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Young families vacationing together
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 9:43 am
A few of my neighbors are renting a place together in Orlando for pesach (upper 20s low 30s). Dh is upset since that we aren't going since I hate doing things with other families. I think its awkward and uncomfortable to not have my own space for so long. In general he feels like we have no good family friends because I hate doing dates together or sudas... I have my own friends and he has his. Am I so wrong? I dont see the thrill in getting together with other families . I love being with dh and my kids I don't need more. Furthermore my seminary teachers spoke against these ideas we are yeshivish lakewood type ... I could totally see their point. I'm curious also if anyone on here has done such a vacation and what the reality is like
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amother
Cappuccino


 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 9:45 am
I don't see the issue with going together if you all have kids and it's not just a couples' trip, but I value my personal space too much to enjoy that kind of setup.
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amother
Stoneblue


 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 9:50 am
I agree with you. I am yeshivish lakewood type and I think it is inappropriate and I would feel very uncomfortable doing such a thing. I am sure many agree with you.
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amother
Broom


 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 9:52 am
amother OP wrote:
A few of my neighbors are renting a place together in Orlando for pesach (upper 20s low 30s). Dh is upset since that we aren't going since I hate doing things with other families. I think its awkward and uncomfortable to not have my own space for so long. In general he feels like we have no good family friends because I hate doing dates together or sudas... I have my own friends and he has his. Am I so wrong? I dont see the thrill in getting together with other families . I love being with dh and my kids I don't need more. Furthermore my seminary teachers spoke against these ideas we are yeshivish lakewood type ... I could totally see their point. I'm curious also if anyone on here has done such a vacation and what the reality is like


I agree with you. I personally don't think it's appropriate for families to hang out together & spend an entire yom tov together in the same home.
Especially if the house has a pool, there's almost no way that this can work well while staying within accordance of halacha.
Maybe your husband should discuss it with his Rav to get his POV.
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amother
Copper


 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 9:52 am
I’m RW MO and my husband wouldn’t be ok with this setup. We absolutely host both couples and singles in our home for meals but this setup seems totally different to me
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amother
Junglegreen


 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 9:53 am
Is renting an Airbnb or other alternative accommodation nearby and getting together for some of the meals and option?
Obviously probably more expensive for you, but this way you could participate some of the time and you could still have your space.
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amother
Daffodil


 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 9:53 am
I wouldn't vacation and share a space with other couples, even with their kids.

However, even if you prefer not to, maybe you can invite for Shabbos meals once in a while as a compromise
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Notsobusy




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 9:55 am
I would also not want to share a house. I would do it if we could each have our own house next to each other. It would be nice to be able socialize when I want, have friends for my kids, share responsibilities, and have my own space to go back to when I need it.
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hodeez




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 9:56 am
This is an odd arrangement
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ruchelbuckle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 9:58 am
I am 100% with you. I think there is a potential for a real lack of tznius. I would not really be comfortable with sharing a house/common spaces with someone else's husband for a vacation.
Seudas- I have less of an issue with, but sharing a house and all the seudas over a y"t? No way. Real lack of privacy, and definitely could lead to a breakdown in sensitivity.

Sounds like your husband is very social, and you're not as much. That's okay! Just need to work together to compromise for a solution that doesn't make you feel uncomfortable.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 9:59 am
amother Junglegreen wrote:
Is renting an Airbnb or other alternative accommodation nearby and getting together for some of the meals and option?
Obviously probably more expensive for you, but this way you could participate some of the time and you could still have your space.


He says he's ok with not going he was frustrated in general about us not having family friends because we don't hang out much with other families. Why do I need family friends we all have our own friends and I'm fine with that. We both come from big families so our simchas are packed. I'm still trying to figure out whats the big deal to not have family friends. My kids have a ton of friends (school neighbors , cousins )
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 10:00 am
In one house really can’t process that.. does every couple have there own bathroom imagine bumping into your male neibhor if u need the bathroom at night just NO. If everyone has there own apartment and u eat some meals together then fine maybe
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 10:03 am
ruchelbuckle wrote:
I am 100% with you. I think there is a potential for a real lack of tznius. I would not really be comfortable with sharing a house/common spaces with someone else's husband for a vacation.
Seudas- I have less of an issue with, but sharing a house and all the seudas over a y"t? No way. Real lack of privacy, and definitely could lead to a breakdown in sensitivity.

Sounds like your husband is very social, and you're not as much. That's okay! Just need to work together to compromise for a solution that doesn't make you feel uncomfortable.


I actually am very social but I get quiet around other Men
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hodeez




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 10:04 am
amother OP wrote:
I actually am very social but I get quiet around other Men

Sounds like the opposite of a problem
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amother
Thistle


 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 10:05 am
I would not be comfortable with this OP

some of my siblings in law do group vacations and I think its weird.
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amother
Springgreen


 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 10:08 am
amother Brunette wrote:
In one house really can’t process that.. does every couple have there own bathroom imagine bumping into your male neibhor if u need the bathroom at night just NO. If everyone has there own apartment and u eat some meals together then fine maybe


Many nice airbnbs have several bedroom suites.so you won’t be bumping into anyone on the way to the bathroom,

But I still feel it’s awkward.
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amother
Sand


 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 10:08 am
I’ve done this with family but not for a whole pesach and I certainly cannot imagine doing it with non family members.
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amother
Junglegreen


 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 10:10 am
amother Brunette wrote:
In one house really can’t process that.. does every couple have there own bathroom imagine bumping into your male neibhor if u need the bathroom at night just NO. If everyone has there own apartment and u eat some meals together then fine maybe


This is off topic and I have no idea what these couples' arrangements are but I will share that we were once invited to a Shabbos Sheva brachos where four or five couples, some with young children all stayed in the same villa. I was a bit taken aback when I got there, however each bedroom had its own adjoining bathroom and the only common area was a huge living room and kitchen. All seudas were held outside the villa so there really was very little opportunity for mingling and besides it was for only one night.
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chestnut




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 10:19 am
amother OP wrote:
He says he's ok with not going he was frustrated in general about us not having family friends because we don't hang out much with other families. Why do I need family friends we all have our own friends and I'm fine with that. We both come from big families so our simchas are packed. I'm still trying to figure out whats the big deal to not have family friends. My kids have a ton of friends (school neighbors , cousins )

When would he like to hang out with family friends, for shabbos meals?
If you each have different friends, would he be ok with inviting your friends with their families? If so, can you do it from time to time?
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 02 2024, 10:24 am
I would do something like this only if each family had its own unit, Iike in a kibbutz holiday village with a bunch of zimmers.
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