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Forum -> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections -> The Imamother Writing Club
Kosher Lemehadrin Novel
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top mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2023, 11:36 am
In a beautiful, peaceful Shtetel named Torah V'Chesed, there lived a couple who were frum, eidel and had the most amazing Shalom Bayis.
Burech Hersh was a kollel yungerman, and Blima Hinda was the local sheitelmacher and tzinus lady.
Every night, when Burech Hersh walked in at exactly 9:40, his eishes chayil had two teas, and a Shmiras Haloshon sefer open to the right spot.
They celebrated finishing each chapter by sharing a chocolate danish from the local bakery.
Learning hilchos l"h was especially important to Blima Hinda, since, being a sheitelmacher, she was often privy to some juicy inside information. It obviously wouldn't dawn on her to share anything of that sort, but since she also dabbled in shidduchim, ( she was quite talented, that's why she managed to snag the shpitz bucher as her own shidduch ) she wanted to gain more knowledge in hilchos l'toeles.
9:35: Blima Hinda hears the telltale sound of Burech Hersh's key turning in the doorknob.
How very strange, why was he home a full five minutes early?
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top mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2023, 11:38 am
Ladies, please keep this squeaky clean, so that we can get the fun going...
I hope we can come to love Burech Hersh and Blima Hinda as much as we adored Getz and Basya Bayla.
Enjoy, and a Freilichen Chanukah!
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top mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2023, 1:11 pm
It seems like unpublishable novels are way more popular around here than mehadrin ones Wink
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amother
Bergamot


 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2023, 1:20 pm
top mom wrote:
It seems like unpublishable novels are way more popular around here than mehadrin ones Wink

There's no need to portray Kosher as cookie cutter. Kosher could be real people, real emotions, real struggles, real triumphs, real failures.
I'm sure something with more depth would be more appealing.
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amother
Hyssop


 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2023, 1:22 pm
I wish we could have the old thread back, just reset to an earlier page with more defined rules.
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top mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2023, 1:41 pm
I'm not in the mood for in depth writing, developing characters, we have plenty of those in our magazines.
I went to the other extreme, hopefully we can find some humour in this farfrumt, perfect couple, otherwise, may this thread peter out in peace.
I tried What
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Food




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2023, 1:47 pm
A Chanukah Novel


When the door clanged shut behind her, she incoherently wondered why the guard wasn't cackling maniacally like in all the stories, or at least jeering at her menacingly. Instead he shuffled down the hallway in the direction they had came from, his rubber-soled boots squeaking against the damp floor. The other sound she was able to make out was a steady dripping noise somewhere to her left... and a teenager sniffling in the corner.

"So, what are you here for?" mumbled the teenager, who's unwashed, stringy hair was barely visable in the dim light.

"I have no idea," replied the dazed woman. She took a cautious step forward.

"Don't come too close," warned the teenager in a monotone. "It's contagious."

"What's contagious?"

"The skunk is rabid."

"Wait a second. Who are you, how did you smuggle a skunk into a prison cell, and why are you in prison in the first place?" spluttered the woman, at this point convinced that she had been teleported into an alternate universe. Surely it hadn't been that same morning that she was in her neighborhood grocery, buying sacks of potatoes for tonight's latkes and hocking with her neighbors at the checkout line about the price of eggs.

"That's quite a long story, missus, and I don't believe you're actually interested in hearing it."

The woman looked around and sighed. The cell was locked, the sun was about to set, and barring a miracle, there didn't seem to be any chance of her making it home in time for candlelighting. Resigned, she sat down on the floor facing the teenager. "Well, it seems like I have all the time in the world to listen to you, and since we're apparently going to be roommates here, spill."
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amother
Ultramarine


 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2023, 2:20 pm
top mom wrote:
In a beautiful, peaceful Shtetel named Torah V'Chesed, there lived a couple who were frum, eidel and had the most amazing Shalom Bayis.
Burech Hersh was a kollel yungerman, and Blima Hinda was the local sheitelmacher and tzinus lady.
Every night, when Burech Hersh walked in at exactly 9:40, his eishes chayil had two teas, and a Shmiras Haloshon sefer open to the right spot.
They celebrated finishing each chapter by sharing a chocolate danish from the local bakery.
Learning hilchos l"h was especially important to Blima Hinda, since, being a sheitelmacher, she was often privy to some juicy inside information. It obviously wouldn't dawn on her to share anything of that sort, but since she also dabbled in shidduchim, ( she was quite talented, that's why she managed to snag the shpitz bucher as her own shidduch ) she wanted to gain more knowledge in hilchos l'toeles.
9:35: Blima Hinda hears the telltale sound of Burech Hersh's key turning in the doorknob.
How very strange, why was he home a full five minutes early?


Even more strange was how Burech Hersh went straight upstairs to their bedroom, without coming into the kitchen.
Blima Hinda, very concerned at this point came into the bedroom to find Burch Hersh sitting on his bed crying.
"Burch Hersh, what's wrong?" She asked with fear in her voice. "What happened?"
Burech Hersh looked up at his wife.
"I don't know how to tell you this Blima Hinda." He began. "You know how I always go to R'ZZ's shiur after Maariv, after evening seder?"
"Yees," Answered Blima Hinda slowly.
"Well, he was speaking strongly about the importance of honesty in relationships. And I just can't do it anymore," Burech Hersh put his head in his hands and sobbed again.
"Burech Hersh, you know you can talk to me about anything." Blima Hinda was very concerned at this point. Wild thoughts began to cross her mind. She sank down on her bed and looked at him.
"Shall I bring up our tea and we'll discuss things properly?" She offered.
Burech Hersh looked up and said despairingly. "That's my problem. I don't know how to say this the right way and I don't want you to be offended and upset." He paused to let out another sob.
"Blima Hinda, I hate tea!" He finally admitted quietly. "I've never felt confident enough to say something to you. I know how much you enjoy us sitting down together and you always prepare it so carefully, but I've never liked it. I just never wanted to hurt your feelings. But I can't do it anymore."
Blima Hinda was so shocked by this that she rushed out the room and ran downstairs. She picked up her beloved Tehillim and opened it to daven for clarity.
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top mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2023, 3:55 pm
amother Ultramarine wrote:
Even more strange was how Burech Hersh went straight upstairs to their bedroom, without coming into the kitchen.
Blima Hinda, very concerned at this point came into the bedroom to find Burch Hersh sitting on his bed crying.
"Burch Hersh, what's wrong?" She asked with fear in her voice. "What happened?"
Burech Hersh looked up at his wife.
"I don't know how to tell you this Blima Hinda." He began. "You know how I always go to R'ZZ's shiur after Maariv, after evening seder?"
"Yees," Answered Blima Hinda slowly.
"Well, he was speaking strongly about the importance of honesty in relationships. And I just can't do it anymore," Burech Hersh put his head in his hands and sobbed again.
"Burech Hersh, you know you can talk to me about anything." Blima Hinda was very concerned at this point. Wild thoughts began to cross her mind. She sank down on her bed and looked at him.
"Shall I bring up our tea and we'll discuss things properly?" She offered.
Burech Hersh looked up and said despairingly. "That's my problem. I don't know how to say this the right way and I don't want you to be offended and upset." He paused to let out another sob.
"Blima Hinda, I hate tea!" He finally admitted quietly. "I've never felt confident enough to say something to you. I know how much you enjoy us sitting down together and you always prepare it so carefully, but I've never liked it. I just never wanted to hurt your feelings. But I can't do it anymore."
Blima Hinda was so shocked by this that she rushed out the room and ran downstairs. She picked up her beloved Tehillim and opened it to daven for clarity.


LOL LOL
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amother
DarkKhaki


 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2023, 4:55 pm
Im not very good at writing but omg this is so good! keep em coming
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balance




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2023, 5:24 pm
Her Tehillim fell open as though a hand from above had opened it for her.

אשתך כגפן פוריה בירכתי ביתך
Hm, she pondered. How could that apply to this situation? Well, her beloved husband was in the corner of her house sobbing so what should she do?

Ah! She ran to the kitchen and ran back upstairs, puffing and panting over her speed to do retzon baala. She opened the door and handed him the bottle of wine.

I'm so sorry! I should have known that gefen poria referred to giving you wine to drink, not tea. I can't find one posuk in the whole tehillim about tea.

We should phone the Rav immediately and check if tea is something a wife is allowed to serve her husband! mamash pikuach nefesh.
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amother
DarkRed


 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2023, 5:33 pm
Her reaction wasn’t dramatic enough for the tea thing. Time seemed to stop, Blima Hinda felt like she got punched in the gut. She keeled over from the shock. The room started spinning around her, she grasped the wall to keep from falling, and her mouth formed into a perfect O.
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gr82no




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2023, 5:46 pm
What happened to the other story? I only read the first two pages and then didnt have time to read the rest, was it locked or deleted?
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top mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2023, 6:20 pm
It was removed completely, but then it was cleaned up and brought back.
Renamed something like unpublisheable pg13 novel
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2023, 6:21 pm
top mom wrote:
It was removed completely, but then it was cleaned up and brought back.
Renamed something like unpublisheable pg13 novel

What does pg13 mean?
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amother
Mustard


 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2023, 6:25 pm
amother Blonde wrote:
What does pg13 mean?

I googled it, it means something like appropriate for ages 13+
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amother
Starflower


 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 4:50 am
top mom wrote:
It was removed completely, but then it was cleaned up and brought back.
Renamed something like unpublisheable pg13 novel


Just went to look for it, was it removed again? Didn't come up in search
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top mom




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 5:02 am
amother Starflower wrote:
Just went to look for it, was it removed again? Didn't come up in search

It's called Let’s write a PG13 unpublisheable novel
Hope you find it
Enjoy!
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amother
DarkKhaki


 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 5:04 am
It just goes to show, that that Imas prefer a more fun/interesting novel!
So to those who shut the thread down here is the perfect example since this story isnt really taking off is it.
Why?
And if you deemed the other title so inappropriate then why aren't you glad that this one is now open and/or contribute?
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Elfrida




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 5:27 am
Food wrote:
A Chanukah Novel


When the door clanged shut behind her, she incoherently wondered why the guard wasn't cackling maniacally like in all the stories, or at least jeering at her menacingly. Instead he shuffled down the hallway in the direction they had came from, his rubber-soled boots squeaking against the damp floor. The other sound she was able to make out was a steady dripping noise somewhere to her left... and a teenager sniffling in the corner.

"So, what are you here for?" mumbled the teenager, who's unwashed, stringy hair was barely visable in the dim light.

"I have no idea," replied the dazed woman. She took a cautious step forward.

"Don't come too close," warned the teenager in a monotone. "It's contagious."

"What's contagious?"

"The skunk is rabid."

"Wait a second. Who are you, how did you smuggle a skunk into a prison cell, and why are you in prison in the first place?" spluttered the woman, at this point convinced that she had been teleported into an alternate universe. Surely it hadn't been that same morning that she was in her neighborhood grocery, buying sacks of potatoes for tonight's latkes and hocking with her neighbors at the checkout line about the price of eggs.

"That's quite a long story, missus, and I don't believe you're actually interested in hearing it."

The woman looked around and sighed. The cell was locked, the sun was about to set, and barring a miracle, there didn't seem to be any chance of her making it home in time for candlelighting. Resigned, she sat down on the floor facing the teenager. "Well, it seems like I have all the time in the world to listen to you, and since we're apparently going to be roommates here, spill."


Let's get out of prison here, or else stick to Baila Hinda, or whatever her name is. This is reminding me too much of the hostages.
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