Nobody Wants My Son

timeout

Wed, Dec 14 2005, 12:35 pm

Continueing from my posts on the ADHD forum I started today to try and find a school for my and guess what as per my 7 phone calls to 7 defferent schools nobody wants him!

We should definitely feel ashamed when there are no schools that will take our children. Banging head

gryp

Wed, Dec 14 2005, 1:34 pm

im sorry youre going through a difficult time.
if certain schools dont want to accept him, then those schools are not the right place for your son anyway. you wouldnt want your son in a school where he would have bad experiences.
much hatzlacha.

timeout

Wed, Dec 14 2005, 2:54 pm

Yes Smily, last night the Pre-School director who is also my sons mother told the Shadow she basically should take my son out of the class as much as possible.

The Shadow says that every day when she is coming into class she is finding my son in the corner and they still haven't called me in for a meeting.

timeout

Wed, Dec 14 2005, 2:56 pm

BTW thanks RG for your support and just want to find somewhere for him and soon I don't want him to feel like a bad kid and it's starting to affect my Sholom Bayis I haven't spoken normally to my husband since this started last week.

In his heart I know he blames all these problems on ME since I was the one who pushed for my son to have therapy to begin with. Sad

middy

Wed, Dec 14 2005, 3:06 pm

timeout- I really feel for you. I am in a similar sit. w/ my dyslexic son. My DH feels it's my fault bec. I picked up on his issues at a very young age. He's convinced that if I hadn't said anything n/o would have noticed. The last school my son was in would not try a/t . I switched him this yr.. Before the interview I did not tell the school a/t about him. Only after they met him and wanted to interview him did I mention he was dyslexic and then I pointed out all the interventions he's getting... .You are better off waiting until the end of the year and trying to switch him for next yr. once you enroll him for Sept. maybe homeschool him for the rest of the yr. if his sit. is so bad. Good Luck!!

elisecohen

Wed, Dec 14 2005, 3:06 pm

I really do know how you feel. We just got our son into the one frum program that would take him about 2 weeks ago, and we're not that wild about this program. Plus, it's $32,000/yr.

It is absolutely intolerable the way Jewish educators treat these children with their special neshamos. There is a great book entitled, Unconventional Wisdom: Torah Perspectives on the Child Who Has Difficulty Learning, by Reuven Elkins. I wish every single educator in the Jewish schools was required to read it. The author discusses Chazal and special needs children in the schools, then has interviews with 8 contemporary gedolim and mechanchim, then discusses special topics in chinuch related to children with learning disabilities. Finally, he cites sources in chazal, rishonim, and achronim, about the obligation upon the schools and educators to work with our children.

Unfortunately, telling parents to read the book doesn't help as much (though at least it's a vindication) as if the educators would spend an hour or two with it.

timeout

Wed, Dec 14 2005, 3:16 pm

After such a horrible day at least I feel a little better knowing I'm not alone.

As I was always taught honesty is the best policy when we interviewed for the school he is in now I didn't say anything and I think that's why now they have so much against me and my son.

Homeschooling isn't such a good idea some mothers are so good at these things (I'm not one of them) and he loves being with other boys his age and playing with them.

I'm even thinking about sending him to aschool that's not so frum! I really don't have any answers and no one seems to know what to do.

happymom

Wed, Dec 14 2005, 3:16 pm

Quote:

The Shadow says that every day when she is coming into class she is finding my son in the corner

how wrong! This will definately not teach him, especially since he just has lots of energy and isnt trying to be bad Sad

Arent there any schools that are very small and give lots of positive attention to the kids? I know there is one here.... but It would be really good if there was one in your area! Im sure thats what he needs POSITIVE attention. I hope things get better for you soon!

middy

Wed, Dec 14 2005, 3:28 pm

Let me carify. I did not mean not to tell the school the truth especially in a sit. where they're going to find out a/w you are much better off telling them upfront. I just meant 1. wait till u have the interview and then tell them. 2. emphasize all your son's good qualities.
Also, I didn't mean for you to homeschool instead of school. I only meant to finish up the yr. so no more damage is done but you're better off waiting until you find a new school 1st.

sunflower mom

Wed, Dec 14 2005, 3:34 pm

I'm so sorry to hear that so many schools refuse to take your son in. tOn a more positive note, they probably do not have teachers that are qualified to deal with children who have difficulties so you wouldn't want to entrust your son in their care. Also, at this time of the school year, classes have just settled into normal classroom routines and teachers do not want that disrupted with new children, adjustments and especially difficult children. Maybe look for a small setting preschool and ask if any of their teachers have Sp. Ed qualifications. Maybe this will make them accept your son more easily or at least more uncomfortable in refusing you.
Good luck!

timeout

Wed, Dec 14 2005, 3:34 pm

I'm really trying to find something last year he was in Yeled V'yalda and I'm seriously thinking to put him back in even though ther is no transportation and I don't know how much better it will be.

My shadow doesn't know if this is such a good idea since the whole point was to get him in regular Yeshiva.

smily

Wed, Dec 14 2005, 3:36 pm

How old is your son? Could he still be in a private home pre school setting? Do you know other parents who can recommend a good school with a heart. Do you live in a place with lots of schools? It seems like it if you called 7 places. Don't get discouraged it's hard but hopeful you will find the right place. What is the problem where he is now? Just that they didn't know ahead of time?????? Or does he really belong in a specific setting?

timeout

Wed, Dec 14 2005, 3:42 pm

My son is 4 and every school that I am being recommende is telling me NO.

I think today was just such a bad day that I'm totally discouraged, I expected at least some positive comments from schools or at least for them to say maybe try next year, not flat out NO before hearing even what the problem if any were.

Tefila

Wed, Dec 14 2005, 4:28 pm

Quote:

In his heart I know he blames all these problems on ME since I was the one who pushed for my son to have therapy to begin with.

Oh no

don't let this happen , try to speak and show your husband extra attention let him know u love him, but you have a mothers insight and know whats right, concerning your son.

Do not let this get btw the two of you, since you both r going to need each others support even more so now Exclamation

.

Please first consider home schooling for tyhe reat of the school year atleast. Then next yr look into all school choices out there even if it means transportation maybe a problem. Once you choose stick to it. Hatzlacha I truly feel for you Wink

Oh and please change the title Exclamation

Since there must be someone out there, who wants your son Exclamation