Can we have a closed forum for kollel wives?

Raisin

Fri, Aug 22 2008, 7:09 am

happyone wrote:

I didnt read through the entire thread. But I believe the reason some of us feel there's a need for private forums is the fact that is no respect for other peoples beliefs, ideas, and way of life. If some of us here would learn to "agree to disagree" on certain topics, there would be no need for private, hidden forums. Nothing wrong with controversy -- however, lack of respect and bashing is what turns people away.

I've been a kollel wife, I've been a SAHM, I've worked three jobs at once to pay our expenses, and I've been at the end where both my dh and myself have worked to the bone. It's hard to understand the other side of the coin till you've been there. As life changes, and different needs have to be met, your past dreams and aspirations sometimes need to be put aside.

If you cannot understand the needs and challenges of kollel moms, and don't have respect for their way of living and their sacrificing for Torah, the least you can do is not argue the fact that they have a hidden forum.

And that is why a closed forum can lose out. there are many people on here who have been kollel wives in the past. Just because they are not now does not mean they do not support the lifestyle and can join in a discussion about it.

creativemommyto3

Fri, Aug 22 2008, 7:42 am

I solved my problem by starting a thread about enabling my husband to learn on a different forum... but you know what... I was bothered b/c I think that I have many of the same struggles as full time kollel wives..

the not enough time with dh, the lack of money, pushing myself to enable him to learn... I happen to admire full time kollel women a lot and therefor thought I had what to gain.. obviously I need to ask the ones that I know in real life who know my pnimius and know that I am just asking to find answers not to bash.

I wanted to be part of the forum so that I can ask and not deal with a whole debate about kollel either.

Maybe if posters would actually explain it a logical point by point level and what exactly makes it different, I would understand.

by the way, this thread also shows that kollel wives are also bashers..

Atali

Fri, Aug 22 2008, 8:45 am

creativemommyto3 wrote:

First of all, I hope that you are not referring to me, as I did not intend to bash. If I hope you will be moichel me if I have offended you.

In theory, I would have no problem with you or any other respectful person being on the forum. I can see that you are sincere and have nothing but respect for your mesiras nefesh. The problem is that the guidelines have to be drawn somewhere, or else the forum would be no different from having an open forum, which, as you can see looking at the kollel threads, leads to bashing.

By way of example, someone in the Lubavitch forum suggested creating a closed forum for shluchos.

Some people objected, since the Rebbe said that all Lubavitchers who reach out to non-frum yidden are shluchim (which is true).

However, there are shluchim (which hopeful every Lubavitcher is) and there are "Shluchim with a capital S" who dedicate their lives to spreading yiddishkiet. I personally do not spend all day doing shlichus; Instead I work at creating training programs for companies in order to earn parnassa. Therefore, I am not a "Shlucha with a capital S" and do not belong on that forum (which I don't think was created anyway). I am not offended that I am not on the forum, because I don't belong there.

Do you see my point?