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Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section
What do you tell the kallah at her wedding?



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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Jun 05 2024, 8:33 am
Before the chuppah when the kallah is sitting in her seat and everyone goes over to say mazel tov, what do you tell her? I see people talking on and on, but I never know what to say other than mazel tov, you look beautiful, you should build a BNB. That takes about 17 seconds, but it seems like most women speak for a good 3-4 minutes. What else is there to say?
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Rappel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 05 2024, 8:35 am
If you know her very well, then you can chat with her
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hodeez




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 05 2024, 8:36 am
Lol BNB 😂 never seen it referenced that way
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Queen Of Hearts




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 05 2024, 8:38 am
hodeez wrote:
Lol BNB 😂 never seen it referenced that way


Where'd you think airbnb got their name from? 🤪
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amother
Violet


 

Post Wed, Jun 05 2024, 8:46 am
amother OP wrote:
Before the chuppah when the kallah is sitting in her seat and everyone goes over to say mazel tov, what do you tell her? I see people talking on and on, but I never know what to say other than mazel tov, you look beautiful, you should build a BNB. That takes about 17 seconds, but it seems like most women speak for a good 3-4 minutes. What else is there to say?


If you are not close 15 seconds is fine. Theres a line!

Otherwise, tell her who you are and connection if she doesnt know.
Praise whoever your connection is (her mother, grandmother, chosson family, we still rememberwhen you were a toddler at rhe bungolow colony). You can ask for a bracha.

Still probably takes 15 to 30 seconds.

Take your cue from the kallah. If she asks you something you can answer (hows your kids, mother, whatever)

Who speaks 3 to 4 minutes?
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chestnut




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 05 2024, 8:46 am
Queen Of Hearts wrote:
Where'd you think airbnb got their name from? 🤪

Lol
The kallah also talks and responds during those times, so it's not always guests who're talking. They probably know her well.
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amother
Forsythia


 

Post Wed, Jun 05 2024, 9:37 am
Mazal tov! You look beautiful. I'm Tante Fradel, Zaidy Stein's sister. Don't worry if you don't remember my name. We're all so excited for you and Shmerel, you are getting such a wonderful boy. Mazal tov, mazal tov, you should build a bayis neeman byisrael.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 05 2024, 9:55 am
Who talks 3-4 minutes? That actually sounds a little rude - holding up a whole line of people who want to wish mazal tov. Keep it short!
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stillnewlywed




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 05 2024, 12:46 pm
If it's a friend I sometimes ask how their day went etc. But it's still not more than 30 seconds or so.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 05 2024, 1:17 pm
Don't tell her something that will make her so unsettled she'll leave the kisseh kallah and go to the chatan tish. For an explanation. If you don't know what to say just Mazel tov
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 05 2024, 1:19 pm
Chayalle wrote:
Who talks 3-4 minutes? That actually sounds a little rude - holding up a whole line of people who want to wish mazal tov. Keep it short!

I've seen this many times. A lot of people stand and chat with the kallah for a few minutes, I don't get it.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 05 2024, 4:10 pm
It's actually rather rude to conduct a whole conversation. Seven to fifteen seconds really is the is the appropriate time span. There are dozens if not hundreds of others waiting their turn.
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joonabug




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 05 2024, 4:15 pm
usually I ask the kallah for a bracha bc they have koach tefilla
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erm




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 05 2024, 4:27 pm
It drives me a little crazy when I'm waiting to say mazel tov to the kallah and her friend is there for 5 minutes talking to her. I know it is a time to get/give a brocha but you also have to be considerate of all the people who are waiting.
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amother
Iris


 

Post Wed, Jun 05 2024, 6:03 pm
There's the relative from the chosson's side who just has to explain how she's related and how close she is to the chosson and how wonderful he is and how excited they all are and her 7 children (name and ages of each one) who are also really close to the chosson and so happy and on and on.

There's the good friends or best friends that will have a whole conversation, usually a continuation of a previous conversation, such as about clothes or hair, or something else that was discussed prior to it. And then the kallah needs to give a long and heartfelt brocha to each of her single friends.

Most people will just be mazel tov and move on.
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