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How can I help my son



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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Feb 12 2024, 2:41 am
Hi

I have a son who can get quite anxious. He's highly intelligent, a little inflexible, and sometimes when he and the brother right under him play rough and tumble, and he gets hurt, he can get very, very stressed from it, like crying hysterically, not quite breathing enough. He enters a similar state when he's very scared or nervous. I see that it's very much from his head I.e. he thinks his way into a panic.

I'm not the calmest myself, and I would love to hear about resources to teach him (and perhaps myself on the way) how to calm down when stressed, how to breathe when feeling nervousness, etc. Kind of like the tools that I wish someone would have taught me earlier. I really want to help him gain control and learn that he can change his state, etc.

Thanks
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amother
Butterscotch


 

Post Mon, Feb 12 2024, 2:59 am
Look into dbt skills

But he sounds like he has overactive fight-flight which is a physiological thing and responds to physiological interventions
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tf




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 12 2024, 3:21 am
amother OP wrote:
Hi

I have a son who can get quite anxious. He's highly intelligent, a little inflexible, and sometimes when he and the brother right under him play rough and tumble, and he gets hurt, he can get very, very stressed from it, like crying hysterically, not quite breathing enough. He enters a similar state when he's very scared or nervous. I see that it's very much from his head I.e. he thinks his way into a panic.

I'm not the calmest myself, and I would love to hear about resources to teach him (and perhaps myself on the way) how to calm down when stressed, how to breathe when feeling nervousness, etc. Kind of like the tools that I wish someone would have taught me earlier. I really want to help him gain control and learn that he can change his state, etc.

Thanks

I don't know you, so I'm not sure what you're already doing so I'm just listing whatever I know and you pick and choose.
1- you need to learn to stay calm. He's picking up on your energy
2- PRIDE skills (there's training on this)
3- tune in to him on a regular basis. Bend down or pick him up so you meet him eye to eye and Always hear him out.

You'll see a shift almost instantly and continue doing so eventually the anxiety goes away.
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tf




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 12 2024, 3:21 am
amother OP wrote:
Hi

I have a son who can get quite anxious. He's highly intelligent, a little inflexible, and sometimes when he and the brother right under him play rough and tumble, and he gets hurt, he can get very, very stressed from it, like crying hysterically, not quite breathing enough. He enters a similar state when he's very scared or nervous. I see that it's very much from his head I.e. he thinks his way into a panic.

I'm not the calmest myself, and I would love to hear about resources to teach him (and perhaps myself on the way) how to calm down when stressed, how to breathe when feeling nervousness, etc. Kind of like the tools that I wish someone would have taught me earlier. I really want to help him gain control and learn that he can change his state, etc.

Thanks

I don't know you, so I'm not sure what you're already doing so I'm just listing whatever I know and you pick and choose.
1- you need to learn to stay calm. He's picking up on your energy
2- PRIDE skills (there's training on this)
3- tune in to him on a regular basis. Bend down or pick him up so you meet him eye to eye and Always hear him out.

You'll see a shift almost instantly and continue doing so eventually the anxiety goes away.
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Feb 12 2024, 4:01 am
Thank you for your input- both of you.
tf- part of the problem is that I am not good at calming myself- I'd appreciate resource suggestions too.
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tf




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 12 2024, 4:26 am
amother OP wrote:
Thank you for your input- both of you.
tf- part of the problem is that I am not good at calming myself- I'd appreciate resource suggestions too.

I guess you can use a social worker for anxiety. It's not a 1-2-3 fix; it's learning skills, which takes time and effort.
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Brit in Israel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 12 2024, 4:53 am
Not sure how to help with the anxiety, my 4 yr old is starting to show signs so I need to look into it.
Until now I have taught my kids breathing, it helps me too.
We do 'smell the flowers' to breathe in through the nose and 'blow out the candles' so out is through the mouth.
Anytime we need to breathe we say 'let's do breathing, smell the flowers blow the candles, repeat a few times with the words and then just the breathing.
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amother
Stone


 

Post Mon, Feb 12 2024, 10:35 am
My DD took DGC to OT for sensory integration & his anxiety went way down. You may want to have your son evaluated to see if he can benefit.

After reading about sensory issues bec of a couple of DGC, I finally got myself in to an OT who works w adults! Although I never thought I was particularly anxious, I feel like it's helping me a lot!
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