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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Putting kid to sleep



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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Apr 09 2024, 8:42 pm
I have a 3.5 year old who will not go to sleep without me in the room. Won’t even let it be my husband. Always been this way and I have made it work, but lately it’s been taking him an hour an half to fall asleep and that takes away my time from my other children who also need me.

Suggestions or maybe a book I can read with him to explain he can fall asleep without me?
A chart in theory could work- but once he understands it’s ok to go to sleep without a parent sitting by his bed.

Hope this makes sense!
Any eitza appreciated!
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amother
Turquoise


 

Post Tue, Apr 09 2024, 8:46 pm
I never had this setup (of staying in room with kid falling asleep) but why is it taking him 1.5 hours to fall asleep, I think is the better question? Is bedtime too early? Is he napping beyond what he needs?
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amother
Canary


 

Post Tue, Apr 09 2024, 8:48 pm
Can you leave the room for a minute or two and then come back? To go to the bathroom, wash some dishes, say shema with another child, etc. Tell him where you are going and that you'll be right back. Slowly increase the frequency of length as needed and tolerated. Give a choice - I need to go to the bathroom. Do you want x or y to sit with you or do you want me to come back in two minutes?
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amother
Black


 

Post Wed, Apr 10 2024, 12:05 am
It's midnight and my 8yr old is still not sleeping!!! Sad
Yes, he got melatonin at 7.45pm!
In our case I think it's anxiety (and huge behavior issues!) I have a Dr's appointment coming up next week!
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amother
Dandelion


 

Post Wed, Apr 10 2024, 3:37 am
amother Black wrote:
It's midnight and my 8yr old is still not sleeping!!! Sad
Yes, he got melatonin at 7.45pm!
In our case I think it's anxiety (and huge behavior issues!) I have a Dr's appointment coming up next week!
Anxiety, behavior issues and insomnia are all huge red flags for pandas
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Apr 10 2024, 11:19 pm
amother Turquoise wrote:
I never had this setup (of staying in room with kid falling asleep) but why is it taking him 1.5 hours to fall asleep, I think is the better question? Is bedtime too early? Is he napping beyond what he needs?


It takes him a while to fall asleep probably because I put him into early. But I do that because it takes him so long to fall asleep And I don’t want to be sitting with him at 9pm. So I start at 7- and usually leave his room at 8:15/8:30.
I explain to him that he can talk to his brother or read books but he is too afraid I will leave the room.
I would be happy to put him in later if I could expect him to fall asleep quickly but that doesn’t happen!
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Apr 10 2024, 11:21 pm
amother Canary wrote:
Can you leave the room for a minute or two and then come back? To go to the bathroom, wash some dishes, say shema with another child, etc. Tell him where you are going and that you'll be right back. Slowly increase the frequency of length as needed and tolerated. Give a choice - I need to go to the bathroom. Do you want x or y to sit with you or do you want me to come back in two minutes?


Try this but he screams and cries until I come back. He is truly afraid to be in his room without me. I don’t know why!
He allows some of the siblings to lay with him but he isn’t happy about it -
And it’s a very very bdieved situation.
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Wed, Apr 10 2024, 11:25 pm
Even if you could solve the anxiety piece, it's not realistic to expect a young child to stay in bed for an hour and a half until he falls asleep. If he's not falling asleep with in 15 minutes on a good day, then there's some issue with his sleeping routine or medically.
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stillnewlywed




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 10 2024, 11:56 pm
amother Ginger wrote:
Even if you could solve the anxiety piece, it's not realistic to expect a young child to stay in bed for an hour and a half until he falls asleep. If he's not falling asleep with in 15 minutes on a good day, then there's some issue with his sleeping routine or medically.


This. Why don't you try bedtime at 8? Then if he's falling asleep within 15 min you can work the part of you leaving the room.
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