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Forum -> Fashion and Beauty
I hate my overly large breasts making me sad
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316621




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 5:48 am
Yes, absolutely relating!!! You're so lucky you were able to afford a reduction, wish I could. Hope you figure out a solution that makes you happy.
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amother
Tan


 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 5:51 am
I just went to Saks to look for a new minimizer. I bought a good one by the company Simone Perele. I had the sales lady help me with the fit. I feel a lot better because my clothing fits better and is more tznius. (I think I’m a 34F). It’s a struggle.
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amother
Sunflower


 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 6:00 am
If you want to be absolutely sure of your bra size, you have to try on one that's too big in the cup and size down from there. Also, the band needs to be snug enough to give support, but if the cups are too small, the band will feel tight even if it's the right size or too big.
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amother
Geranium


 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 6:10 am
I have really large breast 38M 😣.
Before pregnancy it was like 36H.
Now the only way I can find bras is by going to Bravissimo but I scared if I get any bigger I won't be able to find bras that fit.
I hate them I doubt it would make a difference to my husband if I were an F.
I'm almost sure the size made it harder for breastfeeding so I stopped after 3 weeks.
I know that if I loose weight it will come out of my boobs but it's so hard.
Bh I don't really experience back pain from them.
I feel your pain.

I used to wear minimizers but I realised that minimizers push the weight around to other areas so make your clothes look bad on you.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 7:21 am
Dolly Welsh wrote:
We all know breast milk is best. It is.

But not at the price of making the woman miserable. You might consider the reduction thing now.

It won't affect your fertility, I assume, although you could check about that.

It might indeed prevent you from nursing, but you say you don't mind that.

Don't be miserable.


It doesn’t affect fertility. In the biopsy my breasts had hormonal tissue that is non cancerous. My cycles were the same after. But I do wonder if that extra tissue affected things.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 7:22 am
amother Geranium wrote:
I have really large breast 38M 😣.
Before pregnancy it was like 36H.
Now the only way I can find bras is by going to Bravissimo but I scared if I get any bigger I won't be able to find bras that fit.
I hate them I doubt it would make a difference to my husband if I were an F.
I'm almost sure the size made it harder for breastfeeding so I stopped after 3 weeks.
I know that if I loose weight it will come out of my boobs but it's so hard.
Bh I don't really experience back pain from them.
I feel your pain.

I used to wear minimizers but I realised that minimizers push the weight around to other areas so make your clothes look bad on you.


I’m so sorry I don’t know how you manage I was your pre nursing size. I was worried that if I don’t get a reduction, future pregnancy would be too painful with my approximately H sized breasts.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 7:26 am
amother Sunflower wrote:
If you want to be absolutely sure of your bra size, you have to try on one that's too big in the cup and size down from there. Also, the band needs to be snug enough to give support, but if the cups are too small, the band will feel tight even if it's the right size or too big.


This is my issue, the band really isn’t too small but the cups are. I bought a larger band because I can’t stand the idea of needing larger cups again. Before surgery I was a 34H or I. They were squeezing me into a 32J and it hurt so much on my back. They said a smaller band will hold up my breasts. It didn’t. After surgery I was a 34D for a while but a year later already those bras were a little small and I had actually lost a few pounds. I became a 34DD or 36D then. They said that the higher breasts meant I need a larger band even if smaller. The 36D was beginning to get tight. Now a 38D is even too small on the breasts and too large on the band. I would guess I’m a 36DDD by now and I can’t stand that reality. 36DDD is like a 36F.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 7:28 am
316621 wrote:
Yes, absolutely relating!!! You're so lucky you were able to afford a reduction, wish I could. Hope you figure out a solution that makes you happy.


My insurance covered it all. I hope my new insurance does the same. My doctor was a fantastic surgeon and his team of insurance claims people made sure it was covered.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 7:35 am
It frustrates me how much ppl say men love it. It’s not even true. Full normal sized breasts are desirable. very large breasts are a fixation. It’s embarrassing as a frum woman especially where I want to look modest and my breasts pop out. When I was younger and single it made me feel so hopeless about even attempting to be makpid on tsnius. Looking like a fixation which is considered a se-ual thing completely is not good. Why do we need to cater to men at our own pain? Being good to a man means treating him like someone we love and wanting to make happy, not making ourselves like a doormat or servant with no feelings. My husband feels very loved and cared for. He also doesn’t care much about breast size one way or another. He also said if I want another operation it’s my decision and he doesn’t think I need to but wants me to be happy. My breasts will never be small even with surgery but I can have comfortable sized ones.
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amother
Sunflower


 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 7:40 am
amother OP wrote:
This is my issue, the band really isn’t too small but the cups are. I bought a larger band because I can’t stand the idea of needing larger cups again. Before surgery I was a 34H or I. They were squeezing me into a 32J and it hurt so much on my back. They said a smaller band will hold up my breasts. It didn’t. After surgery I was a 34D for a while but a year later already those bras were a little small and I had actually lost a few pounds. I became a 34DD or 36D then. They said that the higher breasts meant I need a larger band even if smaller. The 36D was beginning to get tight. Now a 38D is even too small on the breasts and too large on the band. I would guess I’m a 36DDD by now and I can’t stand that reality. 36DDD is like a 36F.


That's really not that big. 36DD is actually close to average., and 36DDD is just a little above But is it possible that pre-surgery, you were bigger than a 34I, and that now you might be bigger than a 36F? Most women wear too small a cup size. If you can, try bras on backwards to find your real band size, and then try on the biggest cup size you can find and then work your way down from there until you find one that doesn't gape or wrinkle. (Make sure you're wearing it properly when you try it on.) Having a large cup size might make you feel weird, but a bra that actually fits makes all the difference. (And, I don't know if it helps, but I'm not considered that big, yet my letter size is past an F cup. People who don't know how bra sizes work would probably guess I'm a C or D. So if your letter size is making you feel freakishly huge, don't worry, it's not.)
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amother
Sunflower


 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 7:45 am
amother OP wrote:
It frustrates me how much ppl say men love it. It’s not even true. Full normal sized breasts are desirable. very large breasts are a fixation. It’s embarrassing as a frum woman especially where I want to look modest and my breasts pop out. When I was younger and single it made me feel so hopeless about even attempting to be makpid on tsnius. Looking like a fixation which is considered a se-ual thing completely is not good. Why do we need to cater to men at our own pain? Being good to a man means treating him like someone we love and wanting to make happy, not making ourselves like a doormat or servant with no feelings. My husband feels very loved and cared for. He also doesn’t care much about breast size one way or another. He also said if I want another operation it’s my decision and he doesn’t think I need to but wants me to be happy. My breasts will never be small even with surgery but I can have comfortable sized ones.


You're allowed to be uncomfortable. But your body isn't inherently untzniusdik. Hashem didn't give people bodies that are assur to have. And it's not a "fixation" (I guess that's probably an auto-censor?). It's true most men are more attracted to slightly above average than to extremely oversized. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with men liking very big (unless they don't respect their wives wanting a reduction) or that there's anything wrong with you (though of course you should prioritize your physical comfort).
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amother
Amaranthus


 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 8:19 am
Chantelle Norah great bra
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amother
Amaranthus


 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 8:21 am
Chantelle Norah great supportive minimizer
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amother
Amaranthus


 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 8:23 am
Abergel long line
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 8:27 am
I’m with you. And I think what makes it even harder is that in the frum world, is that it’s very hard to find clothing that will work in frum stores. For people who like to wear the same style clothing as their communities, this can be very alienating.

I feel the worst for high school girls who have to wear a sweater over there uniform shirt because of the gap. These button down shirts are so inappropriate and antiquated, not to mention humiliating for people who cannot look good in them. it’s so sad to see the girls sweating it out and the warmer months with sweaters over their uniform tops.
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amother
Sunflower


 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 8:48 am
Button down shirts (and a lot of clothing) aren't designed for women who have breasts, period. And it's actually insane, and I agree schools should stop using button down uniform shirts for this reason.
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amother
Tomato


 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 8:57 am
watergirl wrote:
I’m with you. And I think what makes it even harder is that in the frum world, is that it’s very hard to find clothing that will work in frum stores. For people who like to wear the same style clothing as their communities, this can be very alienating.

I feel the worst for high school girls who have to wear a sweater over there uniform shirt because of the gap. These button down shirts are so inappropriate and antiquated, not to mention humiliating for people who cannot look good in them. it’s so sad to see the girls sweating it out and the warmer months with sweaters over their uniform tops.

This is true, but interestingly, I work in a (coed) MO school where the uniform top is a polo shirt, not a button down, and almost all of the middle and high school age girls wear a school sweatshirt on top, even in hot weather. There's just something about girls at that stage being uncomfortable with their changing bodies and wanting to camouflage themselves. I don't think it's only a function of trying to follow tznius guidelines, I think it's just typical of teen girls. I was always small on top but I remember being that age and feeling mortified at the thought someone might be able to see the outline or straps of my bra, putting on extra layers etc. It's a normal stage to go through.
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amother
Snowdrop


 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 9:04 am
Op Im I am so sorry you have this kind of pain. Maybe a reduction now does make sense even if you are planning to have more kids. You shouldn’t have to live like that.
To all the flat chested ppl posting here this is not the place so insensitive. Can you imagine someone posta they are underweight always sick and having trouble gaining then all the large ladies comment how they wish they had that problem. I mean come on so not the place.
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 1:33 pm
If you're not getting a reduction in the immediate future, I warmly recommend that you check out https://www.reddit.com/r/ABraT.....uide/ to find out your real size and get a really well fitting bra. It sounds like you're wearing bras that aren't really supporting you, that are unflattering and uncomfortable. I went down this rabbit hole last year, I bought all new bras and I can't take how unsupportive and unflattering the previous ones are compared to the new ones. It took some reading to figure out what brands and models to focus on, and some ordering and returning on amazon until I found the exact ones that work for me, but they're so much better. I landed on Elomi which has a wide range of sizes, and if you don't care about buying less popular colors, you can find for pretty reasonable prices on amazon.

It won't solve all your problems, but it will definitely make things a bit more tolerable .
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amother
Currant


 

Post Sun, May 19 2024, 4:54 pm
I would so love to be reduced by at least 3 cup sizes. It's so hard to find bras and when I do they are so expensive and if it breaks it's pretty sad. Bras are also just not attractive when they're the size of soup tureens. DH doesn't care, loves it all, but I am not comfortable in my own skin. When I lie down my cleavage is practically strangling me, no matter how high my necklines are there's always a threat of cleavage but of course I can't wear button down because the buttons don't close. Don't even get me started on the sagging. And they keep getting bigger and bigger.
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