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S\O Ladies Kiddush at Bar Mitzvah



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GLUE




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 16 2024, 6:48 pm
Am I the only one left in this town that likes Ladies Kiddush?
I like getting out on Shobbus to see people especially in the winter when nobody goes out.
I don't like going out during the week to someone kids Bar Mitzvah.
Double if all I am invited for is the dessert. I have to get all dressed up for what 5 minutes? At least on Shobbus I am already dressed up.

Why does a Ladies Kiddush cost so much? I made a few and it did not seam to be so much money. Then again I also baked cookies for a few months in advance and put them in the freezer not everyone can do this. I also brought the table clothes at NPGS(cheaper then the $store and many nice colors)They are disposable and after wards I just threw them out. I know some people go crazy about renting\borrowing non-disposable table cloths. Still can't understand why, but that is me everyone has there own craziness.

The latest trend is not to serve food, so how much does it cost now?
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 16 2024, 7:15 pm
I agree.
But a few things for me.
1) I live in a development so whether I make a ladies kiddush or not, many of my neighbors will come by.
2) I made it clear to myself and my daughter that I'm not in any competition to be fancy. I just want to share my simcha.
We borrowed tablecloths from a gemach. And used disposable trays, plus a few free gemach trays.
I made 2 large salads.
I cut up melon tiny into mini mousse cups. It was very easy and so fancy
I baked tons of basic chocolate chip cookies and chocolate cookies. Froze for weeks in advance. Also simple chocolate cupcakes and stuff.
We did make a few fancy cookies, homemade miniatures and stuff like that. We bought 2 nice cakes.
I made them in my living room.
The total cost was $700.

And I had tobs of mezonos leftovers that we enjoyed for weeks.

I didn't make a dessert. The bo bayom was for family, mostly not from Lakewood. I invited my 2 best friends. That's it.
My sons friends from the neighborhood were invited for dessert and dancing but I didn't make a dessert.

Making a ladies Kiddush came out much much cheaper than doing a sweet table.
But only as long as I stuck to my principles and didn't get convinced to party planners and rentals and thousands of miniatures


Last edited by keym on Thu, May 16 2024, 7:27 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 16 2024, 7:21 pm
I think it's all peer pressure.
I have never made a Bar Mitzvah so I don't know what it's like. But I was shmoozing after my DD's wedding with a neighbor of mine who is making one I think soon, and she was telling me she wishes she could just get away with making a Kiddush for the men in shul, which needs cake platters, chulent, and kugel basically. But her parents and in-laws insist on coming and once you have a ladies kiddush (she told me) you need a party planner and the works, and it's a whole huge expense. I asked her why she couldn't just make it in the house and she said her in-laws and parents will come and expect it in shul, and once it's in shul it's a shebang.
It's a shame.
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 16 2024, 7:33 pm
If you don't do a ladies kiddush that means your friends wont come to say Mazel tov? To me that that would make me really sad. I was so grateful for every friend who came to my son’s kiddush. He's been on a long journey and sharing the nachas was something special.
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small bean




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 16 2024, 7:37 pm
I hate going to all events and therfore I have no interest in a ladies kiddush. If you want to say Mazal tov to me call me.
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amother
Burntblack


 

Post Thu, May 16 2024, 7:52 pm
I also by far prefer going to a kiddush than to a dessert reception and that’s why I made a ladies kiddush and no dessert reception for my sons bar mitzvah. I did it myself, tons of baking, Gemach tablecloths and serving pieces so it was a lot of work putting it together but not a lot of money.
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small bean




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 16 2024, 7:55 pm
I want to add, I didn't do dessert reception or ladies kiddush. People came anyway but I didn't do anything. I don't do to others, what I don't want done to myself.
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amother
Azalea


 

Post Thu, May 16 2024, 7:56 pm
Dessert reception is for people not in walking distance, kiddush is for neighbors. Used to be such a nice chance to get out and see everyone, it’s a shame that standard have made them unaffordable.
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Fri, May 17 2024, 4:53 am
keym wrote:
I agree.
But a few things for me.
1) I live in a development so whether I make a ladies kiddush or not, many of my neighbors will come by.
2) I made it clear to myself and my daughter that I'm not in any competition to be fancy. I just want to share my simcha.
We borrowed tablecloths from a gemach. And used disposable trays, plus a few free gemach trays.
I made 2 large salads.
I cut up melon tiny into mini mousse cups. It was very easy and so fancy
I baked tons of basic chocolate chip cookies and chocolate cookies. Froze for weeks in advance. Also simple chocolate cupcakes and stuff.
We did make a few fancy cookies, homemade miniatures and stuff like that. We bought 2 nice cakes.
I made them in my living room.
The total cost was $700.

And I had tobs of mezonos leftovers that we enjoyed for weeks.

I didn't make a dessert. The bo bayom was for family, mostly not from Lakewood. I invited my 2 best friends. That's it.
My sons friends from the neighborhood were invited for dessert and dancing but I didn't make a dessert.

Making a ladies Kiddush came out much much cheaper than doing a sweet table.
But only as long as I stuck to my principles and didn't get convinced to party planners and rentals and thousands of miniatures

Homemade baked goods are way yummier than those mass produced desserts anyway!
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Comptroller




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 17 2024, 5:19 am
I think it's not nice at all to prepare a kiddush for men only and not for women.

On the other hand, I think you could serve exactly the same thing to men and women. So I really, really don't understand why someone would need to hire a caterer to include women, but not for men only.
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Elfrida




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 17 2024, 5:25 am
I'd never heard of a Ladies Kiddush until these threads. Every kiddush I've made or been to has been for men and women. Depending on the space available, either in the same room with a mechitza or in different rooms. Mostly the same food and layout for each.
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amother
Oatmeal


 

Post Fri, May 17 2024, 5:25 am
Comptroller wrote:
I think it's not nice at all to prepare a kiddush for men only and not for women.

On the other hand, I think you could serve exactly the same thing to men and women. So I really, really don't understand why someone would need to hire a caterer to include women, but not for men only.


Does your shul have a ladies section?
Most jackson small garage shuls do not. Making a kiddush for women means taking over your whole house.
I personally never made a kiddush for women and actually hate going to kiddeishim so it’s a win win for me
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patzer




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 17 2024, 5:27 am
Comptroller wrote:
I think it's not nice at all to prepare a kiddush for men only and not for women.

On the other hand, I think you could serve exactly the same thing to men and women. So I really, really don't understand why someone would need to hire a caterer to include women, but not for men only.


I agree 100%.
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amother
Hyssop


 

Post Fri, May 17 2024, 5:31 am
Chayalle wrote:
I think it's all peer pressure.
I have never made a Bar Mitzvah so I don't know what it's like. But I was shmoozing after my DD's wedding with a neighbor of mine who is making one I think soon, and she was telling me she wishes she could just get away with making a Kiddush for the men in shul, which needs cake platters, chulent, and kugel basically. But her parents and in-laws insist on coming and once you have a ladies kiddush (she told me) you need a party planner and the works, and it's a whole huge expense. I asked her why she couldn't just make it in the house and she said her in-laws and parents will come and expect it in shul, and once it's in shul it's a shebang.
It's a shame.


Why does she have to make a ladies kiddush for her parents and in laws? My parents and in laws will come bH and I don’t plan to make a ladies kiddush

Op everyone. Should do what makes them happy. I work during the week and have no time to run around to gemachs or bake or cut fruit so I would need to purchase everything and hire someone to get the tablecloths and paper goods. That’s a big expense. In which I am not interested. (I am an introvert Smile )

I will have a beautiful seudah for family after the men’s kiddush
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amother
Hyssop


 

Post Fri, May 17 2024, 5:32 am
Comptroller wrote:
I think it's not nice at all to prepare a kiddush for men only and not for women.

On the other hand, I think you could serve exactly the same thing to men and women. So I really, really don't understand why someone would need to hire a caterer to include women, but not for men only.


In Lakewood most women in bar mitzvah age communities are not going to shul weekly.
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 17 2024, 7:19 am
My husband and sons daven at a local kollel that barely has a womens section so I get that part. My friends my age are not shul goers. But for a kiddush they open it up more and women will come. Also because there is only a kiddush when its a simcha so its something to look forward to.
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