papers and projects are time consuming so there's always something to do even if school is easy for you.

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